Dude Looks Like A Lady

[Ross (DELETED 9384)]

Ross was tempted to tell Balthazar that '***' worked, but decided against it. It seemed the guy moved past the 1950's and was snapping back to the current time and place. He agreed that men and women could live together, and even admitted to being anything but old fashioned. It was sort of obvious with the amount of ink the guy was sporting, but sometimes people needed to be reminded that women could be progressive too, it not more than men, on occasion.

She turned her head when he mentioned he would take whatever she had to offer. Was there more to that statement, or had she been imagining it? Time would tell. Ross nodded her head and moved through the main area of the apartment and then turned right. She stopped and pointed out the bathroom to him. "Our bathroom. It's between both bedrooms." A selling point in her mind. Neither had to hear what the other was doing in their own room since that bathroom had been placed in a location. "If you decide this is the place for you, there's a drawer that's got your name on it and we'll figure if you need more room later." Ross said with a shrug of her shoulders before she finished going off to the right.

"And this would be your room. Fairly decent size, average closet." A light was flicked on not far from the doorway they walked through, as Ross came in all the way. "Like I said, bed, small dresser...closet is there..." She pointed to a wall, where a door was close to the corner. "It's more long than wide." Ross offered, before going over everything in the ad. "With the rent and the heat bill...rent and the heat will cost about three hundred tops a month." She said, getting right to the point, not wanting to waste his time if this was not the place for him. "Cheaper in summer, heat not used as much or at all, the winter months I like to keep it at a comfortable sixty-eight degrees. I don't like to have to wear layers in my own apartment." She confessed, leaving out that she didn't really like wearing clothes at all, but that would have to change if '***' became her roommate.

[Balthazar]

Balthazar watched the woman known as Ross lead him back and forth pointing out what there was to see and what was available in the ‘share a pad’ deal. So far so good. Three hundred was easy enough to make in a day if he worked his game as he had been known to in the past. He had more than enough in his own account to ride out a good year of rent and no work at all if needed. Not that he was planning on being around that long. How long would it take to find out what he needed to know about Jesse Fforde and his ties to Christopher? Longer than he had ever planned on sleeping in the backseat of the schmucks caddy. His mind was made up then and there. Captain Kangaroo could have been leading him around and it still would have been an offer he wouldn’t refuse.

“Sounds good and looks even better.”

Yes, indeed. Ross was about to get herself a roommate. One boot pressed down and was followed by the other as he stepped in the room that was pointed out as available to be his. His peripheral vision served him well as he kept track of her so the woman didn’t jump out of her own skin as he got closer. The ink canvas from Seattle found a way around her and then leaned over just enough. His inked hand reached out, patted the mattress of the bed and discovered it was just how he liked it. Thankfully it was hard as a rock. A good night's sleep was worth close to three hundred going by what he had already forked out for the first couple nights he rented hotel rooms in the city.

“One drawer is plenty and no worries on the temperature control. You can have it how you like it. I am good hot or cold. Screw the layers. It is your place.” He was back around her and stepping back out into the hall making his announcement. “The best suit that I have I was born wearing. Colorful and seen often if you can handle that.”

Nudity was about as awkward for Balthazar as would be inhaling in front of a stranger to breathe. It didn’t register that it should be embarrassing or something to make excuses for. Because, well, it shouldn’t be. It was as natural as taking another breath in his book.

“I will take it.” He watched her still standing in the room he would be crashing in. “When is the earliest it is accessible? I figure it would take approximately 5 minutes for me to move in.” He was stretching it. He was already moved in. Pretty much what he had to bring in he already did since he was wearing it on his body when he walked in.

[Ross (DELETED 9384)]

Balthazar seemed easy going, which was right up her alley. She didn't want or need a high maintenance roommate. One that needed quite after certain times of the day. Her job wasn't a typical nine to five. Or eight to six, nothing close to that. Some days Ross would have one or two jobs in that time frame-then the next three or four, she was being called out of bed at two or three a.m. due to a malfunction somewhere in the city. It wasn't glamorous, but it paid a lot of money and she liked her job. No, she loved her job.

Then the tables turned. Ross' eyes flicked up and down, taking in what would more than likely be her new roommate as he talked about his birthday suit. Nudity didn't bother Ross at all-she was guilty of running around half naked herself most mornings or nights before running out the door to fix something, somewhere in the city. "Slow down, Lady Godiva." Ross said holding a hand up. "Once in a blue moon, my boyfriend comes over. I don't think he'd appreciate seeing all that good looking skin there." Ross was more or less implying his art work, and not so much his physique. "So let's make a deal? An arrangement of sorts?"

