Knowing Too Much, Knowing Too Little [Lorelai]

[Levi DAmico]

This thread back-dates to Friday 29th May 2015

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

Levi: He tomed into the apartment, acknowledging the blonde with a smile and a slight nod. “Hey,” he said curtly.

Lorelai: Loreali returned home having been to the shops. She hadn’t intended to buy anything, she just wanted to get out and stretch her legs but as it was she’d found a rather nice dress to add to her expanding wardrobe. Once she’d put the dress away in her closet, she made her way back into the front room and settled down on the sofa with her kindle; which was new. She was happily lost in her book when Levi arrived and she immediately switched off the device she held and set it to one side.

“Hello Levi,” she said getting up to embrace him. “Are you staying a while? Can I get you anything?”

Levi: Why was she always offering to get him something when he arrived, did she work part-time as a butler or waiter? Frankly, given the mood he was in lately, he was doing everything possible not to tell her how much it annoyed him when she asked him that. Levi kept the dragon in his thoughts caged behind his gritted teeth and took a slow breath to calm himself, which she might have noticed seeing as how she’d wrapped her arms around him again. Eventually, he responded. “No, I’m good. Not bothering you, am I?”

Lorelai: Lorelai nodded and stepped back before taking both his hands in hers. She twined their fingers and looked up him, her expression adoring as always.
“Oh no. Not at all. I was only reading. I would much rather spend some time with you. Unless you’d rather just rest? In which case I can continue to read so that I don’t disturb you.”

Levi: “Rest ain’t really gonna help,” he grumbled and unconsciously massaged the hand within his own before giving it a squeeze. “Why don’t we just sit down or something, kinda pointless standing around.” He gave her a nudge and began to lead her toward the couch again.

Lorelai: “Oh I wasn’t suggesting we stand all night,” she shook her head softly as she followed him back to the sofa, waiting to see where he sat before seating herself. “Are you all right? Would you like me to give you a massage?”
Lorelai really wasn’t sure what to do with Levi most nights. He blew hot and cold and when he was stressed, she seemed unable to please him; which upset her even if she never let it show. Lorelai liked to please people. It was the way she was raised, but what pleased Levi one night seemed to aggravate him the next. A normal woman would have probably given up trying but Lorelai took each new day as it came and took the fault upon herself, as it was obvious to her that she was deficient in some manner. She believed that if she continued to try, and perhaps worked harder for his approval that he might respond better to her.

Levi: Keeping a lid on his temper was really, really hard. It wasn’t Lorelai’s fault that her offerings were falling on unappreciative ears, Levi was just a grumpy ******** and even worse when stressed. A normal person might have felt the need to accept based on the proposal alone, or at least have declined politely. Levi shook his head and huffed, umber eyes piercing a hole in the wall ahead of them.

Lorelai: Lorelai drew her legs up under herself and folded her hands in her lap.
“What would you like to do? Would you be happier if I left you alone?”
Blue eyes looked him over as she waited to see, what, if anything, he wished to do.

Levi: Umber eyes practically glared at the blonde, one brow cocked like the hammer of a gun. “Why the **** would I turn up here and make you leave?” he asked her without censoring himself. Well ****. “It’s your apartment. I got no right to make you leave.”

Lorelai: Lorelai began chewing rather awkwardly on the nail of her index finger. As always, her hand was cured like a fist, the back of her hand facing away from her as she worked on the nail. It was something she did when she was nervous, and the way Levi was acting was definitely making her nervous. As such she said nothing and simply averted her eyes.

Levi: The silence was consuming and Levi let out another heft of air, bringing his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. Of course he was going to have to make up for that remark wasn’t he. Why couldn’t she just be like all the other bastards he knew which told him to shove his bad temper where the sun didn’t shine? “Sorry,” he grumbled, though he was sure he didn’t mean a single letter of that word. “Just… been a brilliant day at the office.”

Lorelai: She sighed softly, her hand dropping to her lap once more.
“Would you like to talk about it? I don’t mind listening if you do.”
She reached out and took a hold of his hand, squeezing it gently.
“Or I could draw you a bath if you’d like to relax. I think I have some lavender oil that I could add to it which could help to alleviate your stress. It would be good to calm your body and mind.”
She was sure he’d reject this offer like he had the last but she had to try and she did truly believe that the bath would help him to relax.

Levi: Levi quirked a brow again at her offer of a bath. “You know I’m a guy right?” he said, again, not really censoring himself. “Just… quit fussing over me ok? ****…” The impromptu growl was covered by Levi running a hand through his hair and muttering an apology in Italian. “Mi dispiace… I…” he broke the words with another sigh.

Lorelai: The blonde pulled away from him a little bit, shuffling in her spot and shrinking into herself. She didn’t mind the obscenities, she was used to far worse with CC, it was the way in which he spoke that worried her.
“I… I know you’re a guy Levi. I wouldn’t ever question that. But a bath can help the body to relax. The warm water works on the muscles and the lavender would help to clear the mind. I didn’t mean to insult you.”
She went back to chewing on her index finger once she’d spoken. Levi could be difficult at times but she’d never seen him quite this bad before. It probably didn’t help that she didn’t understand his apology and so didn’t know that he’d already kind of forgiven her.

Levi: Levi went back to pinching the bridge of his nose as she went on. She’d have been better of just not saying anything because all she was doing was telling him how he was over-reacting. He knew he was over-reacting, but that’s pretty much the last thing you point out to someone who’s clearly pissed about something. Well, obviously, Lorelai didn’t know that else she wouldn’t have said anything. Levi didn’t know whether to point that out – probably vainly – or just move on. It took him a long while to calm down enough and stop cursing in his head and clenching his fists before he had anything remotely productive to say. “I don’t need a bath, ok. I don’t want a bath either.” Well, perhaps productive wasn’t an entirely accurate adjective… Levi sighed and stood up. “Look, I’m just gonna leave before I upset you… any more than I have.”

Lorelai: “Levi? Why did you come here?” she asked without even a hint of malice. “I only ask as… well… you must have come here for a reason and yet everything I suggest seems to displease you.”
Lorelai wanted to try and make him stay but she wasn’t sure what she could say or do to make that happen. She preferred his company above all else, even if he was in a bad mood.

Levi: Levi was not facing her at that point. He stood some few steps away with his back to her, his head down, a frown wearing heavily on his features as he listened to what she said. When she was finished, he looked over his shoulder at her, that frown having barely lifted an inch. “Just because I come here doesn’t mean I want something from you. That’s not how it works. You don’t have to do anything, get me anything, offer me anything. Just… I just came to check up on you. Like I do.”

Lorelai: Lorelai didn’t like what he said by way of explanation, though she was less keen on the way he looked at her than anything else.
“Do you… Do you only come to check up on me? Is that the only reason you come here?”
She hoped the answer was no. She had hoped that he had feelings for her but it was hard to believe that at times like this. She enjoyed his company and felt safer when he was with her, happier even.
“I don’t believe I need to be checked up upon. I’m a grown, independent woman. I have my own home. I work. I help people. Well, ghosts, but ghosts are former people. They deserve help too.”

Levi: Levi sighed, something angry clutching his throat and making the breath come out as a growl. “Fine. Whatever,” was all he managed before he headed for the door. Surprisingly, he didn’t slam it behind him. Not stopping for anything, Levi made it down to the ground level and headed outside. He stopped at the side of the door and decided that having a smoke here was best because he couldn’t risk punching the next person he saw square in the face.

Lorelai: “I don’t need to be checked up upon,” she repeated as the door closed.
A part of her wanted to chase Levi down and force him to talk to her but a part of her thought it best to just let him leave. He may have come to her home but he obviously wanted nothing from her and so she couldn’t help him, no matter if she wanted to or not.
She picked up her kindle but didn’t turn it on. She stared at the blank screen and sighed. She hated conflict and felt she’d failed Levi. The blonde had no idea how to go about fixing what, she was certain, she had broken. After a few moments of quiet reflection, she decided to reach out to Levi with her mind.
‘Levi? I did not mean to upset you. And anytime you wish to return, you are more than welcome. I do hope you know that.’

Levi: As the nicotine went in, the edge of his rage began to melt away. He’d stormed off because what he’d basically heard from Lorelai mouthing off was I don’t need you to check up on me. In fact, I don’t need you for anything. One might have thought that uncharacteristic of the blonde, but Levi had heard what he’d heard as the blood pounded in his ears and the fire swelled in his belly. Levi was still stewing over the audacity of the woman saying she didn’t need him, which was seriously fucked up seeing as how she conducted herself like a blind mouse. Still, as time went by Levi was starting to calm some. That was, however, right up until the metallic prickling of her telepathy charged into his head and set him on fire once again.
Levi growled under his breath, eyes pinched shut as he had no choice but to listen to her. The last thing he wanted right now was to hear her voice or feel that intrusive pain so it wasn’t like it was all that difficult to rile him up. Once the sound and sensation subsided, Levi threw his cigarette to the ground, stomping on its last breath and headed for the bar near his work.
He didn’t expect her to follow him, but he knew she wouldn’t be able to anyway; he had ways of disappearing after all. Levi was determined; he’d possess a bar stool for the night and discuss the trivialities of bitches with his best friends, Whisky and Scotch. That was until he was too blind and dumb with booze to think or talk any more. Levi didn’t care how he’d get home and neither did he care about the threat of the sun. If the worst came to the worst, Russell the bar kid had the number for his driver and he was a good kid, Levi trusted the little **** was competent enough to get him into a taxi or whatever.
It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that he woke up in his own bed in his own apartment, but even 18 hours after having gone out for a drink and 13 hours since he’d wound up dead-drunk and in the back of his driver’s car, Levi was a little bemused that he’d made it home in one piece. Home was a stretch, but, at least it was his. There was nobody to answer to and nobody to bother him and he could deal with his bone-crunching migraine in the dark, empty solace that was his room.

