"--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--"
Mortll: Mortll really didn't want to do this ... She doubted he even wanted to hear from her but under the circumstances it was something that needed to be done and She was the one that had to do it She expected him to bent out of shape and he would probably not even listen but she would have to try at least . She picked up her phone and dialed his number .
Doc: Doc answered the phone, his voice was tired, weary almost. He hadn't slept the previous day, and now he just laid awake staring at the ceiling because of the Blonde Bimbo. "Yea..." The slang word was used versus his usual clearly enunciated words.
Mortll: Mortll bit her lip he sounded tired she almost hung up " Im Sorry Jane bothered you ... You wont be seeing her again if she broke anything or did anything just send me the bill and ill get it fixed .... You sound tired are you ok ?"
Mortll: she didn't mean to ask the last part it just came out once it was out there she couldn't take it back she should have just texted him .
Mortll: "Im sorry you should have shot her i almost did If it makes you feel better she's shoveling **** until she has blisters on her hands for the next week Thats one thing she can't possibly **** up " she paused "You really need your rest ... you don't get enough sleep never have ... I should let you go "
Mortll: She was thinking about how he would sleep after she gave him a massage and was trying desperately to push the thoughts out of her head
Doc: "I know I should.. which is why I am lying here staring at the ceiling, willing myself to get sleepy once more." He paused, "How are you?"
Mortll: "as well as can be expected Shoulder is better. Don't think about sleep .... Think about the water in Rio ... and how it sounded the waves on the beach and the balmy air and ocean breezes You will be sleeping like a baby in no time "
Doc: "Yea.. I'll give it a try..Oh hey.. do me a favor.. Don't tell anyone about this place.. I lose more places.. once people know. Spawns move in.. a friend of a friend of someone needs a place for a few nights.. and then I never get it back. I just want one place .. for me. Alright?"
Mortll: Mortll laughed "I promise i wont I bought a place there as well Jane was supposed to get me curtain measurements Im sorry she invaded your privacy You've still got keys to my Trailer if you need a quick comfortable place near your work I don't go there ..." Her voice cracked she had started to say she had bought the place in Sanctuary to be by herself again to be away from all the memories that her place in West towers held. She bit her lip. God why did this have to be so difficult... She couldn't make him do anything he didn't want to do. She didn't want someone that didn't want her... She sighed audibly, "Your secret is safe with me."
Doc: Doc heard the sigh, he couldn't even imagine how or what this must be like for her. It started out .. the of them having fun. Someone to talk to, someone to laugh with at the stupid **** people posted on the crow; but then it changed. They both went into this saying, 'you need to pull the trigger.. pull it.. ' but somewhere along the line it changed. But **** him, if he knew when it happened. 'For what it is worth, and I am not saying this to piss you off; or to upset you.. I want you to know, I do not regret 'us'. Not one bit. Even if my language went to hell because of you."
Mortll: She closed her eyes "I didn't end this ... you gave it up because well you don't know what you want ... i understand that but Every time i'm around you is like wanting you To have what i had and that isn't possible because of well you. So it makes it hard i don't know what to feel it's like a ******* roller coaster; happy to see you walk in the door and pissed at you all at the same time. I just can't really believe that you want to be with her ... It makes this so ******* confusing. I feel like I went from a solid ‘know who i am’ person to a ‘total ******* mess’; That needs to get back how she was. But that person no longer exists because of you." Her voice had been steady but it cracked "I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep but every time i try It feels like something is missing.”
Mortll: “So your not the only one not sleeping well..”
Doc: Doc was silent for a long moment. "I don't expect your understanding. I really don't. But I .. she's my wife. As much as I want to be with you.. I also want to be with her. It is an untenable situation. We, you and I, had something good. Cyth and I .. we had something great for a short period of time.. before it all went to hell. Will it ever be great again? I have no idea. Do I have to try.. ? Yes. I do. I may be acting the fool. Probably am."
Mortll: "I understand ... I really do and that just makes it even harder ... I knew better than to get my hopes up ... I didn't really expect you to love me ... But it hurt when you didn't. That sounds like crazy lady talk i know," she laughed a tight little tense laugh.
Doc: "You sell yourself short. You and I are a lot alike in that regard."
Mortll: What the **** was that supposed to mean she was screaming it in her head .... Did he love her was this just one of his fucked up things he got in his head that he thought was the right thing to do ... Was his need to self destruct everything that was good that damn bad ... She rubbed her brow ... "Charles i'm too tired for cryptic ... What does that mean?"
Doc: 'It means you can do ******* better than me, Mortll!"
Mortll: "I have done better than you ... none of them made me happy nor was I content ... I don't want better. I want my match and I’m a ******* mess ... "
Doc: "The last thing I wanted, was to hurt you. But I could not continue to live in denial. Yes I am going to try to work things out with the wife; I am may fail. But if I didn't try I would have always wondered 'what if'. I have to try. And if that means you have to hate me, so you can get past it.. I will accept that."
Mortll: “I don’t want to hate you.”
Mortll: “I just wished you loved me more. “I’ve thought about leaving selling it all and just taking my risk out there ... a thousand other thoughts have crossed my mind as well; “what if”... no I can’t bring myself to play games or try to get you to change your mind.”
Doc: *He wanted to tell her no, but he didn't have that right.* “I am not going to change my mind. I may fail. She may decide too much has happened. Unless she divorces me.. I gotta try.”
Mortll: “Just get some sleep; think about the beach or something you need your rest; you don't get it you start doing rash things ... and your focus ... Jane wont bother you again.” She hit the button on the phone. Jane didn't know what her actions had cost Mortll ... Mortll would make her pay would she kill her no but by the time She was finished with her the woman would be wishing she was dead and probably be much less of a whimpy *** ***** ..; Mortll laid the phone down on the table and closed her eyes... Even if he ended it with his wife, she couldn't fix what was wrong ... He would have to do it ... He would have to actually man up and fight for her and prove that he cared.