Gold Plated {Jersey}

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Clover
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Gold Plated {Jersey}

Post by Clover »

gold plated
ooc: backdated to 27 December 2015

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--
<Clover> Breaking and entering had always been a good way to pass the time, whether she meant to avoid attention, or whether she meant to attract attention. That night, she’d gone out with a mission to collect specific items, among them copper pipes. Clover had dressed more for manipulation than for the sake of blending in with the dark interiors of warehouses and factories. When the guards finally caught her cracking open boxes filled with chemicals, she relied on her dress to get her out of a phone call to police. Twice, she’d avoided the law. Clo couldn’t win every time.

When she went home, her backpack stuffed with items she’d lifted from the buildings in Coastside, Clover hoped Jesse would be back, but her hopes were dashed the moment she set foot in Limbo. Summoning Jersey was more of a quick decision, just a spark in her mind that ignited a fire. She wanted company, and even though Jesse had given her permission to summon him, Clo still refused. He had his own pastimes, and Clover had her own friends. Her own family. And so, standing in the middle of the room, her bag still hanging off her shoulder, she concentrated on summoning her sister.


<Jersey> Jersey had been sitting in the middle of the cabin surrounded by the dogs as she crafted guns, her attention to detail keeping her entertained as she worked easy. Some were powerful, others were decent. Her best had been Evermore, her worst Lineary. With her hair falling over her shoulder in its loose bun, she reached for another tool only to pause and smile softly at the sight of the glistening rose colored ring resting on her finger. It made her giggle, softly, and then collect the tool before she slid on the stock of another barrel. When she finished, Jersey admired the work of Linger and stood up. As always in the cabin, she wore a pair of shorts and a button down shirt left open over her tank top.

She hadn't been expecting to be summoned, otherwise her outfit would have been a little bit more winter friendly. It caught her off guard and green eyes blinked when the cozy warmth of her home was replaced with the unmistakable decoration of the Fforde home. "Hi Clo." She chirped, studying the gun in her hand. "How are you?" She asked, knowing no one else would have brought her there.


<Clover> Success! Every successful summoning left her with an overwhelming feeling of accomplishment. Clo shrugged her backpack off and let it fall to the floor. She listened to the sound of liquids sloshing about in their containers and the cling clang of metal knocking against metal. Once the contents of her bag had settled, she tugged her lambskin jacket back up onto her shoulder and offered Jersey a small smile. The brunette remained quiet, as if her smile were answer enough. How was she doing? Surprisingly well. Unbelievably well. Clover thought that if she admitted her good fortune, she would fall victim to some horrible act--she believed in karma and the idea of balance, to some extent.

Clo nudged her heavy bag toward the crafting table, where she usually left her stray parts and tools. Sadly, others had begun to linger around the table, and that meant she had to clean up her messes. “I didn’t email you back. I thought I could congratulate you in person. Congratulations.” There was enthusiasm in her tone, one achieved from her own good fortune and the fact that Jersey stood right in front of her, looking at her. Her sister was getting married. And Clover had never met the man. Jersey wore an engagement ring given to her by a faceless man. Of course Clover knew his name--Peter--and of course Clover knew how happy he made Jersey. But she’d never met the man. “I’m not going to meet him, am I?”


<Jersey> It had been nice to have Clover be happy for her. Momentarily, Jersey had forgotten that she'd told the woman about her recent engagement, her mind still going over the conversation that she and Peter had before she'd allowed him go back to work. She didn't think there'd be any planning soon, she was too excited. "Thank you." The words slipped past her lips, concealing her relief that there had been no 'aren't you two rushing it?' that she'd been expecting at some point. She held Linger out to the other woman, showing it was a gift. It'd be awkward carrying it around. The blonde held her hand out, showing the rose gold and diamond floral ring out to her sister.

"You don't have to if you don't like to, but we'd like you to be there." It had been discussed the evening before, too. "When it happens." Jersey bit her bottom lip lightly as she considered the last time her half of the family had been around Peter. "Unless you'd like to meet him sooner, so we can just get over any tension." She still didn't know how big of a ceremony that there would be, but she wanted family there. Even if it wasn't everyone. "It'd mean a lot to me." Jersey admitted, frowning, "You know how I was when I was human... so does he."