"Chances are in the middle of the day, he's not coming by. So how you walk around then, is fine by me. But usually on weekends he comes around...so let's just agree to wearing boxers, briefs, or whatever you wear beneath those pants. Deal?" Yeah, no way was Ross wanting to deal with that drama. Not that her boyfriend was overly dramatic, but he lacked a little self-esteem, or something. Which reminded her about the phone in her back pocket. More than likely him, and chances were Ross was going to hear about how he had texted her two or three times before she answered him. "Deal?" She held out a hand, implying she was ready to seal the deal if he was cool with that.

[Balthazar]

“Got it.” He nodded as if he had made this deal at least a thousand times before. “Air drying on the weekends isn’t going to happen. I am not here to scare off what you already got lined up, no worries there.” Not that Ross would know it but he pretty much resigned himself to not getting anywhere in the lucky or laid department. All for one good reason. He was cursed and he couldn’t shake it if he tried. “I’m good for the rules.”

Balthazar found Ross far cooler than her eye catching ink now that she was revealing more of what she was about. Obviously she didn’t answer to anyone. Huge bonus points there. The lady called her own shots. An even bigger score in his book. She was fully secure with herself and her personal space to be open to sharing it with a dude that she wasn’t banging or planning on riding. So much win. He didn’t hang around chicks all that much. It likely showed. However, the ones he did spend any amount of time with had to be down like Ross seemed to be. No ********, no drama, no shade. It already was feeling like home away from home.

“So when is the move in? The sooner it is the better. I got some laundry I need to do before your Superman flies in and catches my backdraft.” His hands plucked at his shirt in a ‘notice this’ gesture. “Been a day or two since it has seen Mr. Bubbles.”

Uncouth? Hell yes. Presumptuous? Most likely. Honest? If she got any closer she probably would be able to know he was keeping it real. That was the only way it was going to work for either of them. Upfront and no holds barred. He tried not to look at her as the thought came to mind. He had a few holds that he still was game on trying if the conditions were ever right. Unfortunately she was now the new roomy. That was a game changer. He was better off looking at the wall. Which is exactly what he did but found nothing notable on it to keep him from looking odd at best.

“Parking. Anything designated or do you prefer I park my cruiseship out on the public street?” Simple as that he found something else to focus on.

[Ross (DELETED 9384)]

Ross wasn't concerned or worried about Balthazar ruining anything she already had going on. She had been with her boyfriend on and off for a couple of years, and they had finally been 'on' for more then six months. Ross nodded her head, letting him know she heard him, but didn't say anything. She did smile about the 'air-drying' comment though. He was witty, she would give him that much. Or at least had some funny bones in him.

"Whenever. Next week, tomorrow, tonight. Washer and dryer unit are in the basement. I can show you that when you move in. Seventy-five cents to wash. A buck to dry. I don't set the prices. But I spend about five bucks a week on laundry. The mat is cheaper, but I don't have time to be sitting around trying to save a quarter to dry my crap." Ross crossed her arms at her chest, giving him a a quick glance over. "Mr. Bubbles might not do the trick, if it's been that long. Might be ready to fall off." A fleeting smirk crossed her lips before she waved a hand for him to follow her, taking him to the living room windows.

"We've got two assigned spots. Side by side. My truck is there..." Ross pointed to where her truck was at, before pointing to the slot to the left of it. "Don't care which one you take, but if you park in any other spots than those two....you're liable to get a ticket, or towed. Just a forewarning. People are dicks about their spots. Even if it's just a friend popping by to pick up a movie for three minutes. They can park on the street in front of the building from nine to five during the week and all weekend long." With that, she turned back to the tattooed riddled man and asked the million dollar question. "When's the big move in day?"

[Balthazar]

Balthazar eyed the space and figured with some careful maneuvering he could get the beast of automotive history into the slot he was being given the option of using. It beat getting tickets for parking where Chris’s caddy wasn’t wanted. The truck that would be parked beside it had his attention for a few seconds longer then he stepped away.

“Yeah, is why I asked about parking. I don’t want to pay for the extra space on the streets the thing takes up. She attracts tickets like an alleycat does fleas.” He had two fines he needed to pay now that he thought about it. He added it to his list of things that he had to do that he would rather ball up and toss in the closest waste basket. “Nice truck.”

He wasn’t going to put his foot in his mouth and ask her about it. He still was backpedaling from expecting to find a dude answering the door. Plain and simple he was going to play it safe for the moment. He considered it a win that he wouldn’t be subjected to the stink of the back seat upholstery for another night. She wanted to know when the big day was.