[Lorelai]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

Lorelai: Lorelai had spent the remainder of her evening reading and wondering if Levi would come back. He didn’t. When the next evening came, Lorelai set about her duties. She cleaned the backroom of High Noon Saloon and then made her way home. She waited at home for a few hours but Levi still didn’t come, so she decided to look for him. First she checked the sewers where she sometimes saw him and then she checked the caverns. Having had no luck, she set out into the night to see if she could be of any use to any spirits. These days she could almost function like a normal person without being overwhelmed by the spectral beings, but only if she sought them out and took control of her gift/curse. The night had passed without incident and without a word from the man with the umber eyes that she adored so much, and so with her hunger nagging at her insides, she decided to go to his apartment and see if he was home. If he wasn’t there she’d likely go to his office but she didn’t like the idea of disturbing him at work unless she absolutely had to.
Standing outside of his apartment, she paused. She’d only been here once and she’d been welcome then. She wasn’t sure if he would open the door this time even if he was home. She didn’t think she’d said anything wrong. She’d defended herself. And yet here she was. Ready to apologise, again.
Her delicate hand shook slightly as she raised it to knock. She was nervous. She rapped lightly on the door and waited.

Levi: Levi had maybe fallen asleep a half-dozen times that night, waking to pain that exploded out of his eyeballs and a dryness of the mouth that felt like he’d been licking sawdust all night. Levi grumbled and pulled the sheets over his head, determined to go back to sleep and dream away the pain. He might have gotten up to fix himself a drink and grab some pain killers, but movement seemed like a very, horrendously, terrible, bad idea. Levi kept his eyes closed, stubbornly breathing hot air back at himself under the covers and groaning now and again when death’s grip refused to take him. Ok, he could settle for sleep, but death would be a week-long, convenient vacation right about now. When he heard the door, which sounded more like his bedroom door, Levi pinched his eyes shut and let loose a low growl. “**** off!” The sound of his own voice seemed a little strange, but the hoarse scraping sound was to be expected when you drink incessantly for 5 hours and scream and shout and vomit. Levi wasn’t aware of much of this, he was only aware of the moment and the sound of the door still knocking before it all suddenly ceased.

Caro, one of his security guards, had escorted the drunken Italian to his apartment and had remained there to make sure he didn’t choke on his own tongue in his sleep. Caro pulled open the door with force and stared down at the blonde on the other side. He was something of a hulk standing in that slim frame with his all-over black suit, but Caro was the shorter and stubbier one of the two trusted hired muscle. Barzetti towered over Caro and was likely the smarter one as well. You might be forgiven for thinking they were the ugly step-brothers of an untraditional Cinderella, but since Barzetti wasn’t there, there was no one Lorelai had to compare him to. Caro grunted at the woman, his black eyes leering out of his skull to check if he remembered her. There was a vague memory of having escorted her and Levi to the man’s office, so he relaxed a little and checked up the hallway before addressing her.

“What do you want?” the man grumbled, his Italian accent much heavier on his words than Levi’s. In fact, it seemed as though his English was probably quite limited.

Lorelai: “Oh…”
Lorelai took a step back when the door opened. She was sure she’d heard Levi from inside but the man at the door was definitely not him and she didn’t recall ever having seen him before.
“I… Do I have the wrong apartment?” she asked as she checked the number on the door. “I was hoping to see Levi. Is he here?”
She was sure she was in the right place, though she couldn’t imagine what this man was doing there. She should have recognised him. She should have realised that he was there to help and protect Levi in some capacity. Her mind even should have assumed that perhaps Levi was working from home and that she was interrupting but it didn’t. All she could think about was getting to Levi and apologising.
She pulled her cardigan around the lemon coloured sundress, keeping one arm wrapped around her stomach as the other raised up, so that she could brush her hair behind her ear. She stood there, nervously, unaware of the stupid hour in which she’d shown up on the man’s doorstep. Vampire’s didn’t seem to pay much attention to such things and since she hadn’t gone to the apartment expecting to find a human there, she hadn’t even paused to think at how this might look.

Levi: “Boss is inside,” Caro grumbled back at her before parroting his earlier question. “What do you want?”

Ever the valiant solider, he wouldn’t let her in without good reason. Levi had spoken about his troubles in the car ride to his apartment, just before he’d redecorated the car’s interior. Caro was also aware of his capo’s temper when he was as hung over as he was right now. Letting the wrong people in to his council was asking for trouble.

Lorelai: “I wish to see Levi. I need to speak with him. And he… he needs to help me with something. Something he usually helps me with daily, and well… today I haven’t seen him. And I’m worried. So please… May I see him?”
Lorelai wasn’t sure what she’d do if the man said no. She had no real strength to force her way inside, though weak as she was by vampire standards she probably was still stronger than the man standing before her. She briefly considered how she might release her thrall from her power and claim this man instead in order to get what she wanted but that idea wasn’t ideal either and she wasn’t sure if she could release Caroline at this distance. She could confuse the male perhaps and hope to slip past him but she didn’t like the idea of using her powers on an innocent. Which really only left her with two options; one, she could send a message to the male’s phone telling him he was needed elsewhere or to let Lorelai in should she stop by or two, she could refuse to leave and possible shout for Levi to come see her (even though she rarely raised her voice).

Levi: Caro’s frown got heavier with her every desperate word and he put his left hand out, palm facing her as if it was the international symbol of calm the **** down. Meanwhile his right hand unbuttoned his jacket, clearing the way to reach for his gun if he needed it. Caro being not the brightest bulb in the box wouldn’t see too much trouble in taking out this woman if she drew too much attention to herself on his capo’s doorstep; he was in the business of making problems go away after all. Still, shooting her wasn’t his first option and he was at least willing to talk around her inane babbling.

“Calm down, bambina,” Caro began in his gravelly voice. “The boss is sleeping. You don’t wanna wake him up.”

Lorelai: Calling out to Levi still seemed like the best idea and yet calling out to him also seemed wrong. She hated to raise her voice unless she really had to.
“Please. I need to see him. Will you go and tell him I am here. He should be awake. He has to be awake. I don’t want to have to… I need him. Please tell him that Lorelai is here and that she needs him to do that thing he does.”
It was the best excuse she had. She couldn’t very well explain to the man that she needed Levi to take away her hunger. The explanation she gave though could easily be misinterpreted as something more than it was, as it hinted at a somewhat intimate relationship. Or could, if someone’s mind swung that way.

Levi: Caro sighed and looked back over his shoulder into the apartment. The boss was nowhere to be seen, still grumbling away in his bed and since Barzetti wasn’t here to confirm any decisions, Caro had to make them for himself. Clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, Caro finally nodded to her and stepped aside to let her through.

“He’s sleeping,” he warned her. “Got blind drunk last night so you wanna maybe take it easy on him. He gets awful angry.”

Lorelai: “Thank you,” she said excitedly as she entered the apartment and headed straight for Levi’s bedroom.
She half wanted the kiss the guy for letting her in but she knew that wasn’t appropriate. It probably wasn’t appropriate to ignore him either now that she passed the front door, but she had not come to see him. Without knocking she pushed the door to the bedroom open and stepped inside, closing it behind her. She shrugged out of her cardigan, letting it fall to the floor and moved to base of the bed.
“Levi,” she said softly.
As she spoke his name she hitched up the skirt of her dress and crawled across the bed to lie next to him.
“Are you okay?”

Levi: Caro closed the door after the blonde had entered and made a beeline for Levi’s bedroom. He wasn’t going to follow after her, however, and sat himself down on the couch rather like he was expecting these four walls to be his tomb. Although he was aware of her connection to Levi, he knew the penalties that might be due should it turn out that his capo didn’t want any visits – which was pretty likely considering his current state.

Levi was curled up in something like a foetal position under a mass of sheets, only his knees couldn’t quite make his chest as that kind of closeness might have pushed whatever he had left in his stomach back out into the world. The Italian grumbled upon hearing the footsteps, as light as they were, and figured it wasn’t Caro who was coming in to check on him. When he heard the voice, felt the pressure of movement on the bed, Levi grimaced.

Memories of the night before came flooding in thick and fast, driving two screwdrivers in through the back of skull. He really didn’t want to see her at all, let alone right now when he was somewhere between shooting himself in the head and sulking into the pillow. Yeah, he’d been stupid enough to do this to himself, but in a lot of ways, Levi was happy to blame Lorelai for it. So at her question, he growled a ‘no’ and muttered some expletives in Italian, things along the line of ‘**** my head hurts’ and ‘**** off’.

Lorelai: Before she lost her child, Levi’s current state would have been somewhat of a mystery to the woman but she grew uncomfortably familiar with hangovers after that event, and so understood a little of what Levi was now going through. She heard the no but understood nothing of the Italian that accompanied it and so very gently reached out and ran her fingers over the top of his head before placing a gentle kiss to his crown.
“I’m going to get you some water,” she whispered.
With that she scooted herself off the bed and made her way into the kitchen to fetch a clean glass and some cold water. She would also look for paracetamol or aspirin or anything else that she thought might help him from his medicine cabinet in the bathroom before returning to his bedside.

