Inevitable Return of the Prodigal [Felicity]

[Jesse Fforde]

J E S S E
The text messages were enough to put Jesse in a bad mood -- still as tempestuous as always, he just wished he weren't so quick to jump to anger. Anger meant that he cared. The text message would have been ignored if he didn't -- no offer for help, if Felicity needed it. Given that she was currently on her way, he wondered if she hadn't reached out just to let him know that she was still alive. Could this have been her goal all along? A skirmish session had just ended, and Jesse was checking over the guns used by the customers to make sure that they were clean and all still working properly. He filled the barrels with paint pellets, before locking the cage that held the paintguns and making his way back upstairs. He reserved one of the booths, and told the staff at the bar that he was not to be disturbed. And then he settled in to wait.


F E L I C I T Y
There was art of her that was surprised she had said what she had in the text messages. She had held on to a lot though, a lot of things that she should have let go of long ago and hadn’t. She knew better, she knew keeping things bottled up inside only lead to more issues later down the road. Late or not she had to say them, she didn’t blame Jesse, she knew she had played a role in their past. She had left the city, like she has numerous times since. Should anyone trust her probably not, but to be honest she didn’t feel like she had anyone either. Sure Jesse offered help to her if she needed it, would spend time with her if she asked, but she never felt as if she was involved and a piece of the puzzle. She had felt like an outsider, a bystander amongst them. As if she didn’t belong. Finally finding her way to Serpentine she walked inside taking a breath. She wore a pair of jeans with leather black boots that wrapped up her calves to her knees with a black shirt hidden beneath her leather winter coat. Her eyes darted around before spotting her sire. Walking over to where he was she smiled. “Hello Jesse”.


J E S S E
Jesse pulled in a breath when Felicity arrived, holding on to it while he counted to five. Only then did the smile slowly curl the corners of his lips, one that barely touched his eyes. It was as if he had to force himself into a particular state of being, into a particular personality. He would not care, he told himself. He refused. "Flick," he said, before gesturing to the booth across from him. How many times had they sat like this, talked like this? "Welcome back," he said in his usual husky tones.


F E L I C I T Y
Following his gesture she slid into the booth reminding herself she wasn’t here to fight or yell and scream but somehow a bit of her wanted to. Looking across to her sire she took a breath before speaking. “I know we have done this song and dance several times, more than I care to count. And I realize how my words would be little to you at this point.” She took another breath, she knew she had to be entirely honest, not just with him but with herself. She hadn’t exactly tried with the family not as hard as she could have due to her own issues over time. Sitting there she knew she had no right to be angry yet she was. Mostly with herself.


J E S S E
Jesse arched a brow. He could have argued but he didn't. He couldn't have reassured Felicity. The amount of times she's said she was staying but didn't -- at least this time she'd warned him that she might not stay. That's how it had sounded. There was no pussy-footing around the topic -- their conversation picked up right where it had left off. "You're not wrong. If you tell me you're going to stay, I probably wouldn't believe you. But you do always come back, so I've stopped worrying when you disappear. What's different, this time?" he asked, more curious than angry.


F E L I C I T Y
His questions caught her slightly off guard but she didn’t back down, she wouldn’t just sit here and say what she felt everyone wanted to hear. She had been doing that for far too long. Not due to anyone else just her own self-conscious issues. “I don’t know that this time is different, to be honest. However I guess that is what makes it different now, I am not just going to say what I think people want to hear, or try and appease you or everyone else for that matter. I’m just going to be honest. Now before you think I am blaming anyone I’m not, let me clarify that. My motives were not caused by any one person mainly just by myself. Because I thought it was the right thing to do I suppose. “She paused for a moment. Felicity wasn’t able to say she wasn’t going to leave again, she didn’t know if she would actually find her home here this time or not. Perhaps that had been her goal all along, yet over all this time she had still not found that place that felt like home to her. Everywhere she had gone she had been an outsider looking in. Never taking part, just watching others go on and live their lives.


J E S S E
Jesse shook his head. He still didn't understand. Had she delivered the honest truth that she'd said she was going to, yet, or was she holding back? Waiting for him to nod and agree and tell her he understood, or that he wouldn't be angry? In the end, he did nod. He nodded and shrugged his shoulders. "It's not a huge deal, Flick. You are your own person, and you're not beholden to anyone else. You can go where you want and do what you want and you don't HAVE to tell anyone. No one's your keeper. It might be NICE, sure, but you aren't living by some invisible set of rules. "You thought it was the right thing to leave?"