<Clover> “I’d like to meet him before then. My opinion doesn’t mean much. I’m not crazy enough to assume that it would. I just...I want to meet him and see for myself.” Her gaze lingered on the ring, on the way that the light played across the diamond. He’d picked the ring out just for her, as if he knew everything about her. He probably did know everything about her. That’s what the ring meant. They’d reached the point where they had to assign more meaning to their relationship and to themselves. Clover stared hard at the ring. When it seemed like she could spend hours just staring at the diamond set in the rose-gold ring, she reached out and accepted the gun.

“I can give you parts, in exchange. I mean. I don’t need a gift or anything.” Flustered, she struggled to find the meaning in her words. Clo didn’t know what she was trying to say, or if she meant to say anything at all. Had she felt obligated to say something? Yes. She felt obligated to say something other than the automatic responses she’d had hammered into her own brain. Were they ready for marriage? Were they taking it seriously? Were they aware that marriages fail, and that people fall apart? Were they aware of the waste of time and energy and money? Jersey had been the one to give Clo relationship advice. The lingering advice kept her from voicing such negative thoughts or asking such insensitive questions. “Thanks,” Clo blurted out, motioning to the weapon. “I like collecting different weapons. I still have the first gun I got from Jesse too. It’s...pretty great, like your ring. Not that your ring is similar to a gun. It’s not similar at all. I’m trying.”


<Jersey> "Your opinion means everything to me, Clo. Just because I may not follow your wishes, doesn't mean I don't take them into consideration." Jersey blinked at her sister. It was how she worked, really. She considered everything that others asked of her, that they told her, and did what she chose was right. At that moment, whereas some didn't agree, she listening to herself. It was healthier, better for her sanity. "I'd love for you to meet him." And it was true, she would. "I'll coax him out of the cabin and away from his work as soon as I can." Jersey had been getting better at doing so and not feeling guilty. She didn't really like the idea of Peter sitting inside all the time. It had been easier when they were first together, before the businesses, but they were getting back to what he'd wanted - normal.

"Parts would be fantastic, I keep running out." She couldn't help but laugh, "I'll still pay you for them, though. I'm sure you had something better planned to do with them." The blonde watched Clover for a moment, the quirk of her lips showing her enjoyment, and then she looked down at her ring. "I know, and you're doing fine. I'm still not entirely believing that we're getting married, but... I don't want anyone else to spend my eternity with in that manner." She dropped her hands and then stuffed them into the pockets of her shorts, "Even when we weren't together... we never stopped loving each other. It'll be two years of having feelings for each other in March."


<Clover> Two years. Had it been almost two years? All of their days and nights became a blur. Even with her ability to remember the most insignificant of details, Clo found herself lost. She became like any other person, caught up in the endless cycle of day and night. The days of the week had no name. The phases of the moon made no difference. It had been over a year since she’d been a vampire. And what had she accomplished? Her brows furrowed, Clover looked as if she were contemplating what Jersey had said, but Clo had gone off on a tangent. Her thoughts took her to every place imaginable. While her mind wandered, she began rooting around at the crafting table. She opened drawers and shifted around different parts and tools.

“I can’t believe it’s been over a year,” she finally spoke. Clo, stooped down to root through bottom drawers of the table, stopped sorting through the gun parts and looked back at Jersey. “Some people don’t wait at all. They meet, they spend less than a month together, and they get engaged. They get married. And they divorce. You’ve taken time.” Somehow, her words weren’t as reassuring as she’d hoped. When she turned back to the table, she snagged her bag and began stacking its contents into the emptied drawers. The gun parts then went into her backpack.

“I met Athena’s boyfriend, Cosimo. He’s disgustingly optimistic. I wanted to shoot him.” Clo finally finished packing the parts away and she zipped the main compartment closed. “But he loved her and she loved him. Does she deserve him? No. She doesn’t deserve him at all. She’s cruel to him. And he’d told me he intended to marry her one day. If that’s true, then why not you? Why not someone who isn’t abusive, someone who isn’t cruel? You should enjoy what you have and you should get married. But...after Zach, after what happened with Jesse, I just don’t believe in it. If anyone can make it work, you can?” Clo got back to her feet and offered her sister a shrug, another addition to her lackluster explanation. An excuse.