Levi: Levi continued to growl like a wounded tiger even as Lorelai left the room. He pulled the sheets back though when she’d left, even if Lorelai would stubbornly pull them back to force pills down his throat. Levi was a terrible patient because even if he knew he needed help, he never actually wanted it.

Lorelai: Lorelai returned to the room, thankful for her vampiric vision as it meant she wouldn’t need to turn the light on and aggravate the already grumpy Italian. This time however, instead of crawling onto the bed, she knelt next to it, placed the water and pills on the side table and then pulled back the covers.
“Levi? I have some water and medication for you. They should help you feel better. Will you take them. Please?”
Her whispered words were accompanied by her hand lightly stroking the outline of his face, her fingers running from his ear and along his jaw before her thumb lightly caressed his cheek.

[Levi DAmico]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

Levi: When she pulled back the covers for a second time, one angry umber eye glared out at her. The rush of cold air was unsettling and despite the darkness of the room, it was lighter than beneath the covers causing him to squint and close his eyes again. He would have turned over, bluntly ignoring her, but he didn’t want any sudden movements. He did, however, casually lie on his back, head on the pillow, grabbing at the blankets to cover him again at least up to the neck. He still had on yesterday’s suit, minus the jacket which he’d thrown somewhere on the floor of his bedroom, but since he hadn’t eaten and had lost a lot of his body’s heat, he felt somewhat like a lizard again. Cold, yet clammy, he managed to open one of his eyes again and glare at the woman.

“What?” he growled. “Why are you here?”

Lorelai: Lorelai sat herself on the edge of the bed as he moved and began stroking his hair like a mother might do to a sick child.
“You didn’t come back. I was worried. You usually come and take my hunger away. And you today you didn’t. Please drink the water.”
She removed her hand from his head and picked up the pills she’d brought, retrieving 2 from the pack before she picked up the glass and offered them both to Levi. He was in a foul mood but that was to be expected; mainly due to the state he was in but partially due to his behaviour yesterday too.

Levi: “You said you didn’t need me to check up on you no more,” he growled, pulling away from her touch. “So what do you expect?” She offered him the pills but he just scowled and looked away. This was the best he could do given his current state, and maybe it was childish, but he’d be damned if he was going to let her mother him and make him feel even more like a brat.

Lorelai: “Yes, I don’t need you to check up on me. I’m not some helpless child. But that doesn’t mean I don’t need you in other ways. Your words hurt me. I wanted you to want to see me. Not just visit me because you felt you had to.”
She explained as best she could and continued to hold the pills and water out to him.
“Please take the medication and drink the water Levi. It will make you feel better I promise.”
She wasn’t going anywhere and she wasn’t going to give up on him. Lorelai might not be Italian but she could be as stubborn as one. Once she was focused on something it was very difficult for anything or anyone to distract her from it.

Levi: Levi scoffed at her comment about not being a helpless child. How ******* ironic, he thought. And here she was fussing over him like he needed her to bathe him and take his ******* temperature. Levi shoved her hand away, denying the medication. He was going to sit stubbornly on his ill feelings. “Well do me a favour and stop treating me like a ******* child. I don’t need you to bathe me and ******* fix food for me or give me anything.”

Lorelai: “I don’t do that to treat you like a child,” she told him pushing the pills towards him again. I “Everything I do for you, I do because I love you. Now please take these pills and drink this water. I will sit here till dawn if I have to, so you may as well do as I ask. This is for your own good.”
And she would sit there too until dawn came at which point she would start to feel sleepy and have to fight to stay awake, but she would do it if she had to. She couldn’t go out without getting burned, but she could at least fight the darkness if she wished to; even if it would leave her tired the next night.

Levi: Levi glared right back at her, pushing himself up the headboard so he was sitting up and more at eye-level so he felt his glare might make more of an impact. “I ain’t taking the pills and you ain’t staying either,” he growled.

Lorelai: “You are taking the pills and I am staying until I choose to leave.”
Lorelai wasn’t usually so argumentative and she rarely, if ever put her foot down, but she knew she was in the right. She knew she had to get him to take the medication if she could. She wanted him to feel better.

Levi: Her uncharacteristic behaviour was catching him off-guard, to the point he had to stop and think about a comeback. It was too easy to fight fire with fire and Levi had a habit of burning houses down with people in them. He didn’t want to upset her, even now, but his pride was more often than not a dictator over his emotions and actions. “I don’t see why those two things gotta go hand in hand,” he grumbled stubbornly.

Lorelai: Lorelai gave a soft sigh, her expression one of concern.
“Levi, please? The only one you are hurting by not doing as I ask is yourself. I don’t like to see you in pain and discomfort. Please just take the pills and drink the water.”

Levi: “I’m a ******* adult. I make my own choices,” was all he managed as once again he pushed down her offer.

Lorelai: “That may be but if I was acting the way you are right now, what would you do? Would you give up? Or would you try and force these pills down my throat for my own good. At least you know I can’t force you to take them. I’m not strong enough. But I can sit here and continue to offer them to you until you realise I’m only trying to help and that this will help you.”
She wanted to curl up next to him, to wrap her arms around him and just lay there in the darkness, but she couldn’t. She still hoped he’d listen and do as she asked.

Levi: Levi rolled his eyes and deeply regretted it; the room continued to revolve even some seconds after. He pinched his eyes closed and rubbed at them, hoping that would relieve some of the dizziness. It didn’t and neither would the paracetamol really. Shiro was a walking pharmacist and never shut his ******* face, so Levi understood what would really help. While paracetamol would take some of the edge off the pain, it was only really fluids that would ease any of his symptoms, that and time and rest. Alcohol being a beast for dehydrating the body, the water would have done a lot more for him than the pills, but Levi was stubborn and he wouldn’t take her help. Besides, in a weird way he needed this pain because it reminded him of his faults, why he shouldn’t drink that much again until, well, he’d forget what it did to him and do it over.

Blanking Lorelai, he reached past her to open the drawer to his bedside cabinet, even if the movement was making his even more nauseous. He took out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter, leaning back into his semi-upright position before lighting up a cigarette. He didn’t normally smoke in front of Lorelai, but that was mainly out of respect for her ****. This was all his **** so he was going to smoke whether she liked it or not. He didn’t have any trouble flicking the ashes over the side of the bed either. “I’m not taking the pills,” he said finally.

Lorelai: He was being stubborn but so could she, so she decided to move closer and literally sit on him. She didn’t care what he did or didn’t do at this point. He was being irrational and she knew it. Careful not to spill the water over him, she palmed the pills and moved to straddle his lap. Her thoughts being that if she seated herself on him, he was less able to ignore her and she didn’t plan on being dismissed quite so easily.
“Please Levi? Do as I ask.”

Levi: “Be ******* careful,” he snarled at her as she pushed his physical boundaries in tandem to his patience. Levi moved his hand away, up and practically behind his head so he wouldn’t burn her with his cigarette. She’d straddled him mid-inhale so he had to direct the exhale away from her as well. Unsurprisingly, his brows were knitted into a serious frown and if he wasn’t afraid of hurting her, he might have shoved her off. So he just stared at her, umber eyes expressing something furious and dangerous that he might well have hidden from her before.

Lorelai: “I am being as careful as I need to be,” she said refusing to move from off his lap despite the look he was giving her. “I love you Levi,” she sighed and lowered her hands so that the glass of water rested on his chest. The clenched fist with the pills rested on her knee.
Turquoise eyes looked into his umber ones as she tried to figure out what to say or do next. She knew telling him she loved him did little to nothing and as much as that stung her, she couldn’t let that pain distract her. She needed to figure out how best to deal with him.

Levi: Levi stewed for a long while after she confessed, yet again, that she loved him. He sighed and shook his should, eyes looking to the wall on his right and then at the wall on his left like someone might have painted an answer for him on one of them. As it happened, he was left to deal with this himself. Umber eyes set on blue again and he hit her with a stern voice. “You need to stop saying that. Because I keep on telling you that you don’t even know who I am.”

Lorelai: “I don’t have a choice Levi. I know it upsets you. But I’m sorry. You don’t get to tell me how I feel. Even if I didn’t say it, I’d still feel it. And it doesn’t matter what you’re hiding from me. Well… perhaps maybe it does. If you were married with a family then I would have stop seeing you. It wouldn’t be fair to them. But I don’t think you are. You come to see me too often for that to be true.”
She wasn’t entirely sure about that last part but it made a strange kind of sense to her. She believed him when he said he worked hard and she couldn’t imagine him having time for much else outside of her and work. Of course he could be telling his wife the same thing and only spending limited time with her too.
“I know who you are to me Levi, and that’s all that matters to me.”
This was true enough. She’d almost said that it was enough, but it wasn’t, she wanted more; how could she not? She loved Levi and wanted to be with him. Whether he realised it or not, they were in some kind of relationship even if it was difficult to define and likely would have been explained differently by both of them if they were asked. He would likely say that they were mere friends, perhaps friend’s with benefits. Lorelai however would have said that they were dating as they did see one another daily and did do things that couples do.