F E L I C I T Y
Again with the questions, looked like she would be putting it all out there. Not holding anything back any longer. “I did, I didn’t feel I belonged here or with the Fforde line Jesse. One being when we started you were more than just my sire, you were my lover. That all abruptly ended when I left. I get that I understand the logic. I’m not mad at you back then I was, now I just need to say it all so it doesn’t drive me insane. Seeing you with Grey when I came back wasn’t exactly easy, after that I did sort of try to connect with the line, it just seemed I fell short. Then I left again and again. Each time I returned I felt more and more of an outsider. Not like I was a part of the whole but standing on the outside watching everyone else. I have felt that way for an incredibly long time. I don’t blame anyone other than myself. My own insecurities and issues drove me down that path and I didn’t stop the ride. I just went with it. This time I don’t know that it will be any different, however I am not going to speak my truth. I don’t blame you or anyone else and I want you to know that. I don’t hold ill will or hate inside of me. For a while there was anger, very well hidden but it was there, and I never spoke up because I had become a piece in the background and I remained there.” It was her best explanation and least it made sense in her mind.


J E S S E
Jesse listened with intense curiosity, wanting the answers whether or not Felicity wanted to give them to begin with. There was so much that she had missed, so much that went on in the large chunks of her absences -- she had missed so much that she wouldn't understand why Jesse laughed. But he did laugh. Shifting in his chair he shook his head, gaining control of his amusement so that he could try to explain. "There is no Fforde. There is no family. You could never have felt like you were part of a whole because there never was a whole. Sometimes it might have looked like it, but most of the time it was just misunderstandings and complications. Y'know? I could try to tell you that in order to feel part of something you have to BE part of it, you have to make those connections and keep those bonds strong. But even if you tried harder, I'm not sure you'd have succeeded. So you don't have to worry about being a part of it, okay? Let it go, it's not worth it," he said, delivering the diatribe with more resignation than any kind of bitterness.

[Felicity (DELETED 4145)]

F E L I C I T Y
His response forced Felicity to pause. She had to think over the words he spoke now, how he spoke about the Fforde line. “What do you mean there is no Fforde, no family? Wasn’t that what you were building all along, is that not what this is…? Sure dysfunctional would be in an explanation of the family however almost all families are.” She furrowed her brows at that point, looking at Jesse she shook her head slowly. “You have been willing to help be through everything, every time I have left, every time I needed something, you at least were there. It will never be like it was in the beginning I know that. However that is was families do for each other. I haven’t been the best at having your back or being there for you and the others as I should have, very much so. I understand that. However how can you say there is no family what so ever..?”


J E S S E
Jesse leaned forward, elbows on the table as he took a breath. Was this going to be a repeat of the conversation he'd once had with Kaelyn? Was she going to be angry because he had decided to give up? "Look, there's still people around. That's not what I'm saying. They know they have a place to go if they need it, someone to call on, but that's the crux, isn't it? You said so yourself. A family has each other's backs, despite dysfunction. They do it because they have loyalty to a name. Recently I discovered that more were willing to die than to lose that name and those people will always be held in high esteem. But there were also people who decided to sever ties with me, with Fforde. The loyalty only goes so far. I'm not as bitter about it as I once was. I killed myself for a family who couldn't rally on my behalf, so I decided not to care. It was my goal to turn it into a family, and so I'm allowed to say it doesn't exist. We're a bloodline, not a family. I can't force it. I can't do it alone. Everyone has to be committed. And they're not. And that's just how it stands."


F E L I C I T Y
She shook her head. “I don’t know everyone all that well, nor am going to get upset at you because others don’t have the same goal in mind as you do. However Jesse you are my family, that much is true. Even if I run away more than I am here. I need work on that but I can’t promise it won’t happen again. I can only say I am here now. I’m not leaving tomorrow so there is that. I don’t know what the future holds. But yes there is the bloodline and it doesn’t mean everyone in the line is the family however you are my family. You’re the only family I have and I don’t want to just throw it away or act as if I don’t care. I do care. So call it what you want, you can have your stance I will have mine and that is ok.” She sighed heavily wishing she could drink, alcohol would have made this much easier though she knew the truth behind that it wasn’t alcohol she wanted. No matter she had learned to deal and the city wasn’t the same anymore and she was becoming aware of that. “I’d like to catch up, find out what I have been missing all this time, so I am not so in the dark on everything either with the line or the city for that matter.”