“All I need is a key and I am in.” Perhaps she thought he was full of **** about needing to do laundry and it consisting of what he was wearing. Maybe she thought he had some boxes to haul in and unpack over the course of a weekend or two. She would learn differently if that was the case. “This is it.” His hands rotated in the whole wala flair then dropped to slip slowly into his front pants pockets. “I won’t be getting mail so no worries in having to weed out anything for me or giving me a key to for that.” He stepped around the room making sure to steer clear of what she had in place. “I haven’t had much luck on getting an answer so perhaps I could ask you.” His right hand wiggled a little beneath the denim that covered it. He pulled it out and revealed a wad of cash. The bills unfolded and he fanned out enough for the first two months and held it out for her to take. “Know of any golf courses around here? Not the public ones. I am looking for private.” He nodded at the money. “Two months in advance or you rather have three?” Not that he planned on staying in town that long but just in case things changed he would be covered.

[Ross (DELETED 9384)]

"It's okay. I'm looking for a change." Ross admitted-even though he was right. The truck was nice...Ross had just seen something nicer. Ross stepped around him and back from the window, in search of the spare key. Ross believed and hoped that the door to all the flats would keep them safe, so she didn't hide it too hard. In fact, she hardly hid it at all.

Ross moved to the kitchen and opened the cupboard with bowls and plates of various sizes, and stood on the tips of her toes to reach the top shelf with the bowls. "Here you are." She flashed the copper key that would open the front door and their private door. The other hand came out for the two month's worth of rent, while the other extended to offer the key. "Two months is cool. I trust ya. If not, I can kick your *** out." She shrugged, confident she could make her foot meet his *** and put it out.

Once the money and key was exchanged, Ross thought about his question. Golf was the absolute last thing she thought he would ask about, but it did make her think. "Private golf....hrm." Ross crossed her arms at her chest, then slowly nodded. "It's been a while, but over in the Swansdale area...I had to do a job near it. I think I drove past one near the most upscale side that district. Other than that..." Ross shrugged after putting the wad of cash in her back pocket. "Can't really be of any more help. But, if you have some open skin, I know a place or two that will put that skin to good use." Her arms came at both sides, before Ross shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry. I could ask my...boyfriend?" She offered, inching her way back into the living room. "I might crash soon-never know when I might get a call. But, come and go how you want to, bring in what you want to-as long as it's not ugly as hell, and just be respectful of the volume on the television. We'll be golden forever, roomie." Ross gave him a once over for the second time tonight, before turning towards her room. "See you later." She had a phone waiting for a few text message replies in the other pocket and Ross certainly didn't want him coming around tonight out of paranoia or whatever.

[Balthazar]

Balthazar had a key in his hand and the promise of a decent night's rest to go with it. It was like he didn’t know what to do first. Sort of. A shower was in order then hours of sleep. Once Ross was out of the general viewing area he was headed to the bathroom. A shower. The steam was filling the small room with the lack of cold water faucet being used. He stripped down and made sure he didn’t waste what was up until that point pretty hard to come by at the same time. Fresh hot water and soap.

Ten minutes later he opened the door. The cloud of warm steam followed behind him as he walked out in his pants holding the rest of what he wearing before he started. Now that he was clean it was time to make a store run. He had somewhere to keep things even if he was pretty much a minimalist. He could pull the toothpaste and toothbrush out of the glove box. Those things didn’t need replacing. He had some pit stick in there too. Of course the mustache wax that he was known to prefer expertly created out of a base of soft beeswax and left an after scent of fresh pine would be less likely to stay in the car. Once he brought it in it would be found on the surface of the small bedside nightstand. Oddly he didn’t own a comb. He had always used his fingers to style anything on his body that needed it.

He rolled up his shorts and between the steam enveloping him and the movement of the fabric he noticed that it smelled like a near case of swamp *** about to kick in. Counting his lucky stars he started making a mental checklist of what else would be needed. His current commando status was fine and well for the time it would take to pick up some more ‘*** covers’ as he called them. Socks too. He sniffed his shirt and figured turning it inside out for the moment was the wise option. The jingle of his keys went with him as he exited the apartment back in his boots stopping only to toss the shorts that were not worth another wash and wear into the nearest recycling container.

Once he was inside Christopher Fforde's relic caddy he popped open the glove box and used the deodorant that really made all the difference in the world when he lifted his arms to apply it. The reversed t-shirt was worth saving but that didn't change the fact it was currently ripe. A quick trip to shop for the basics meant all of his minor problems would be solved. Whatever remained would improve greatly with a decent night's rest.