Levi: The more she talked at him, the more he was getting annoyed. As his cigarette smoked idly away, ash crumbling to the floor, Levi gave her a death glare. “If you don’t even know if you can trust what I say, how the **** can you be in love with me? It’s just an illusion you’re inventing in your head. Now get the **** off.” Levi never raised his voice at anyone, more often than not because he never needed to. He could be threatening even in a low volume, which in many ways was a lot more powerful than ranting like a mad man. Levi might very well have been a little bit fucked up in the head, but he was smart and he was calculated. A raving lunatic might lose his cool easily and snap your neck, so it would be over in a flash. A quiet lunatic, meanwhile, could keep the torture going forever…

[Lorelai]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

Lorelai: She lightly shook her head. She wasn’t moving. Last night she’d shrunk away from him and his words. She’d let him leave. Tonight, she wasn’t planning on backing down. If he wanted her gone, he was going to have to forcibly remove her; something she hoped he wouldn’t do.
The blonde did however place the water and the pills back on the side table. She leaned over just enough to accomplish her task and then she turned her attention back to the man before her. She hadn’t given up on her plan to get water into him, she was simply resting it for a while.
“I trust well enough what you tell me. You seem rather to choose silence over lies.”
She moved a little closer to him, inching herself up his lap before cupping his cheeks in his hands and staring into his burning eyes.
“You do not frighten me Levi. If you wish to harm me then you may do so but I’m not leaving. I love you and there is nothing you can do to change that. Generally, you make me happy when we are together. You help me to block out the word around me. I can focus on my own thoughts. On you. And if you wish to tell me your secrets, so that I might know you fully, I would listen. Until then I accept that I can only have the part of you that you wish to share. Do you understand? I have had quite enough of people telling me what I can and cannot do. What I am capable of. Who I am. It is time for me to decide for myself who I am and what I want. So no. I am not going to get off of you and I am not going to leave. I am not going to do a single thing I do not want to do, unless I have my will taken from me. And you do not have any control over my will.”
He didn’t, but Pru did. If Pru had told her to get out, she’d of had no choice but to do what she was told. Fortunately for her, whatever the bond was that she shared with Prudence, it didn’t extend beyond her to the rest of the family.

Levi: Levi wasn’t beyond hitting women and the thought of smacking her upside the head just to get her to shut up had occurred to him on several occasions tonight. But he wasn’t going to hit her, if for no other reason than he didn’t want to give her extra ammunition against him. When she cupped his face, however, he did grab her at the wrists and squeezed more tightly than he should have as he lifted her hands away. He was aware that she was blabbering on, but he wasn’t really taking it in because you don’t stop to focus on the individual droplets of water when you’re being swallowed by a tsunami.

When it seemed like she just wouldn’t shut up though, something snapped in him. He grabbed her roughly by the arms, lifting her up and then pinning her to the bed beneath him. Since Lorelai weighed practically nothing and he’d been honing his strength in the last few weeks, it was no effort at all – even in his current state – to weigh her down into the mattress. It wasn’t lost on him the type of counter-attack she could perform, but she’d always accused herself of being a pacifist so he wasn’t entirely expecting her to do anything in return. Besides, if she did, it would only result in war because he wouldn’t stop until he was dead. He was a ******** like that.

Lorelai: She didn’t struggle as he gripped her though she did wince slightly with the pressure he’d used on her wrists.
“Whatever you plan to do Levi, please just get it over with so we can work through this and get back to normal. I can promise to take whatever it is you wish to do to me but I cannot promise that I will leave when you are done.”
Her words were braver than she felt them. She didn’t like pain but she’d accept it. Levi had issues, she knew this, he wouldn’t be human (in the non-human sense of the word) if he didn’t. She had her own issues but they were unlikely to result in this kind of behaviour. Not unless she were attempting in a more rough and ready manner to seduce him, which was unlikely.

Levi: Levi shook his head, sighed and then released her, pushing himself back against the headboard, only this time he had his one knee up, his left arm sprawled across it. “You talk too damn much you know that?” he grumbled. “I should hate you just so I can shoot you in the face and shut you up for a change.” He wasn’t thinking as he’d said that, he wasn’t even looking at her. Levi’s eyes were covered by his right hand as he pinched the bridge of his nose again. He could feel his head pounding, his chest feeling like a searing bolt of ice had struck him, but he didn’t realise he was shaking at the time. His left arm trembled slightly from its position across his knee, in full view of Lorelai.

Lorelai: Lorelai sat herself up and although she was now unable to sit herself on his lap, she was able to curl up against him. The position she adopted was perhaps a little awkward but she lay her head on the leg he kept straight and brought her arm over it to rest on his inner thigh.
“It’s not that I talk too much, it’s that you do not talk enough,” she corrected him. “Even if you shoot and kill me I will likely return once I escape purgatory.”
She wrapped on leg over his and clung to his side. Of course his words hurt. How could they not? She’d never wish harm upon him and here he was saying he wanted to shoot her in the face. It wasn’t ideal, but at least (as she told herself) he didn’t hate her.

Levi: At the intrusion on his personal space again, Levi looked down at her with a glare. She really just wouldn’t get the message would she. Lorelai seriously did remind him of a love-sick puppy. The bullet to the face might have been a ******* merciful one, really. “Yeah, then be back talk my ******* ear off again,” he commented after she mentioned she would be back if he shot and killed her. He hid back behind his hand, drawing circles against his closed eyes with his thumb and index finger; it seemed to help with the pain.

Lorelai: “I think you’d miss me if I were gone.”
She wasn’t entirely sure that was true but she hoped it was. More than anything she believed that he’d be remorseful for the act if he did kill her. More so if Pru found out. In fact he’d likely be joining her in purgatory if that were the case. Lorelai had no doubt that Pru would strike out at him if he harmed her in any way. Oddly that thought did not settle her, for even if Levi did kill her, she wouldn’t wish for him to die too, not even when death meant nothing to their kind.
“I think you love me too… In your own way.”

Levi: To her first words, Levi just smirked. Still being a stubborn arse, all he could do was compare the situation to living next to a ******* airport. When you finally moved, you’d miss the ear-busting noise and the disruption of the constant over-flight planes for maybe an hour and then you’d be happy you’d moved. It wasn’t fair to think that though. Lorelai wasn’t annoying all the time, or even that much if he was being fair. She just caught him in bad moods, and with the wrong words had set him off. This one she was experiencing now? This was a particularly bad one and it was only in this moment that he’d come to accept the fact that it wasn’t really Lorelai who was at fault here.

Levi let his hand fall back at his side, near Lorelai’s head as it happened; fingers involuntarily disappearing into blonde curls. Her next words made him frown again, but not with the same potency as before, he just thought it was a bit bold that she’d accuse him of loving her. He liked her and had his own special way of expressing that, but love was stretching things too far. Levi didn’t love anyone but himself, truth be told, and he didn’t trust anyone else enough to ever even consider loving them.

“Look,” he began, his voice having softened dramatically. “I was wrong to shout at you. That wasn’t fair. I’m just… fucked up right now. I got a temper. But I wouldn’t shoot you or hurt you for that matter. So… yeah. Sorry. Ok?”

Lorelai: She couldn’t help but smile as he began to play with her hair. He could deny loving her all he wanted and try to push her away but she was sure there was something there between them. Of course, he chose to ignore the more important aspects of the conversation and had even seemed to have slid back to answering something she may or may not have said a few minutes ago.
“I wouldn’t blame you if you did. I’m sure I would have done something to deserve it if you did.”
Yes, she was that sort of woman. The type that took everything upon herself and made excuses for those around her.

“There’s nothing to forgive. I’m just glad that you are okay. Even if you won’t drink the water I got for you. Levi…”
She paused for a moment, wondering for the first time this night if she might not be better off biting her tongue. But she’d come this far and she really wasn’t afraid to continue being quite so honest with him.
“You always tell me that I cannot love you because I do not know you but I want to. To know you that is. You could tell me anything. I would happily listen to you speak if you wished to let me into your world.”

Levi: It was all he could do to keep his cool and ignore her self-defecating words, which, actually made him sound like a monster. Truth be told, Levi was monstrous in many ways. He killed people, tortured them, brutalised them, stole from people, lied and screwed people over almost on a daily basis, but it was kind of difficult for him to hear that she could see a monster in him. The way she talked, she was like a victim of abuse and given their relationship to one another, it was obvious which role he played. He’d been rough and pitiless with her tonight, he’d lost his temper and had her pinned to the bed like he was about to eat her – and not in the kinky kind of way either. A pang of guilt raged against his dying frustrations and he just felt too tired to keep the peace with his inner turmoil right now.

Levi sighed, pushing his head back against the leather headboard which wasn’t really all that pleasant. His patience, or maybe it was more like wilful obliviousness, had paid off, however, as Lorelai was soon to change the subject and speak again. Umber eyes glanced over at her blues with a look of doubt. Getting to know someone took time and a lot of chatting and despite the fact that he wasn’t in the condition to go anywhere, he didn’t necessarily feel like talking either. Despite the looks she might give him, Levi reached over for a sip of water before putting the glass back and confronting her with words.

“So what do you wanna know?” he asked.

Lorelai: Lorelai didn’t comment as he sipped his water. As much as she’d pretty much tried to force him to drink it, she wasn’t the sort to gloat and it was more important to her than he got the fluids in him, than that she was right about the fact that he needed them.
“I’d like to know anything and everything,” she said as her fingers began to trace figure eight’s over the material covering his inner thigh. “Anything you wish to tell me. I honestly do want to know you. Though… if I have to choose a question… I suppose I’d ask what it is that you actually do for a living? You have someone standing in guard in your front room. They almost didn’t let me in to see you. I wouldn’t have hurt him of course but I’d of found a way around him if I had to.”
Lorelai was displaying a certain kind of confidence she didn’t usually seem to have tonight. Levi didn’t need to know the lengths she’d of gone to, to get to him and while she never would have hurt the male intentionally, she wouldn’t have been above asking Pru to come help her get him out of the way if she grew desperate enough.