<Jersey> A chuckle escaped past her lips, "Yeah... I had a moment of disbelief when I reached my first year." Jersey admitted, thinking about it as she followed after Clover and then crossed her arms behind herself. It was a comfortable position, one she didn't mind taking around her sister's presence. "We were together for a year and some odd months before I asked for the split..." It bothered her, but Jersey didn't like to remember that date. At the mention of divorce, Jersey thought back to what Peter had first told her about his first wife. She pressed her lips into a soft frown as she considered it. "I knew I wanted to be with him pretty early on. As stupid as that sounds." Jersey inclined her head and looked at Clo softly as she lifted her eyebrow at the mention of Athena.

"I'm amazed someone could deal with her..." The words slipped out before she could stop herself. Jersey liked Athena, but their personalities were different. Jersey was nicer, Athena was brash. The woman didn't think they'd be friends if it weren't for Clover and as she listened to the explanation, she frowned. "I'm disgustingly optimistic, have you ever wanted to shoot me?" She had to ask, but her tone showed that she was teasing. "You can't control who people fall in love... maybe he sees something deep, deep down that we can't." She had resisted to add another 'deep' and just nodded. She understood.

"I want to make this work. He wants to, too." She moved her hand around and looked down at her engagement ring, at the floral design that had made her smile brightly. "You know... it really isn't marriage that I believe in, it's about the fact Peter completes me. Zach didn't complete you.. ******** didn't even visit you in the hospital. But... I think Jesse does, and the fact that you're happy, that he makes you happy and that you love him - that's what matters, Clo."


<Clover> “I always want to shoot you. I think it has something to do with the fact that you’re right; at least, you’re right most of the time. I guess if he ‘completes’ you, then I have to accept the fact that marriage is just a representation. It’s nothing more than that. I’ve wanted to meet Peter though. I’ve wanted to meet him since I started encouraging you to go after him.” There was a moment where Clo could have commented on the rest of Jersey’s words, but she let the moment pass. She begged the moment to pass. Nice comments about her relationship made her uncomfortable, and she wasn’t sure of the reason. Perhaps it was about privacy or opinions. No, she wanted to focus on Jersey and Peter. Peter, the man who swept Jers off her feet. Was Jersey really that type of woman, the type to be swept away? And did that even matter? Wasn’t happiness the goal?

“I’m looking for something. I need reassurance. You telling me that he loves you and that he’s there for you? It doesn’t do anything. I want to meet him. I want to ask him questions. And I want you to put up with them. Because if he ‘completes’ you, and you ‘complete’ him, then I get to torture you both, at least a little.” She realized too late that she sounded heartless, but she loved seeing Athena squirm. And Cosimo. The man stepped up and made the meeting all the more interesting. So what would Peter do? What would Jersey do?

Clover moved over to a chair and sunk down onto it. She smoothed out the bottom of her dress and tucked the excess fabric beneath her thighs. “I think,” she began, sitting up in her seat to appear more serious, “I think we become so used to being made up of random parts, or we become so used to being whole shapes, that we forget that there are other possibilities. And eventually, we just...we’re not able to find someone, or something, to complete us, because we’ve already decided we’re as whole as we’re ever going to be. It’s just a thought.”


<Jersey> Her eyebrows furrowed, "I'm going to make sure you're unarmed when you meet him." It was a blank statement, but it wasn't because she didn't trust Clover. It'd probably put her at ease. The blonde tugged idly at her shirt lightly. She thought about the last time she'd just asked a family member of hers to just 'talk' to Peter and shuddered, visibly. It wasn't something she could control. It passed and she focused on what Clover had said, a nod being given before she smiled. "It's not my fault you don't listen without putting up a fight sometimes?" Though, she wondered why she gave Clover a gun at that moment and pushed it aside. "I think it'd be good for you to meet him, and... good for him. You both are very close to my heart and well, you're supportive of me."

