Murder Ballads

[Amberly]

January 15th, 2015

New life, new book. Seems fair, right?

I know that’s brief as opening lines go but it’s a lot to take in. I mean, it’s not every day you literally wake up dead. Least, I’m pretty sure I’m dead. The mirror definitely seems to think so and let me tell you, that was a ******* shock. It’s bad enough when you wake up, y’know, with bedhead and all that **** without looking in the mirror, toothbrush in hand, and seeing a corpse looking back at you. It’s something out of a horror movie. I mean, come on.

So that was, like I said, a shock.

Don’t really remember too much of how I got here, to be honest. Nothing, to be entirely honest. I just have this feeling (and the whole mirror thing on top of that) that makes me think it didn’t end too well for me. Well. I mean. I am alive still, apparently. Kinda. Ish. In a way. And I guess that’s the main thing.

So, just so I can keep it ordered in my mind - pros, much better at my whole stealing job thing. Faster, stronger, quieter. And apparently just looking at shopkeepers means they give me money by the handful now. I like that one. Cons, have you seen my reflection lately? Yeah. Also I’m hungry all the goddamn time. Those blood pack things really don’t seem to do anything for me. Which is a story in itself, to be fair.

There I was, right? Wandering around, hungry like you wouldn’t believe. So I get a burger. Tasted just the same as always, but I’m still hungry after wolfing it down. With a Sprite. So I get another one. This goes on for a while. For far longer than I’m comfortable with, really. Still nothing. Still hungry. I gave up eventually, went back on with my walk, hoping that if I kept active I'd forget I was hungry or whatever. Stranger things have happened probably. Broke into a couple of buildings to see if there was anything worth taking. There wasn’t, really, but I took it anyway.

Now, the key thing about what I do for a living is that I sell what I take. Means I can make the money I need to keep the roof over my head, right? And that’s always a big tick in the plus column. ‘cause **** rain, am I right. So I go to a shop. Never really seen it before, but it looked exactly like the kind of place that’d buy what I had to sell. The guy did, too. Also where I found out about the way they just want to throw money at me. No complaints yet.

Anyway. So I’m in the shop, counting the fistful of bills I’ve been handed by this guy when I notice the blood pack. Now, I’d seen the things before so I knew what it was. I’d never reacted to them in the way that I did though. I swear to god, my stomach growled so loud the guy behind the register actually jumped. So I bought three of the things.

And that’s how I’m pretty sure I’m a vampire now. Which I can’t believe I just wrote and actually meant. I sound like a fourteen year old for ****’s sake.

Sad thing is, they still didn’t help. I mean, they did at first? But like, minutes later I was hungry again. Unbelievable. And I get cranky when I’m hungry. It’s not good. For anyone. On the plus side (ish) I had a few mirrors at home to smash so I’d not keep seeing the whole corpse thing every time I walked by. It was always out of the corner of my eye, too, and that was so much worse than you’d think it would be. So much.

So yeah. All in all, fun night. For a slightly different definition of fun. And I guess that if I actually am a vampire, I’ll have an eternity more of them to look forward to.

Joy.

[Amberly]

January 16th, 2015

So blood packs still don’t do a goddamn thing. Like, nothing. Less than nothing. They’re like those mini burgers I’ve seen people having a fancy parties on TV. They sound like a good idea - I mean, come on. Funsize burgers - but they do nothing to actually fight your appetite. It’s insane. And yet presumably people like the things or the shops wouldn’t stock them. I just don’t understand why people like them. I was wrong. They’re not like funsize burgers at all. They’re like the small bottles of stuff you get on planes that’re good for a mouthful but useless for anything else.

I mean, I’ll drink one and I’m fine for five minutes. Ten tops. And then I’ll need another one. And so on for the rest of the day. My new life really needs a handbook or something, because this will not ******* do. I can’t spend all day drinking blood from a plastic bag. It’s just tacky. And it’s getting quite expensive, too, which is going to be an issue sooner rather than later. I’m doing okay on the cash front at the moment, but… $200 a pop? The rate I’m going with the damn things I’ll be bankrupt by the end of Sunday. And that would just be embarrassing.

Anyway. Enough moaning for the moment. What did I do today?

First off, I woke up and did the whole thing with the blood packs. But I’ve covered that one. So. After that I went out to do the rounds of the various businesses again, see if they actually had anything worth stealing. It makes no sense, really. I mean. I get having safes. I get locking things up so people like me don’t steal them. Makes total sense. What I don’t get is putting things like reels of wire in a safe. Or having a safe that’s worth more than the entire damn building your shop’s in. It’s misleading. And seriously annoying.

I did get some information from one of them though. I found a slip of paper talking about how a building in Westwall was hiding some sort of artifact called a Plutocrat’s Band for the day. Or, I guess, until someone else stole it before I could there. So I high tailed it out the door and made straight for the transit in Swansdale. Growing up around here has perks, it turns out. Who’d have thought it, right?

Anyway. Got on the transit and got off at Westwall. Turns out the building was close by, so it didn’t take too long to get there. When I got inside I ran into that issue again. Easy to get in, but the security on the inside was ******* insane. I’m talking electronic locks everywhere, motion sensors. Probably infrared or something too. And guards! Guards in apartments. Armed guards! I don’t get this town sometimes. If there’s one thing we really need less of, it’s trigger happy rent-a-cops wandering around all the buildings. How the hell am I supposed to make any cash? **** me.