[Levi DAmico]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

Levi: For him to tell her anything and everything was a big ask, especially considering how fucked up he felt right now. He sighed first off, running a hand through his hair and only know realising that it had stuck up at weird angles. He wasn’t that vain, but he did want to look a bit presentable in front of her so he made the effort to comb his hair back with his hand as she talked on. He was soon stunned still as she mentioned Caro, the guard in the front room. Frankly he’d forgotten that the man had brought him in, he didn’t expect him to stay and babysit him. On the other hand, Lorelai shouldn’t have been that surprised by the presence of hired muscle around the Italian. She’d seen what the people in his life were capable of, so why not keep up your defences?

Levi sighed eventually, letting his hand fall back to her and play with her hair again. It was a lot better than fighting with his hair to make those tufts of black stay still. “That’s Caro, who’s in the living room,” he grumbled. “And I’d appreciate it if you don’t **** up my security in anyway, ok?” He looked down at her waiting for some kind of acceptance and agreement and then he continued on with talking about his work. “Why do you wanna know what I do for a living anyway? It ain’t exactly interesting. I head two firms, one in logistics, the other in consultancy.”

Lorelai: “Why don’t you wish to tell me?” she countered, ignoring the question as to his security guard for just a moment.
She was sure that Levi knew by now that she didn’t ever raise a hand to anyone. Granted, he’d seen her with bullet holes in her body but she’d never initiated the conflicts and she thought he knew that.
“And I would never hurt another living being Levi. Not intentionally. Not in self-defence. That’s not who I am. However I might have tried to confuse or trick him. Or simply slip past him. I may be weak compared to many of our kind but I am sure that I can outmanoeuvre a human if I had to.”

Levi: Levi frowned, not sure where she was going with her question. As far as he was concerned he’d told her what she wanted to know. She was back on the bandwagon of Caro’s existence though, going on about how she never hurt people and blah, blah, blah. It was hard to listen to her repeat herself when his head was hurting this much and he was only just coming down off his rage. “I don’t know what the **** you’re asking right now, gotta say,” he said finally, coming clean. As far as he was aware she wasn’t asking him anything, so how was he supposed to respond?

Lorelai: “What didn’t you understand? You know I don’t hurt people. And well I know you have businesses but telling me about logistics and consultancy means nothing to me. I have no idea what you do. Or why you require bodyguards. I don’t know who your non-uncle really is. Or why I was taking that time by those men. They wanted to hurt you but I don’t know why? It all has to do with your work. I know it does. Do you wish for me to search the internet for information on you? Because I could. I’m sure I could get into a number of government systems if I had to. I haven’t. Not yet. I’ve been waiting for you to tell me. Only you never have.”

She tried to keep her tone even, to keep her words neutral. It hurt her to think that Levi kept secrets from her as the only reason she could think for this was because he didn’t trust her. Even Pru trusted her enough to tell her real name and she didn’t think Prudence trusted all that easily either. But Levi was particularly withdrawn about certain subjects and areas of his life and as much as Lorelai could respect the fact that she didn’t have to know everything, she couldn’t stand being chastised for not knowing him when that was entirely his fault.

Levi: Yet another torrent of words; Levi sighed, trying to hold onto his patience. How long had she been holding onto this that she had to unleash it now? Mio dio. He couldn’t see how anything she’d had to say prior to now had much connection to the barrage of questions and accusations she was throwing at him, but at least he was willing to let that go and focus on deconstructing the wall of words one brick at a time.

“Ok. I’m gonna start from the bottom and work my way up,” he said with a bit of a heavy breath and he reached for the glass again. He took a sip, but didn’t return the glass to the table, letting it rest against his abdomen because he was probably going to need more as he explained. “If you’re gonna run a background search, you’ll find exactly what I’ve told you… but, maybe some other things I ain’t mentioned that, to be honest, I don’t need to bring up right out of the blue. But, I figure it might explain a few things now…”

Levi paused to sigh and rub the back of his neck. “Search me and you’ll find a brief snippet about my father. See, I come from a long line of businessmen in Italy. When **** happened to the economy in Verona, my family moved to Boston. My dad had to start his business up from scratch basically, but nobody likes a foreigner making money in this country. He was set up and sent to prison on racketeering charges. He’s doing forty-five years in the Massachusetts Correctional Institution right now.”

Lorelai: Had Lorelai a dirty mind, she might have sniggered as he began his explanation, as there was something to be said for starting at the bottom and making ones way up. Lorelai however, didn’t think this way and so just sat quietly as he began to speak about his father.
“You know I could look into your mind as well. I don’t need to just rely on what I read over the internet.”
Lorelai shifted so that she could look at him better and so now sat at a right angle from him with her body laying across the bed, her head still on his lap. Now she was able to watch him as he spoke.

Levi: Levi rolled his eyes. “Well thanks for that. Good to know where we stand,” he grumbled at her. Levi shifted to reach for the pills she’d set down, moaning internally that there were only two and they were just paracetamol. Codeine would have been sweet to tell the truth. It was really hard to stay angry and confrontational when you were high on codeine and couldn’t feel all your aches and pains. Two of those and he would have been happy, four and he would have been happier because he’d be asleep. Nevertheless, Levi knocked the pills back with a gulp of water then looked down at her.

Sure, he had no right to be angry at her for not believing a word he said, but he couldn’t tell her the truth. Even if by some miracle she didn’t outright hate him for what he was, all she had to do was open her mouth to the wrong people and that was it for him. The less she knew the safer she was and the safer he was too, but even disclosing that piece of information would no doubt open up a can of worms. There was no scenario in which he was going to come out of this on top, with everything intact and with Lorelai satisfied. Levi had to surrender something here.

Lorelai: “Where we stand with one another would be an entirely different question and while that is one that I would also like an answer to, I do believe you were explaining to me what you do for a living. You did tell me once that I shouldn’t look in your mind and I won’t do it on purpose. But I can’t promise that I won’t do it by accident.”
She explained what she felt she had to and then fell silent as she waited for him to continue.

Levi: “I already told you what I do for a living, Lorelai,” he said, anger leaking easily into his tone. “I’m a businessman, like my fathers before me. I head two firms, one in logistics and one in consultancy.” He watched her expressions then, wondering if it would jog her memory or if it was more that she needed an explanation of what these things were. He knew that Lorelai was from a small farming community, but she’d been in the world long enough to know what logistics was about and consultancy, well, did he really need to spell it out?

Lorelai: “And I already told you that that explanation means nothing to me. And that doesn’t explain the rest of it. Why you have bodyguards? Why I was taken? Who Gino is? I may be a simple girl Levi but I don’t think I’m entirely without brains. I know what you do can’t be entirely legal. You won’t talk about it. You need protection. And the man that took me… He said that you weren’t a very nice person.”
Once more she fell silent. Only this time she looked away too. She felt like she was accusing him of something and that didn’t sit well with her. Lorelai did love Levi. She didn’t like thinking the worst of him. Everything her kidnapper told her might have been true and if it was, she wasn’t sure how she should feel about that. She wasn’t sure how to reconcile how she felt about Levi with him being so… well… cruel. Of course she’d dated a killer before. CC made no bones about who and what she was and Lorelai had still been able to love her.

Levi: “You think I’m some kind of criminal, is that it?” he asked, something dangerous lurking in his tone and behind those umber eyes of his. Of course it wasn’t just a physical threat to be worried about here and if he was a criminal, was it really that smart to accuse him so openly given they knew just how Lorelai felt about them? The worst it could be was that he was Cosa Nostra, and that was exactly what it was. Levi was a capo, meaning he had some sway in the way his Family ran and how the criminal underworld ran too. If he was malicious enough, he could see to it that whole generations would be ruined, or worse, disappear. He would never want to drag one of his worlds into another but people were starting to force his hand.

Levi growled and averted his gaze. He could come clean here, this was one of the most perfect opportunities to admit it: yeah, I am a ******* monster. On the other hand, there was still that worry eating away at him; what would Lorelai do if she knew who he was? It wasn’t long before he started pinching the bridge of his nose again. If she’d said anything in those short moments, he wouldn’t have heard her at all. Levi was lost to the wolves in his head as they picked apart any idea of shedding the **** and being straight with her.

Without warning, Levi got up and stomped to the bathroom, locking the door behind him – however vain the attempt might be. Despite appearances he wasn’t entirely running from his problems, but it had been about 11 hours or so since the last time he’d had a piss and frankly, he’d drank a lot in the previous evening and felt like a ******* race horse. He was gone about three minutes, ignoring any attempts she made at trying to chat because he kinda felt that was weird at the time. The air in the room was still pretty tense on his return, but Levi had to just settle with it as he sat on the edge of the bed, back to her.

Lorelai: Lorelai wasn’t sure what she was accusing him of. She just wanted to know him better and if that meant finding out he was a criminal then so be it. Before she could collect her thoughts however, he was up and out of bed. The blonde hadn’t been expecting the move and so was surprised when her head hit the mattress.
“Levi… Are you coming back?”
She asked this as he locked the door and having gotten no reply she simply stayed where she was and considered what she’d said. Then what he’d said. And that was when it struck her. He likely was a criminal. She vaguely remembered CC having a type. She justified her killing by killing what she herself would call wrong doers. It was how she’d calmed Lorelai at some point. At least this was how Lorelai recalled it.
When Levi returned, he didn’t get back into bed. The way he now sat was almost defensive. Unable, or rather unwilling, to allow him to put any further distance between them Lorelai crawled over to him, sat herself up on her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck, placing her cheek against his.
“If you are some sort of criminal,” she said using his own words, “you could tell me. I can handle the truth Levi. I know your way is different to mine. It seems everyone’s ways are.”