At the mention of questions, Jersey adjusted to sit on the floor. She was comfortable there, stretching out her bare legs and crossing them at the ankles as she leaned back. "Just please keep in mind that Peter is a very literal individual... and will answer everything very in depth if he feels that he should." There was a quirk of her lips to show her amusement, "And sometimes he's too blunt?" Then again, Clover was too. Jersey sat up and rubbed at her temples idly. What could she say, or do, really? "You've once told me that you felt broken, Clo, but you don't see what I see." A shrug was given.


<Clover> “If he talks too much, I’ll tell him he talks too much. We’ll be fine. You pick when is best for the both of you and we’ll all meet somewhere.” She’d ignored the last portion of Jersey’s words. The fact remained that Clo still felt the same way. Uncertainty blended with her low self-esteem and made a cocktail that left her floundering. Floundering. Yes, that was a perfect word to describe how she felt whenever she had to analyze herself. “You were supportive of me, even when you shouldn’t have been, and you met Jesse. I’ll be on my best behavior. And not to sound like I’m plotting, but,” she stopped, a brow arched, “you realize I could just punch him. If it makes you feel better to take my weapons, then fine.”

Clover knew about Peter, about what had happened to him. Jersey had been the one to share the horror story, and she’d shared the story to make Clo feel better about a similar situation. Both of them had felt helpless. Even if the meeting went terribly wrong, Clo had no intentions of lashing out at Peter, at least not physically. They were words that went unsaid, words that joined a string of optimism that had surfaced far too late. Clo wanted to say that Jersey would make a great wife; she wanted to say that Jersey would look beautiful in a wedding dress. But Clover wasn’t the type of woman. There was a disconnect, a grey area where the deepest and most meaningful words disappeared.

“I made a gun and named it Frankenstein,” she said, her confession out of place. Clo attempted to change the subject. She circled back around to weapons, something she knew and enjoyed.
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Jersey
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Re: Gold Plated {Jersey}

Post by Jersey »

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

<Jersey> “I’ll check with him.” Which would pretty much mean Jersey would end up suggesting a few times when she knew he’d be busy and try to get Peter to bend. She’d been getting better at distracting the man from his work, trying to get him out of the house for something other than work. “And well, that’ll be good. I hope.” She wondered if the library might be the best place… no, that was pretty pointless. A park, maybe? But Clover didn’t like animals. Jersey tried to think of places that weren’t very loud, nor crowded. “We’ll figure out a place, I’m sure.” She smiled softly and then blinked at Clover’s words.

The blonde shrugged, “You’d have to go through me to get to him and I’d probably just pacify you. I may not be tall, but I’m fast.” Afterwards, she looked up at the other woman and pulled her knees up just enough that she could rest her arms around them. “I won’t take them, I’d just ask you to set them aside.” She frowned but pushed any negative thoughts aside. Jersey thought about telling Clover about her nightmares, about the most recent one that had her screaming before she’d awoken. “It’s comforting to know you’ll be on your best behavior.” Her lips twitched softly in amusement, “You’re my family, Clover, fate put us in the same hospital room for some reason. We might as well be there for together and support each other because of it.”

At the topic of weapons, Jersey looked at the gun she’d made. There’d been a few others, but her favorite so far, Evermore, had been given to Kallista. “Did it look like something he’d own?” She asked. “I’d never thought I’d enjoy making guns, but I decided I’m gonna keep the best ones for family and friends, and then sell the others for cheap for younger vampires.”


<Clover> Clover had to believe in fate, at least in certain circumstances. She’d met Jersey. She’d met Jesse. Those meetings couldn’t have been by chance alone. Somehow, she’d stumbled across a greater plan, a pathway that led to the two most important people in her life. She wouldn’t have said such things, not to such a degree, so she just hummed, a hm aimed at Jersey’s words. If they hadn’t been in the same hospital room, Clo and Jers would have been very different people, at least in Clo’s opinion.