J E S S E
"You don't want to know everything. It's just a whole lot of violence and heartache and assholes being assholes for the sake of it, because they're bored. You can ask someone else, maybe, if you want the whole story. I don't particularly want to talk about it," he said. Which was the truth. There were things he wanted to let go, and he didn't want to revisit them. He settled back in the booth, relaxing somewhat. "The city... the city has changed. Humans know about us, now. It's still unstable, and we don't really know which way it's going to land, but at least we're not being rounded up and put in cages," he said. For all the rumours about ID bracelets, nothing had come of it. "As for the line, it's quiet but I'm content. Appreciate the good you have, and all that jazz. I'm bound to Clover," he said, eyeing Felicity carefully. She said she was over it, and he'd like for that to be true. Although he appreciated her calling him her family, although he took it and stored it away, it wasn't something that he could or would comment on. Not yet. As she said, he had his stance, and roots had grown. It was a hard stance to shift from.


F E L I C I T Y
Felicity sat there listening as he spoke to her. At first she wanted to question him about these things he didn’t want to talk about but she didn’t she would take it to someone else. It would seem that was the best option regardless. As he mentioned his binding she smiled a true and real smile to him. “Congratulations.” She managed to squeeze in before he continued on about the city and everything else now. It would seem that life would be harder in this city now, however perhaps it could also be a bit more interesting, maybe. She didn’t know what to think on that at the moment. “How long have you and Clover been bound?” She asked with a genuine interest. She was happy for them. Happy that not everything was lost. Perhaps there was still a bit of a family here after all even if Jesse didn’t want to call it that or view it in that light. Her interest only grew now. She was over the past, it had all needed saying and she had finally said it. Now she could finally not dwell on what would happen if she was just honest. Of course being honest not only with herself but with others was easier said than done. She leaned into the booth now a bit more as she got comfortable settling in finally, and not sitting so rigid and stiff like before.


J E S S E
"About six months, a little over," he said, the corner of his lips twitching into that smile he wore whenever he thought about his wife. Wife. Who'd have thought he'd ever have one? Despite how long it had been, it was still such a novelty. And though they had their disagreements, it only served to spice things up. Their disagreements made them stronger. "But where have you been? What have you been doing?" Jesse asked, curious, wanting Felicity to fill in the blank spaces of time. It wasn't like it once was -- he didn't keenly feel their absence like he had before, nor did he crave the comfort of their company. For so long he had been so broken, but he had pushed through. Now, he was curious for curiosity's sake; he wasn't interrogating, merely asking the questions.


F E L I C I T Y
She smiled watching him as he talked about Clover. It made her happy to see him happy he deserved that and she knew it. “I’m happy for you.” She nodded before he continued on now. More questions she smiled and took a breath before offering a shrug. “I did a lot of traveling mostly. I went home and watched people realizing I was no longer in their world, so I moved on and jumped on train and rode it as far as it would, I ended up in Canada for a bit, and continued on with the traveling. I don’t know I was looking for something I wasn’t finding. Mainly a place to belong, till finally I came back here not sure where else to go. I figured I would see if my key still worked.” She smiled softly. “The world isn’t like it was when I was human, well it is and it isn’t all at the same time I suppose. At some point I would love to go into more detail on my travels and the different flavors I found on them.” She grinned remembering some of the countries she had gone to and those she had fed from, the difference in the blood, it made her mouth water in a way.


J E S S E
Jesse considered Felicity’s answer. He’d never felt like she did; but he’d never had much of a world to begin with. He’d not had people to feel outside of. Wherever he went he had become a part of, until things inevitably went south and he was kicked to the gutter. Bereft, then, of a family group – of that thing he wanted without realising he wanted it – and he had strived to build something of his own. He continued to say that it was gone, that he had given up on it, but here Felicity was. And there was Clover, there was Marisol. Now, there was Charlie. There was Aine and Tara, both often absent like Felicity but they always came back, and this he chose to be thankful for. He would focus on the way they came, rather than on the way they left. Jesse himself had never had much of an urge to travel, but he liked to hear about it. “Your key still works. You’d have to do a hell of a lot for that key to stop working,” he said, quietly. “And it would seem like sire like childe. They do taste different, don’t they? Depending on their life choices,” he said, musing. At least she seemed to have no qualms about feeding. “You’ll have to come back to Limbo. You’re welcome there. Come say hey to the others, let them know you’re back,” he said.

[Jesse Fforde]

F E L I C I T Y
Felicity smiled to Jesse now and nodded to him. “They do taste incredibly different, different choices, their diets, how they live their lives it’s all there in their blood. At least to me it is.” She smiled remembering the different flavors she had sampled along her way. From Vegans, to people with a deep passion for wine, she wanted to sample as much as she could, it wasn’t the same as food. She knew that however for her it was almost better in many ways. She had come to accept who and what she was now, even if she had a few problems, of course there had been reasons she found herself in a Buddhist temple more than a few times. “I would be happy to go to Limbo again and let everyone know, are we doing something for Christmas?” She was curious if plans had been made for the Holidays yet, and if not if perhaps anyone would be interested in making some plans for them soon. She smiled now a smile that seemed to touch her eyes just barely, though she was more relaxed and calm falling into her own rhythm now. In a way she had begun to find her peace. A peace that for a few years she wasn’t sure she would find ever again.