Levi: Feeling her wrap around him like a koala didn’t entirely help his mood, but he allowed it. He slouched a little, not just from the weight of her, but from the weight of his thoughts too. The wolves were still barking warnings in his head, but he blew them away with a sigh. “So what makes you think you’d understand anything I could say about it?”

Was that some kind of confession? Well whatever it was, he soon found him wanting to bite off his own tongue. The least he was expecting now was for Lorelai to recount a tale from her past with CC. Yeah, he remembered what she’d told him about herself and he had to figure that if CC was going to tell him – a complete stranger at the time – then it was pretty damn obvious that she would tell her lover too. She’d told Lorelai her real name after all, which seemed far more personal and precious because she hadn’t mentioned it to him.

[Lorelai]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

Lorelai: “I never said that I would understand anything about it Levi. I said that I could handle the truth. I want to know you and if that means accepting the good with the bad.”
She pressed her lips to his cheek. Whatever the truth was, she’d find a way to make her peace with it.

Levi: “Then what’s the point in talking about it?” he rumbled back at her. Again, not agreeing to anything, but not exactly denying it either.

Lorelai: “The point is for you to tell me the truth of who you are. You can’t tell me then that I don’t know you. I want to know you. I want to know everything. I told you that already. Please Levi. Explain it to me. You can explain the things I don’t understand. If you want to that is.”
She continued to hold him as she was even though she wanted to seat herself on his lap. There were times when Lorelai could be freer in the darkness. It was easier for her to admit the truth if she didn’t have to look the person she was speaking to in the eye and she half suspected that this might be the case for Levi too, what with the way they were now.

Levi: Levi didn’t notice it entirely, at least not at first, but with his souring mood and mixed feelings, the room had been getting steadily darker. Ordinarily he had no trouble seeing in the dark, his eyes had adjusted to very low levels of light so even though they had the lights off and the door and windows closed, that didn’t mean that light hadn’t leaked in from the corridor or the living room. It was the true pitch blackness, where there was an absence of light, that even Vampiri eyes struggled to see in. It started at the edges of the room, as it always did, like a creeping shadow just outside your view. Something unnatural and foreboding that lurks in the most remote places, its presence threatening to reach out and make contact.

Umber eyes stared off into the corner of the room where the shadows were thickest, where no light could wander. He saw it shudder and flicker from time to time, like an inverted flame, but he was content to believe he was simply seeing things. This hangover was a *****, and barely eased by the row he was having with Lorelai. She was pretty much begging him to come clean, but he couldn’t see the point in it. He’d said as much to confirm what he was without really saying it and explaining something you couldn’t talk about was, well, messy.

“I can’t,” he said finally, his voice barely a whisper because he was basically telling her what she never wanted to hear. Because of the way he made the rules, because he decided that love depended on knowing someone and understanding them truly and deeply, in refusing to tell her anything about him he was putting a dagger in the heart of any future they might have had together. It was cruel, he could admit to that, but what could he do about it? He might have been able to manipulate the shadows, obscure things, but that didn’t make it any safer to discuss such a delicate matter. And again, he couldn’t even explain why he couldn’t explain.

Lorelai: “You can. You just don’t want to,” she told him as her grip around him tightened.
The darkness about them had grown unnaturally think and she knew it was his doing, she’d seen it before in his office.
“Levi. Whatever you are doing you need to stop it please.”
She moved herself, so that she was off to one side of him, using touch as her guide rather than sight. When she was in a position where she could more easily manipulate him, her hand (which had never left his neck) moved to touch his face. Once she knew more accurately where he was, she leaned in and kissed him.
“You don’t need to worry about this. About me.”
She could only attribute the shifting change in the atmosphere to the conversation. What they were talking about was making him angry or upsetting him. She wasn’t sure what it was. A small part of her wondered if he was perhaps frightened to tell the truth for fear of losing her. This likely wasn’t the case but it would at least mean that he really cared for her if that were true.

Levi: Morose was putting it mildly at this point, making the gloom richer. Lorelai seemed to struggle to move about, keeping hold of him as she shifted in case she might fall off the edge of the world. The bed wasn’t that tall, but hitting your head on the table might have been a bit of a *****. He found the irony in her words, comparing them to earlier when she said she was fed up of people telling her what she could and could not do, but he wasn’t going to remark on it. He just sighed, umber eyes still finding something like peace in the darkness and his thoughts slowly congealed.

Lorelai was nothing if not determined, however, pulling his face to hers and kissing him like that. He frowned, his lips unmoving and he backed up a bit to give them some room as she spoke to him again. She might not have thought he had to worry, but he did. He wasn’t sure she could be trusted and regardless, he couldn’t say a word. “Trust me,” he said, although he knew how ******* poignant those words were right now. “I can’t say ****. Doesn’t matter where we are, you never know if people are listening.” He looked her in the eye when he said that, hoping she’d understand, though he didn’t really hold onto too much hope. This was not something the farm girl could ever grasp and why would she? No gangs had ever popped up in Hoshkosh he was sure.

Lorelai: “You can tell me anything,” she began before reaching out with her mind.
This time felt different. The connection was stronger but she couldn’t quite explain it.
‘Can you speak into my mind?’ she asked, this message being the one she meant to convey.
‘Oh how I wish you could speak into my mind. It would make things so much easier for the both of us. Perhaps if I concentrated more I could read his reply?
You wish.
Shh. I’m thinking.
I know. If you concentrate any harder on this one of two things is gonna happen. We’re going to get a headache. Or his brain is going to explode.
Oh. That couldn’t happen could it?
Erm… What you asking me for I don’t know. I was trying to be funny but well… you never know.’
Without meaning to, Lorelai had created a stable connection with Levi; one that seemed to leave her own mind unguarded, either through lack of practice or design. The blonde however was unaware that her internal monologue had also been heard by the male.

Levi: He felt that all too familiar tingling in the back of his brain, like something was trying to crawl its way in. Given the pressure in his head already, any unwelcome visitors might have well have made his head explode. Was she seriously going to talk into his mind given he had a migraine? ****. Levi squeezed his eyes closed, but the pain never really got any better when he did that. The body was fucked up like that, some survival instincts being just daft. Though it was probably true that Lorelai didn’t know what the **** she’d done given she was having conversations with herself. Levi already thought she was a few marbles short of a full bag, but wow.

“You know, I can actually ******* hear you, so, if you wanna drop the talking to yourself thing, that’ll be great,” he said out loud, or rather he meant to. He had no idea how this power of hers would work and how it might open up his thoughts to her. She might have actually just heard him thinking about how she’d lost her marbles and seriously, ******* ouch. The head.

Lorelai: ‘What does he mean talking to myself? He can’t hear me unless I want him to. Can he?
Seriously?! Why do you always expect me to have the answers? I’m you. Remember?
I know. But… Well…
Yep. If he’s hearing this you’re screwed. He’s going to know that you talk to yourself. Haha. He’s going to know you’re crazy.
I’m not crazy. This is normal… Isn’t it?
Again. Asking the wrong person here. Ask lover boy there.
Shh…
Oh yeah… Oops. Oh hey this means I can finally say what I want…
Lalalalalalalalalalalalala. Think Lorelai. Think. Drown it out.’
Lorelai crawled away from Levi as she drown her conscience out. It was rather more opinionated than she was and she wasn’t sure she wanted her subconscious or whatever it was talking for her. The poor girl was so embarrassed that she actually crawled off the bed and tried to hide herself against it.
‘Please don’t embarrass me. Please?’ she implored herself.
‘Levi? Please try. I can hear… something… if I can keep my own thoughts quiet that is. What… What is that? It’s like white noise? But really loud. And painful… Ow… Why does my head hurt?’
Lorelai had one hand clinging on to the bedsheets, while she brought the other up to cover her head, as if that action might protect her to from her own thoughts, or power.

Levi: As the two voices of Lorelai warred inside Levi’s heavy head, umber eyes clenched tighter and two hands came up to hold his hears. Though, of course that didn’t help. He might have perceived sound, but it wasn’t something as vocal or as physical as that. Lorelai’s powers had seemed to have spun out of control, projecting her thoughts to his and his to hers, only Levi couldn’t think much further than about the pain in his head, the overwhelming noise and chatter of two conflicting, but twin voices echoing off the inside of his skull. He didn’t form words exactly, just grunts and expletives as that came naturally to the Italian. Also, when he was stressed, these kind of things happened in his native tongue too, meaning that even if he was to think something in words, Lorelai probably wouldn’t have understood it.

As the internal arguing subsided somewhat, Levi heard Lorelai’s voice again, only it didn’t come in tandem with the other. Of course, Levi always suspected that Lorelai was crazy and that she probably had every right to be, but still, it was a bit much for him to experience what he had first-hand. As she implored him to try, two furrowed brows tensed even more and he forced his eyes open to look for her.

“Try… what?” he grumbled.

Lorelai: She couldn’t or perhaps wouldn’t look at Levi. She was almost certain that he’d heard her talking to herself worse, she feared that her conscience might actually say all the things it had in the past; things that would leave her feeling mortified.
‘Try thinking. To me. Something specific. All I hear is strange. Garbled. Painful. Think. Think clearly. Don’t say it. Think it.’
She instructed him in short bursts as she fought to pick anything coherent from his mind.