“It was supposed to be a gift. I made another one too. I sold it, but I kept Frankenstein. I couldn’t part with it. I really should. I really worked with the accuracy on my second handgun, Patriarch,” Clover thought aloud. “The other two were supposed to go to Vic and Kenny. I didn’t think things would go well with Kenny...and I’d had it for a while. After I burned all of their gifts, I sold her gun. And his gun--I guess I couldn’t sell it. It was hard. It’s still hard. It’s like losing you. And even though I know he’s a dick, and even though you don’t like him, I still hope he’ll call or text, and tell me he’s the old Vic and he wants to hang out at the bar, that everyone wants to hang out there. Kenny, Pera, Kae, Mabel, Dom,” she trailed off, her voice quiet. “I thought burning things would help, but I remember everything. I remember everything. I can’t seem to forget.”

There was a long pause, and then Clover let out a choked laugh, followed by a sigh. By sighing, she’d cleared the air. She’d given herself room to turn the conversation around, as if she hadn’t just spilled her guts. “I think that’s a good idea,” she began, circling back to Jersey’s plans. “It felt good to make the guns for Okoro and Nona, and I make most of my own weapons too. The remainder, I usually sell. I keep the funds for the family. Your idea is a lot nicer. You’re being noble. It’s disgusting,” she joked.


<Jersey> She had never filtered herself around Clover when it came to letting the other woman what she felt about Victor, about the way that he acted having been more insulting and disgusting than anything. She had been nice, of course, around the man, but that was because she didn’t see a reason to make enemies. If he wanted to drown his misery in alcohol, that was his prerogative she supposed. “If he was smart, that would be what he’d do.” She shrugged her shoulders, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, “But instead he acts like a child that doesn’t get his way.”

Jersey crossed her legs underneath herself a moment later as she listened to her sister continue about wanting to forget. It was a topic that she wouldn’t understand, wanting to forget things and it took her a few minutes to gather her thoughts. What could she say to that without it sounding bitchy? “Sometimes it’s best not to forget.” She finally spoke, pausing after a moment, “Even if you don’t want to remember. Rather than forget, just look at it from a different angle and use it to become stronger.” The blonde lifted her hand to scratch at the curve of her neck before she pulled her hair aside so that it wouldn’t get caught in her ring.

“Honestly, if a man is pathetic enough to let himself act like a boy rather than a man, is he even worth it? Was that even really a friendship, or was he just trying to get his rocks off without consequences that blew up in his face?” Her green eyes reflected her curiosity. Afterwards, she fell quiet. The subject changed back to her guns and her plans with them, and she gave a soft nod of her head. Then a soft look was given and she shrugged her shoulders. “I haven’t figured out what to do with the funds. Maybe I’ll split half, Lucas helps with the parts so I’m sure he’d appreciate payment for his college tuition. Jerk might act like an idiot, but he’s very smart.”


<Clover> “It must physically hurt you to say such nice things,” Clover smirked. How many times had someone rephrased Jersey’s words of wisdom? Too many to count. Clover had told herself the same thing many times, or she’d thought the same thing many times. Some people just weren’t worth it; some people just weren’t considerate enough or understanding enough. Clo liked to think that her shrinking circle of friends had something to do with her rising standards. There would be another friend. There would always be another friend. But rationalizing didn’t stop the ache of what she considered betrayal.

“What is he studying? Women’s Studies? Frat parties? Anything related to female genitalia?” Clo remembered how helpful Lucas had been, but she still wanted to tease the man. She really knew nothing about him, besides the fact that he was a smart guy with a penchant for parties. And he didn’t look too bad. Had Clo taunted Jersey with the fact? “He is good looking,” Clo blurted out, voicing her teasing thought. “If I weren’t taken,” she trailed off, a sly little grin overtaking her lips. “Do you think he’s into threesomes, Jers?”

Clo couldn’t help herself. She burst into laughter, the type of laughter that resonated from her core and overtook the room. A real laugh. She’d missed the slight tensing of her muscles and the feel of her lungs expelling oxygen. Normally, she would have recognized her joy and scolded herself for actually enjoying something, for actually enjoying herself at all. Instead, she lost herself in the moment. She cherished the feeling and the thoughts that spurred on her laughter.

