Jane’s thoughts are not worthy of high-grade paper and an attractive cover. Stacks of legal notepads crowd the bottom drawer of her desk, and whenever necessary, she plucks one out and claims it as a journal. Her current journals are kept atop a shelf in her bedroom, sometimes half-written and gathering dust for weeks before she reclaims it. Left-handed, she finds it impractical to write in notebooks, bothered by the unevenness of stacked pages beneath her wrist, and frustrated by the inevitable ink smears as she moves onto the next page.
Her words are slanted, letters rounded and connected, and her handwriting is mostly neat. She applies herself when writing, but when pressed for time, the spaces between words stretch out and her impeccable loops grow deformed. It is easier to accept the messiness that ensues by flipping the page over, out of sight and out of mind. As a teenager, she struggled with notebooks, ripping out pages when the aesthetic of her paragraphs weren’t to her liking.
For plot's sakes, nothing posted here is to be used as IC knowledge unless we've discussed and agreed upon in privately.
E P H E M E R I S
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Jane (DELETED 7768)
- Posts: 3
- Joined: 18 Jan 2016, 14:30
E P H E M E R I S
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Jane (DELETED 7768)
- Posts: 3
- Joined: 18 Jan 2016, 14:30
Re: E P H E M E R I S
Wednesday, January 20th 2016
I repeatedly revisit the first sensations this place elicited. It’s hard to put into words, but it’s as though the increased familiarity only serves to highlight how foreign and new this was last month. I can picture myself seeing many of these places for the first time, no matter how many times I’ve returned. It’s really weird - like an out-of-body experience almost, but also fascinating for change to be so tangible.
The daily dog walking is a good way to discover new spots to frequent. It’s a dog-friendly city, and I’m so used to cleaning up after them that I’m not bothered by it anymore.
I’ve overheard quite a few things are happening in this city, rendering it unsafe, but I’ve yet to see anything for myself. The days are short and daylight scarce. If I didn’t enjoy the little light we got and renounced to fresh air over some rumours here and there, then I’d soon find myself relying on pills again. I don’t want to live that way, not anymore.
I’ve seen quite a few people while on my walks in spite of the horrible weather we’ve had. That’s us Canadians for you, unfazed by a few inches of snow. I really wish people wouldn’t try talking to me when I’m out though. I understand the fascination with animals, but it’s hard enough controlling ten dogs, let alone ten overexcited dogs.
Why do people insist upon small talk anyway? Feeding people unnecessary ******** is the bane of my existence. I think I’ve offended quite a few people by being too honest, but I can’t help myself. I wish I could, it would make socialising a hell of a lot easier. I haven’t met anyone yet. I’m feeling lonely. I try to trick myself into feeling content, but the truth is that I’m bored with my own company. I had really hoped the optimism and excitement of moving to a new place would tide me over until I felt settled, but the truth is that I don’t feel much different at all. The same things that haunted me in Scarborough, haunt me here.
I mean, I guess. I don’t know. I saw a flyer for a dance school. It might be within the budget - there’s something about it that seems expensive, like it’s no ordinary school. I’ve always enjoyed dancing; it never required conversation. I may go see what it’s about. I feel an uncomfortable weight in my stomach at the prospect of going, but I can’t not go. I’m going to challenge myself to something new every... I don’t know. I won’t do something new everyday, I couldn’t manage it. Maybe every month, or week. Baby steps.
It seems so stupid to take pride in such small things - things other people can do without second-thought. I’ve done everything in my power to send things in via snail-mail or electronically, but I’ll have to go and get my driver’s licence amended in person, and the thought of it makes me queasy. I live so close to the centre that I don’t think I need to drive as much; I could simply not get it updated just yet. It’s not like Scarborough is an entirely different country.
The daily dog walking is a good way to discover new spots to frequent. It’s a dog-friendly city, and I’m so used to cleaning up after them that I’m not bothered by it anymore.
I’ve overheard quite a few things are happening in this city, rendering it unsafe, but I’ve yet to see anything for myself. The days are short and daylight scarce. If I didn’t enjoy the little light we got and renounced to fresh air over some rumours here and there, then I’d soon find myself relying on pills again. I don’t want to live that way, not anymore.
I’ve seen quite a few people while on my walks in spite of the horrible weather we’ve had. That’s us Canadians for you, unfazed by a few inches of snow. I really wish people wouldn’t try talking to me when I’m out though. I understand the fascination with animals, but it’s hard enough controlling ten dogs, let alone ten overexcited dogs.
Why do people insist upon small talk anyway? Feeding people unnecessary ******** is the bane of my existence. I think I’ve offended quite a few people by being too honest, but I can’t help myself. I wish I could, it would make socialising a hell of a lot easier. I haven’t met anyone yet. I’m feeling lonely. I try to trick myself into feeling content, but the truth is that I’m bored with my own company. I had really hoped the optimism and excitement of moving to a new place would tide me over until I felt settled, but the truth is that I don’t feel much different at all. The same things that haunted me in Scarborough, haunt me here.
I mean, I guess. I don’t know. I saw a flyer for a dance school. It might be within the budget - there’s something about it that seems expensive, like it’s no ordinary school. I’ve always enjoyed dancing; it never required conversation. I may go see what it’s about. I feel an uncomfortable weight in my stomach at the prospect of going, but I can’t not go. I’m going to challenge myself to something new every... I don’t know. I won’t do something new everyday, I couldn’t manage it. Maybe every month, or week. Baby steps.
It seems so stupid to take pride in such small things - things other people can do without second-thought. I’ve done everything in my power to send things in via snail-mail or electronically, but I’ll have to go and get my driver’s licence amended in person, and the thought of it makes me queasy. I live so close to the centre that I don’t think I need to drive as much; I could simply not get it updated just yet. It’s not like Scarborough is an entirely different country.