Umber eyes glaring, frown stinging in his brow, Levi forced a sharp breath through his nostrils and sat back straight, letting his hands drop by his side. It wasn’t easy what she was asking.

‘Think clearly, huh. Just like that?’ he thought and grumbled. ‘Kinda difficult to do when you spent a whole night on the bottle…’

‘Oh!’
Lorelai peeked out from under her hands as the white noise cleared a little to let his voice through.
‘It works. You can do it.’
Lorelai buried her face in the duvet and smiled to herself, because she wasn’t entirely sure whether or not she was strong enough to maintain this kind of connection. She was oddly proud of herself and had to stop herself from talking to herself again.

Levi: Levi quirked a brow. “What worked?”

‘I heard you. Like you are hearing me now. In my mind. You said it was difficult to think when you had… what was the phrase you used… been on the bottle? That means drinking? Is that correct?’

Levi found himself growling under his breath, displeased by the fact that she could hear what he was thinking. ‘Not sure I like that you can hear my thoughts,’ he grumbled. He knew he had to be careful now. ‘As far as I’m concerned, this **** is dangerous.’

Lorelai: Lorelai crawled across the floor to sit by Levi’s feet.
‘It means you can tell me what you do. Without anyone hearing. And… it’s like talking. But more… secure. I like this. This is far better than any phone call. I wonder what the limit is? I might be able to talk to my family.’
The blonde looked up at him, her features bright, her eyes shining with excitement.

[Levi DAmico]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

Levi: Levi sighed as he watched her sitting at his feet, still more of a puppy than a cat. ‘Nah, see, it’s far worse than talking. You’re not sure what you’re gonna hear. Some thoughts… they’re not even worth the energy producing them and that’s why we don’t say em. I wouldn’t want ya to latch onto one of them and get the wrong idea.’

Lorelai: ‘I don’t hear anything else from you. It might just be me. I’m not very good at this…
Yeah you got that right.
Shhh…’
Lorelai looked away in case he heard her speaking to herself again. It was embarrassing but she didn’t think she could say anything that would cause him to stay mad at her for very long. Everything she thought could be explained.
‘Perhaps I just need to practice,’ the thoughts were soft as she stared at the floor. Not that she could see all that much in the darkness.

Levi: ‘Well, feel free not to practice with me in the future,’ he thought back at her, skipping any focused thoughts on her talking to herself again. ‘So you want me to tell you about my work, right?’

Lorelai: ‘Please don’t be mad at me. I like this. And you were worried that people might hear what you say…’ she sighed ever so softly. ‘And yes. I would love to know about you work. What you do. Who you are.’

Levi: ‘I’m not mad. I’m just… aggravated. Not necessarily at you. You just happen to catch the end result; me grouching.’ Levi paused to sigh and frown some more, his eyes averting so not to look at her. Like, perhaps that would help him think. ‘I’m not really sure how to begin explaining or even if I should. I’ve never had to before. People either knew right off the bat or they were never meant to.’

Lorelai: ‘I didn’t think that I was ever meant to be what I am now…’ A lot of sorrow filled her voice as she said this. ‘And yet I am. You can tell me Levi. I want to know you. The real you.’

Levi: Levi grunted, shifting some. He was uncomfortable and he didn’t like being asked questions he couldn’t escape. His mental discomfort was expressed easily when he was too tired and too much in pain to bother trying to put a lid on things. Levi got up, walking across the room, his thoughts solely on flicking the light switch on and filling the large cold space with bright, cold light. He was squinting under that light, made worse by the fogging in his head and the fact that his eyesight was now ridiculously precise. It was like he’d just been stabbed in the eyes with two hypodermic needles, but bringing light into the room seemed to be appropriate. If he was going to be shining any light tonight, this was the least he could start with.

‘The guy in the living room right now,’ Levi said, making a small gesture with his head to indicate the door behind him that led to the corridor into the living room. ‘That’s my bodyguard, one of many people who work for me under my banner as capo for the Mafia family of Boston. So yeah, appreciate it if you don’t **** with him in anyway.’

Lorelai: Lorelai watched him move, glad that he seemed to be more responsive now.
‘Okay. I understand bodyguard. But what is a… capo? Mafia means you are a criminal… I’m sorry. I don’t know a better word to explain it. You do things that are considered illegal. And I would never want to hurt him Levi. I just needed to see you.’
She looked up at him from under her lashes wondering just how illegal his activities were.

Levi: Levi shrugged his shoulders at her apology, resisting the urge to roll his eyes because it would basically kill him. They had more important things to discuss than past events like her wanting to see him and **** like that. ‘I guess you could say I’m a criminal, yeah. And as for capo? It basically means captain. I control my own group of soldiers, my own businesses, **** like that.’ Levi shrugged again. He could hardly believe he was being this blunt and so casual about something he could be killed for. The least Lorelai could do was shun him for what he was and even if she didn’t, Levi had a feeling she would somehow let this information leak. She might not ever mean to, but, **** happened a lot to the damsel.

Lorelai: ‘Oh.’ After she straightened the skirt of her dress out over her knees, she wrapped her arms around her legs and then raised her eyes to look at him again. ‘So… I don’t really know what to say. Or what I should ask. Would you tell me now what your businesses are? What you really do?’

Levi: ‘I do a lot. Not sure we have the time to chat about the details. Not sure I fancy it either,’ he sighed, feeling his energy drain from standing just this short amount of time. ‘I do have those businesses though,’ he started, trying to sound a bit more enthusiastic. ‘Logistics and consultancy. You have to have the kind of… legitimate businesses in my line of work.’

Lorelai: Lorelai nods.
‘So your businesses are legal. To an extent. But you do things that are illegal. Things you do not wish to talk to me about. Is that… Is there a reason for that. Because we could make the time. Another night. If you were willing to tell me.’
Unsure of just how much she should push him or what more she should ask, she falls silent for a moment. The voice of the man that kidnapped her several months back replays in her mind, but she ignores it. Levi was not a monster. He had to be lying. She knew you could do bad things and still be good, as she herself had done things that were illegal.

Levi: Levi sighed. Like any normal, rational and law abiding individual, Lorelai’s focus on what was legal and what was not might have been perfectly acceptable behaviour. Those kind of thoughts never occurred to Levi, however. In fact, he wasn’t even sure when the lines between legality and morality were blurred. He was careful enough to not get caught for breaking any kind of laws, but, that didn’t mean he wasn’t committing them on a nightly basis.

‘It’s like I said. I focus on my businesses. Anything else is **** I have to do on account of orders.’ He shrugged again, not really liking this conversation and suspecting that she was probably getting uncomfortable too. He didn’t like not knowing what her problem was however, so he figured he would just come out and ask her. ‘So what’s troubling you? What are you trying to ask but not ask?’

Lorelai: Lorelai blinked. Levi was far too perceptive and while she didn’t wish to hide anything from him, she wasn’t sure if she really wanted an answer to the question enough to ask it.
‘You have to obey what you are told to do,’ she nodded to herself, buying herself a little time. She knew how that felt and she wondered if he had any more choice in the matter than she did when Prudence told her what to do.
‘I… I’m sorry. I don’t want to ask but… When I was taken… That man… The one that was in charge of the others. He said horrible things about you. He told me that you were a monster.’

She said the words but no actual question was asked. It was of course implied in the way her voice waivered on the last word. Monster. It could mean so many things and she was sure that she didn’t want it to be true. He couldn’t be. He was… He wasn’t a monster to her.

Levi: Levi watched her with calm, albeit stern eyes as she stalled. When she did finally say what was troubling her, umber eyes shifted their focus to the floor ever so slightly. She’d been holding onto questions about him for a while. Well, it was only normal. Levi didn’t like to talk much and he especially didn’t like to talk about himself. He never really did explain why Gino’s men had taken her that night, but this was the first he could remember about her questioning whether he was a monster or not based on what Michelle Antonelli must have told her.

‘Monsters are in the eye of the beholder.’ Levi let his thoughts cross over to hers in a low, sullen tone. ‘And a lot of people like me, in this kind of world, they can be monsters.’ He shrugged again then, letting a sigh loose, deciding not to run from it as he looked her square in the eyes. ‘I ain’t no saint, that’s for sure.’

Lorelai: ‘The man that took me. Was he a captain too?’ she asked, glossing over him being any kind of monster. He didn’t seem to want to give her details and she wasn’t entirely sure if she needed to know everything all at once.

Levi: ‘Antonelli?’ Levi asked with a look of disbelief. ‘No. He was a soldier really, though, that’s a bit… not really explaining anything of what he was. He was one of Valachi—Gino’s, employees.’

Lorelai: ‘Do you know why he took me? I know he wanted to hurt you and believed that hurting me would do so. But… What how would that benefit him? What would hurting you do?’
She still didn’t like the idea of anyone trying to hurt him and even though he was talking about a family that seemed to be structured like an army, she couldn’t imagine why hurting him would ever be necessary.

Levi: ‘There’s a long story attached to that one, Lori. And it chases its tail between here and Boston, between secrets that have to be kept from one another. Gino was checking up on me, he sent his best man to see what I was up to and his best man fucked up and overstepped his mark… apparently.’

Lorelai: ‘Did he hope to take your place? As captain?’ she asked, as this was the only thing that made any kind of sense to her. If he was a soldier and Gino was obviously higher in ranking than Levi. There was something between the two men that seemed to go beyond kinship.
‘Levi…’ She said puling at the hem of her skirt, now unable to look at him. ‘Do you consider yourself a bad man?’