“I’m joking. I’m not serious. Well, I suppose I’m serious about him being good looking. He’s very good looking.” There was a thoughtful look, and then she shrugged her shoulders. “He’s also a human. If he weren’t so important to you, and he hadn’t helped me, I would have cut him into pieces and admired him that way.” She frowned, immediately feeling the guilt associated with sharing the such thoughts with Jersey. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I’m sorry.” The brief moment of silence that followed her words was interrupted by the shifting of the chair and the sound of the fabric of her dress. She’d shifted around in her chair, a sign of her uncertainty and her nervousness.


<Jersey> “I don’t feel a thing, sometimes it just feels nice to let them out.” Jersey smiled sweetly, but she leaned forward and set her chest against her thighs. Her shirt smelled of vanilla mixed with the hint of Peter, cat and dog. When Clover mentioned that Lucas was good looking, Jersey shrugged. Even if he was attractive, he wasn’t her type. The two acted more like family more than anything, complete with the male teasing her about her relationship with Peter and saying that she needed to stop collecting cats before she would end up the crazy old lady with fifty of them.

“Probably all three. “ A frown played across her pink lips and she tried to think back about the books on the table she’d included in his rent of her brother’s old apartment. “Journalist with a minor in Occult Studies. I think he was in Danton’s class with me.” Maybe that was where she had met him, if it hadn’t been in Danton’s, it would have been in Calen’s before he left. The frown deepened at her sister’s question, “Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if he did. You’d have to ask him.” But, as Jersey heard the woman’s laughter, the frown dissipated into a soft smile while she lightly ran her thumb back and forth on the smooth metal of her engagement ring.

“I guess he’s good looking, but he can be a sincere pain in my *** and he’s more family than anything.” The blonde sighed in thought, “You know he thinks you’re beautiful. Though, he likes to pretend he doesn’t know your name and makes comments that make me want to punch him. Plans on calling Peter Prof, too.” Her green eyes looked at Clover in mild horror at the next set of words, but she then shook her head lightly. “It’s alright, I know how you are. He’s been there for me for a while. The night I left Peter, I lost my brother and just… bam, there he was. Happy to help. When I died, he looked after Bear and Mew.”

Jersey pulled at the tank top she wore in the back so it wouldn’t be showing skin, “You don’t have to be nervous around me, Clo. I’m not going to attack you over speaking your mind with me.”


<Clover> Jersey knew exactly what to say to make Clover smile, and Clo did smile. The only reason she censored herself was because she knew Jers didn’t care for violence, blood, or gore. Clo tried her best to exclude Jersey from those three things. Sometimes, she failed. Sometimes, she lost control. “I try not to make you uncomfortable, and who knows when you’ll hear something you don’t like, reach out, and smack me,” she laughed.

The conversation could have circled back to Lucas, and Clo intended for it to, but she took time to consider whether or not she wanted to continue to explain herself, since Jers had made it clear enough that there was no need for defending. In the end, she decided against discussing her BTK-like interests. Whenever she talked about those sorts of things with Jersey, Clo thought of Nik. When Clo thought of Nik, she thought of Zach. Zach, her thread to humanity. Normally, she could have fixated on her obsession with maintaining the connection, but she’d moved onto another portion of the chain. Clover remembered how Jesse had reacted to her explanation of the importance of her ex-boyfriend. Clo’s attachment to her humanity upset Jesse, and his reaction upset her.

“He thinks I’m pretty, huh?” Clover forced herself from her thoughts. Even though she didn’t want to smile, she felt the subtle curve at the corners of her lips. “I like him,” she stated, as if it were that easy to accept someone. If he told her to her face, she would have told him that she liked him. Clover had a way of being blunt, at least when it came to the beginnings of friendships; she didn’t like wasting time. In fact, she didn’t want to waste anymore time forcing the thoughts to the back of her mind. Clo had to know.

“Jers, do you think it’s weak to miss being human? Do you think it’s wrong to want to...well, to want to hold onto it for as long as possible?” She chewed on the inside of her lower lip, trying to collect and organize her thoughts. Jesse’s words and his expressions still lingered. He’d really hurt her, whether or not he’d known it at the time, whether or not she’d fully expressed it. “I know I’m a killer. I know how wrong it is. I’m aware. I know it’s contradictory to want to maintain some semblance of humanity, when I’m acting like a bloodthirsty monster. We’re vampires. I should let go. But I don’t want to. And,” she stopped and pursed her lips, “I can’t. I can’t say anything else right now. Just let me know what you think. I just want to know.”