J E S S E
Jesse shrugged and shook his head. "I haven't organised anything for Christmas. I was never really good at organising things..." he said. In fact, he hadn't even thought about Christmas festivities until Felicity mentioned it. When he looked up, he noticed that the bar was scattered with Christmas decorations, but that must have been Charlie's doing -- or one of the other staff. But then, also, Jesse was preoccupied, thinking about New Year. Clover wanted a wedding. A proper celebration. When they'd got bound they'd done it on a whim; there'd been no party, no witnesses. Just the two of them an Aeryn the ritualist. A big ceremony wasn't something that bothered Jesse and he'd have been happy enough to continue on without it. But it was something that Clover wanted, and after everything she had done for him... well. It was time he returned the favour. They had a lot to organise, and he supposed that was the invitation he should give. "If you want to try to organise something have at it."


F E L I C I T Y
Felicity smiled to Jesse and nodded, before biting her lip thinking over what she could plan. “I can try, just not positive that I am the person to do it is all.” She said before furrowing her brows. She shrugged it off and smiled a half smile. “I can give it a go I suppose.” She finally said to him before thinking on what exactly she could do. She hadn’t been around the city for a while now, she hadn’t been in touch with anyone here in so long she wasn’t sure where she could even begin. She wanted to there had always been a lot Felicity wanted to accomplish, however she had fallen short. Time after time, of course her leaving never helped her in that. Though to say she didn’t learn anything on her travels would have been a lie. She had learned a lot about herself and about how to balance herself out. How to deal with her new found problems she faced daily. Not because she didn’t want to be what she was anymore, but because she needed to learn how to be what she has become and be happy with who and what she was.

[Felicity (DELETED 4145)]

J E S S E
"Doesn't matter if you don't. It's not a big deal," Jesse said. He doubted anyone would care, much, if there was no gathering. And if they did care overly much, they could organise something themselves. There were plenty of transformations that Jesse had gone through, one of which was quitting breaking his back trying to please everyone. No one could ever make everyone happy. "If you want something to happen, even, just post something to the forum -- maybe someone else will jump on the bandwagon. Or help you. I run four businesses and I'm kind of strapped for time. Speaking of which," he said, glancing at his watch then back up to the door leading to the tattoo parlour. "I have a client coming in ten minutes and I should prepare. Go to Limbo, yeah? And I'll see you there later."


F E L I C I T Y
Felicity smiled to Jesse in that moment she decided she was going to get something going, even if it were just a small gathering that didn’t matter and she understood that. Whoever wanted to show up could, she couldn’t continue to worry about if any of them wanted her around, she was here and she would make the most of whatever time she had while she still had her delicate control of her mind. "I will get something together. May not be anything big but something." She nodded as she spoke stating it as a simple fact and nothing more. Hearing him talk about work she nodded and heaved her chest sighing then. "Speaking of which it would seem I am in need of a job, do you need any help in any of your businesses?" She asked him not trying to keep him from his work but wanting to have something she could do, to help and to be of use. She couldn’t wait to be given orders or asked to do something, this time she needed to take the initiative and make things happen herself. She couldn’t wait on others or continue to second guess herself.


J E S S E
"Ah... sure," he said. At this point he was standing, half leading against the corner of the booth. "Depends on what you want to do? There's the bar and the tattoo studio," he said, nodding to the other half of the establishment. "And the parkour gym downstairs. It's not glamorous, but you could do the books? Be an attendant? Unless you like gardening -- I've got the biodome off site," he said. That one was new. Clover had worked there, and she was no longer. "Just have a think about it, let me know. I'll slip you in. The more help the better. We're kind of understaffed all around," he said. It was a constant issue, but Charlie was a huge help.


F E L I C I T Y
Felicity smiled to Jesse and nodded as she stood up. “I will let you know.” She didn’t want to just make a snap judgement choice in the moment, she wanted to actually visit each place and then decide for herself which would be the best option. She hadn’t seen much of the city so this would give her something to go and do while she explored her home once again. She really didn’t know what to expect other than it was still a city full of vampires and now apparently the humans knew they existed she still wasn’t sure what to make of that. “Thank you Jesse, I’ll see you soon.” She smiled to him with a nod understanding he had a job to do and his client would be there soon.