Emerson believed in some kind of God. She really did. She had grown up in a household with two very spiritual parents, and although they were of different faiths, their practices and lifestyles didn’t clash in any way. They incorporated aspects of each religion into their daughter’s life as she grew, but they never forced her to believe any of it. The Vettels left that decision up to Emerson on her own. Granted, as she grew up, surrounded by friends who believed in more or less the same concept, she began to form her own views and opinions. With her school sharing and exposing her mind to the ideas of science, she was often conflicted in what to or not to believe. Nonetheless, as she grew older, she stood by her changing decisions and welcomed the possibility that the decisions she had one day could be different the next. Before today, the day in Harper Rock, the day of witnessing things too extreme for her fragile heart, she believed in some kind of God. Someone who was looking out for her, facing her with light challenges so she could grow and learn and become a better version of her truest self. But then, as she lay in an alley covered in blood and gore, struggling to breathe and see and hear and think, she didn’t believe in a God anymore. What kind of God was cruel enough to let her die? What kind of God didn’t recognize that good things should happen to good people?
She was dying. There was no way to deny it. The air wasn’t passing through her lungs as easily as it used to. Breathing was something people weren’t conscious of - you didn’t have to think about it. All Emerson could do, then and there, as she lay on the ground, was think about breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. In, out. In. out. With each breath, the task became increasingly difficult. Something was making her lungs and her throat feel tight. When she couldn’t bear to think about how she would soon stop breathing, she thought about her heart beating. She could hear it doing so, loud in her ears, worsening the already throbbing pain in her head. The beat was pounding, deafening, overwhelming, but it was there. At least it was still there.
But then something made her stop thinking about breathing, stop hearing her heartbeat. An unidentifiable force brought all her pain bubbling to the surface one moment and completely wiped it all away the next. It was a sensation like nothing she had ever experienced before, she was sure of it, but she was thankful for when it was over. No longer did her head or chest ache. No longer did she have to see the blood of another human being coating her skin and her clothes. Instead, she drifted in nothingness, a vast unknown on darkness and silence. The place was cool, but not cold. Not freezing, or particularly uncomfortable, but enough to notice the change in temperature. Unlike what others had told her, there was no light to be found at the end of the tunnel. She felt as if she was floating in space. Had she? Had the energy from her soul been birthed into that of a distant star?
What happened next was like something out of a movie. Emerson’s eyes flew open wide as a strangled sound ripped from the back of her throat. The pain was back. All the pain, hot like a white light, from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet. It spread like fire, consuming her, burning her alive with every twitch, every breath, every beat of her heart. Or, lack thereof. The pounding of her heartbeat in her ears was replaced with a continuous roll of buzzing pain, pain, pain. She couldn’t figure out what was going on. Her surroundings seemed the same as they were before she closed her eyes. A dark alleyway littered with glass and blood and debris. The same place from before she died. Did she not? Was she surviving, thriving off the slivers of life some uncruel God was offering her as a second chance? She didn’t want to think about it. In fact, she couldn’t. All she could do was let small sobs rack her body as she managed to somehow curl up onto her side, knees to her chest and arms locked tightly around them. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the blur of shoes she had seen earlier. One less pair, but a pair nonetheless. Was it the tall man, or the woman? Neither one of them seemed to give off a particularly welcoming presence. But what else could she do?
"P-please," she begged quietly. What she was begging for was even unknown to the young brunette herself. For the pain to stop, to spare her life, to give her answers about who she was and why she was here and what the **** was going on. Anything was welcome. Anything at all.