<Jersey> “Normally when you go into violent mode, I just think to pacify you and tackle you to the ground.” She frowned, but spoke honestly. But, Clover was getting better at not being violent around Jersey. Of course, there were a few times where she was positive horror would always cross her features, but she supposed it was better than having to deal either it all the time, right? “I’ll let you know, though, if you ever make me uncomfortable. Hearing is different than seeing.” She chuckled and then brushed her fingertips through a few strands of loose hair to fix it.

When Clover said she liked Lucas, Jersey smiled a bit. Even if he did get on her nerves and enjoy calling Peter various nicknames in reference to being geeky, he was a good friend and he helped her out a lot. Especially when she didn’t know how to say thank you because of it. “I’m glad to hear that, and yes. I hear about it, asked if you were single until I reminded him you were a vampire. Sadly, he had my same answer of ‘why the **** does that matter’.” She laughed, shaking her head.

She rocked back and forth idly as she considered the question, thinking of it was wrong to miss being human. She didn’t see any problem with it at all, honestly. Did she miss it herself? At times. She missed the sun on her face, the chill of the evening when the moon came out. Occasionally, she missed simple foods, but she didn’t think she’d ever miss the fragility that came with being human. She hadn’t really changed, however, from then and now aside from drinking blood. She’d been a bit of a night owl to begin with.

“Just because we're vampire doesn't mean we have to be monsters. Monsters can be human, sometimes making us look tame.” Jersey said softly after a few minutes. She thought about the Paladin staring down at her and unconsciously pushed his cold-hearted grin as it formed in her mind into Clover’s just before the knife pierced her heart, and the memory vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

She thought about what she had been told about paths and frowned, “When we turn, certain traits stand out more. Just because you kill doesn't mean you lack a conscious and I’ve seen you feel remorse. If you want to keep hold of your humanity for as long as you possibly can, do it. Personally, I think it's stupid to just throw it all away. I’d sooner off myself than become so cold hearted than do so. I don't think it's contradictory at all, to be honest. You kill because you’ve embraced your violence, but the simple fact you're seeking help shows that it isn't the only thing that matters.”


<Clover> At first, Clover nodded. She didn’t know what to say, but she felt she had to give some sort of response. Jersey’s words offered her a great deal of comfort, but Clo had expected such a response from her sister. Jersey had a good handle on life. The blonde, despite her struggles with her memory and her past, had a strong hold on the remnants of her human life. Jersey had a good conscience and, as Clo liked to stress, a good heart. That’s why Clo went to Jersey. That’s why Clover asked Jersey.

“It is stupid to throw it all away,” Clover echoed. Despite the fact that she repeated Jersey’s words, Clo lacked conviction. Jersey and Jesse had very different views, even though they both ended on the same note. Clover had control of her own life. She had the choices to make; she had to accept herself. “And if someone,” she stopped and shook her head. A laugh cut off the rest of her words and she had no intention of continuing the sentence or creating the question.

As if no time had passed, Clover returned to thoughts of breaking and entering. Not long ago, she’d robbed a warehouse and lifted a few guns. None of the guns were at the crafting table, for obvious reasons, but she still had them in her possession. She hadn’t sold them for quick cash, and she hadn’t tried repurposing. If Jersey made weapons, then perhaps--well, perhaps she had more use for the parts. Clo stood from her seat and stretched, reaching up toward the ceiling. She acted as if she’d been sitting for well over a century, if only for her own amusement, and then nodded toward her apartment.

“I think I have some guns leftover from a warehouse I broke into. You might be able to break some of the finer ones down into useable parts. I don’t really do much with repurposed weapons. I usually collect the stray parts and start there,” Clo explained.

She just didn’t want to talk about anything else. No more discussions revolving around anything she’d heard from Jesse or thought about Jesse. No more sidetracked conversations about her own issues with morality. Just guns. Gold-plated guns.
it's the way that you know what i thought i know, it's the beat that my heart

skips when I'm with you, but I still don't understand, just how your love can do what no one else can
peter's distraction
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