Levi: Since he wasn’t able to answer both questions and had only managed to laugh at her first before the second came in, Levi had to let it go and focus on that. ‘Do I think I’m a bad man? I dunno. Probably. It depends who you ask, but, I don’t really care.’

[Lorelai]

--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--

Lorelai: She wasn’t sure why he didn’t answer her about Michelle’s motives but in that moment she really didn’t have time to think about it as he answered the more important question. Her eyes flew up to him when he said the word probably. He thought that he probably was a bad man. She frown momentarily and then with a speed she didn’t know she possessed, she was on her feet and throwing her arms around his neck.
‘I don’t think you’re a bad man.’

Levi: Like a dog starving for attention, Lorelai leapt up from the floor and was pestering him with an embrace like he’d said the magic word. He frowned, even as he wrapped his arms around her, fingers becoming tangled in long hair. It was like she was trying to console him and he didn’t know why, didn’t he just tell her he didn’t care?

‘Uh… ok then,’ was all he could think in return.

Lorelai: She pulled back so that she could look into his eyes, placing her hands on each side of his cheek as she did so.
‘You’re good to me. You take away my hunger. You spend time with me.
You ignore the fact I’m crazy,’ her conscience added.
Lorelai quickly pulled away, her cheeks burning as she was certain Levi heard this, again.

Levi: Levi smirked at that last bit. It was funny to hear her be so frank like that, so not herself. There was a cynical edge to it rather than the typical woe is me behaviour that he was sort of getting used to, even if he didn’t like it. He wondered if Lorelai was always talking to herself, was always in two minds about things. He might have wondered, but it was quickly overcome with assumption that yes, yes she was because she was crazy. Levi began to draw a hand across her cheek, caressing her lightly while he looked into her eyes, a sincere smile coming over him. ‘I think I attract crazy and it seems to stick, so don’t worry about that,’ he thought for her benefit, almost like he’d forgotten to speak.

Lorelai: ‘I…’ she began, unable to find the right words. ‘Oh for heaven’s sake Lorelai. Stop acting like an idiot and kiss him.’ The blonde’s cheeks flushed and she quickly looked down at her feet. ‘Well he hasn’t bolted for the door. Yes, he’s a self-confessed criminal but you’re no angel yourself you know. And well… Please be quiet,’ she pleaded with herself. ‘He can hear you.’
Lorelai fidgeted where she stood, her arms crossing at her chest as she rubbed at her arms as if to protect herself from the cold.

Levi: Levi was better able to decipher the argument going on between Lorelai and well, Lorelai 2.0. As he listened, a frown put the edge back into his features. ‘Do you do that a lot?’ he asked. ‘Argue with yourself?’

Lorelai: Lorelai nodded without looking up at him. She didn’t know how. She was scared to see what he really thought of her, even if he had sort of made light of the situation.
‘Oh yeah. We argue all the time. She never listens to me.’
It was the first time her conscience had directly addressed the visitor in their mind and Lorelai’s posture quickly stiffened with discomfort. Her hands that had been rubbing her arms clutched the now tensed muscles, her fingertips pressing hard against her cold, alabaster skin.
‘We… I… I don’t always agree with myself. Is that… Is that not normal?’

Levi: Levi gave her arms a rub too, trying his best to be… comforting. He wasn’t good at comforting, wasn’t even sure what it looked like, but he had the sense to touch her in some way, like it might help. At her question, he rolled a shoulder. ‘Maybe not in the way you do it, I dunno. I’m hardly one to judge.’

Lorelai: She looked up at him from beneath her lashes and then wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly.
‘I try to do the right thing. I do. I know I’m not perfect. I’m sorry you had to… hear that. Hear her. Me. I’ve always been this way.’
It was the only explanation she had. Most people’s consciences probably had to stop them from doing things and while that was the role of Lorelai’s too at times, it did also have to push her into action at times. The timid female often argued with herself over what the right course of action was and her conscience all too often lost those battles, even when it was right.

Levi: It was a little weird for him to hear Lorelai referring to herself in the third person like that, like they were separate beings sharing a shell. He didn’t really know how to respond to that. He had no advice and no criticisms – nothing. Since she was hugging him tightly again, he returned to stroking his fingers through her hair. Of course he had to say or think something because giving her nothing wouldn’t have sufficed. Levi sighed. “Can we quit this… thing now or did you wanna talk some more?” he asked out loud.

Lorelai: Lorelai swiftly broke the connection between their minds, exhaling her frustration as she did so.
“We don’t have to talk that way.” When her words came out they sounded more like an apologetic whisper. “I wasn’t entirely sure that, that was even possible. I... I’ve never done that before.” She looked up at him, an odd mix of pride, embarrassment and affection in her gaze. “I just knew it was possible. And I hoped that if it worked, that you might open up to me a little.”
She buried her head against his chest and lost herself in his scent that was stronger than ever due to the fact that he’d slept in his clothes.

Levi: “Well, yeah… I guess you were right weren’t ya,” Levi said a little half-heartedly. He was feeling really awkward right now. “I don’t have to tell you that this **** stays between you and me, do I? I mean, not even Prudence should hear it. Ok?” he asked, trying to look for her somewhere in amongst his shirt, which was probably rather rank at that point, but Levi wasn’t one to care at that moment. He knew that Lorelai would probably agree, with a condition, that Prudence would have to be told if she asked because she just had to. Levi tried his best to hold back a heaving sigh.

Lorelai: “Oh no. No, of course not. I wouldn’t ever tell prudence. Unless… unless she told me to. And even then I would ask her to take it back first. I would beg her not to make me say it if I had to Levi. I wouldn’t ever wish to hurt you.”
Her voice was thick with sincerity and she held his eyes as she made this vow. He didn’t need to tell her to keep it to herself, he’d only finally shared that part of him when he was absolutely certain that no-one would ever know.

Levi: Levi found himself frowning out of a bit of surprise. The sincerity in her voice almost made him believe her, but he’d already decided that by telling her he didn’t care about the outcome. Umber eyes made a look to his right, then the left, dragging his head along for the ride. He let out a breath, something troubled. “Right,” he murmured. “Good.”

Lorelai: Lorelai reached up, cupped his face and pushed herself up onto her toes so that she could press her lips ever so tenderly to his.
“Thank you Levi. For telling me. For trusting me.”
She pulled away from him, allowing him his own space for a moment.
“Can I… Can I get you anything? Do you require…” ‘blood?’
The last word was projected into his mind since they had company in the other room.

Levi: Umber eyes rolled in his skull and he let out a frustrated sigh. “It’s my apartment. If I want anything, I’ll get it myself. But what about you, d’you need anything?”

Lorelai: “I…” Lorelai chewed on her lower lip and looked up at him, then away, then back to him. “I’m a little hungry.”
Her voice was very soft and almost apologetic. After the state she’d found him in she’d pretty much decided that she’d go hungry for the night but since he’d asked her, she told him.

Levi: With his fingers still combing through her hair, Levi watched blue eyes shift nervously, giving him the impression that whatever ‘comforting’ he was doing, probably weren’t all that effective. As it turned out though, Lorelai was just nervous about asking for that gift of his. That small bit of knowledge made the Italian smirk and lean in to kiss her forehead. In that moment, a wave of warmth and healing swept over the blonde, sating her hunger. “Feel better?” he murmured.

“Lorelai: Mmhmm,” she said nodding her head slightly. “Thank you Levi.” Delicate hands traced his jawline as she looked into his eyes before she placed another soft kiss to his lips.
She wasn’t sure what to say or do now. Levi seemed to be worse for wear when she found him but now he was on his feet and functioning like normal. The fact that even in his weakened state he’d been happy to help her made her as warm and tingly as the newly replenished blood in her system. She smiled up at him and blushed softly.
“Is there anything I can do for you in return?” she asked, risking his wrath once more; though her question was a little more general this time.

Levi: There was that question again and immediately, Levi’s instinct was to frown and huff and try to breathe through his rage. He took maybe one lungful, exhaling it to the side of Lorelai’s face before he stopped himself. Staring at the blank wall behind her that was close to the door to the en suite, an idea formed in the Italian’s head. He blinked twice and then looked to Lorelai with an even temper. “Well, I think I need to clean myself up a bit. So, why don’t I meet you over at yours in a little while? I’ve got stuff to handle here too, so, give me an hour or two?”

Lorelai either didn’t notice his frustration or choose to ignore it, the latter being the more likely of the two, as she stared at him with the usual blend of affection and interest.
“Oh, but of course,” she gave him a little room as she looked him over. He did still look a little worse for wear what with being in yesterday’s clothes still. “I’ll be waiting for you when you arrive.”
And she would be too. She had very little drive to do anything but make sure that he got what he needed from her that night, even if all he required was a quiet few hour on the sofa while they both read. She knew his time with her was pretty much all the downtime he usually allowed himself and so she tried to respect that as best she could. Being who she was, that wasn’t all difficult to do as she was easy going and laid back by nature.

Levi’s expressions remained locked in that empty expression, giving nothing away. Even as Lorelai kissed him, he watched her movements like he was looking through a window because his body felt elsewhere and not under his control exactly. He just felt unbelievably tired, like the gravity had been multiplied without any notice. He kept himself standing straight though, too proud to show too much weakness in one go until Lorelai left and he let go of that breath he didn’t know he was holding. Levi felt his body sag like all the life had been taken with her as she tomed out of there. He sucked in another breath and eyed the door to the en suite with determination. No point feeling sorry for himself after this **** was mostly his own making. Now was the time to shut up, suit up, and get on with things. He'll relax when he's dead. Actually dead... maybe.