On the plus side, the apartments are right next to the Westwall Arms bar. So I made sure I headed straight there after I left the apartments in a huff because I set the damned alarms off giving it the old college try. There’s not much that can make you feel better after something like that, but a stiff whiskey is definitely one of them. Especially if it’s good whiskey. So there was that at least. May have taken the bottle while the guy wasn’t looking, too. Score for me.

After I left the bar, I went back on with my daily business - picking pockets and setting off alarms stealing stuff from buildings. I felt like a change today, though, so I decided to try my hand at the warehouses and factories instead of the commercial buildings. It went pretty well, all in all. Got a load of guns from a couple, and this massive ******* axe thing from another one. And a load of chemicals. I’m uneasy about the chemicals. I mean, what would they even do to me at this point, if anything, but I don’t actually want to find out, y’know? I like my skin. Could do without fingerprints though, I guess…

Oh ****, totally forgot to say. I like Redwood, right? I mean, it’s a bit rough and ready but that’s fine for me. Gangsters everywhere, and these guys that keep trying to buy my blood. But I figure that in an area like that, who’s going to notice little, thieving, old me, right? So far no-one really has. Other than that cop that tried to shoot me, but he missed so **** him. Dumbass. But yeah, there’s a load of bars on this one block. Stuck my head into a couple of them to see who was about and if I could take anything from them without them noticing.

That was a no. For today, anyway. I’ll have to try again tomorrow. I mean, I figure bars will be good places to take some wallets or whatever. And see if the thing with the shop keepers is the same with other people, too, I guess. That’d be fantastic. This girl loves her some free drinks.

Back to moaning, though.

I’m pretty sure life was trolling me hard today. There was that whole thing with the high value item earlier that I mentioned. I got the info on that pretty early in the day and spectacularly failed to get my hands on it at the same time. But then, after that, almost every single damn place I tried to rob had intel on the thing. I mean. The **** even is that? “There’s this thing. You know about it, and you can’t get it, but I’m going to keep telling you about it anyway! Hah!”. I swear to god, one of these days I’m going to get one of them and I don’t even know what I’ll do. Hysterics probably. Or sell it and get stupendously drunk.

Speaking of, I need another ******* blood pack. And a mini-fridge. I like them chilled, I’ve discovered.

[Amberly]

January 17th, 2015

Jesus, so. Where do I even start on today? The beginning probably.

So yeah. Today started out like yesterday. A handful of blood packs without really feeling the benefit of them. And then screaming at a barista because I was hungry and the ***** wouldn’t give me my coffee fast enough. And then she asked if I was sure I wanted coffee at that time of night. Of course I was ******* sure. That’s why I ordered it. Some people, I swear to god. Why can’t they just do what you ask them to do and keep their opinions to themselves? It’s like when you take a load of cash out the bank and they ask you if you have anything fun planned. I always tell them I’m hiring a hitman.

The real ***** of it all, though, wasn’t the dumbass barista. It was the way that I walked right out of the coffee place, turned a corner and got shot in the stomach by a cop. Which, shockingly, made me drop my cup of steaming wonderfulness. Turns out the local police might know who I am, and they definitely don’t like the way I’ve been breaking and entering all over the city. Or the way I’ve been mercilessly beating rent-a-cops that annoy me. Which is all of them. But in my defence, I’ve only been assaulting the ones that actually try to stop me.

So after that one happened, it was off to patch myself up (with duct tape and a stolen silk handkerchief. I’m a boss.) and then get back on with my night. It was like the other ones, really. More breaking and entering, more general stealing. I did manage to get some stuff sold on the auction site thing though. Which was quite nice really. I mean, when you’ve stolen the stuff that you’re selling to these people it’s basically free money, right? And free money is good money. I’ve got a load more stuff up for sale right now, too. Mostly bits of wire and some microwaves. I’m hoping someone wants, or needs them.

The amount of blood packs I’m getting through, I really need the cash.

One thing that was different from yesterday was my experiences in an apartment building in Westwall.

Like yesterday, I found another bit of paper with the address scrawled on and the item it was hiding. Wish I could say I knew what it was, but I didn’t pay much attention. I was already in a foul mood from getting shot and after the one yesterday I really wanted to show this thing who’s boss. Me. I’m the boss. So I hopped back on the transit and got off at Westwall again. This one was even closer to the transit station, which was awesome, and also has a bar right next to it. I’m pretty sure someone’s looking out for me in some way when it comes to these things. So I broke into the place and had a little wander around.

Now. The thing I found yesterday was that all the doors were too tricky for me to get through, so I wasn’t exactly hoping for much, y’know? But this one was oh so much better. I mean, all the doors were still too hard for me to get through but I was expecting that one. The thing that was better was that some bright spark had left the key cards all over the floor. Which was fan-*******-tastic. I couldn’t believe my luck.

So I picked up the first one with some loot and then went up a floor. And the same thing happened again. I kinda just stood there for a minute wondering if I was still asleep and then picked some more stuff off the floor. And then went up to the third floor. Where the same thing happened yet again. I started getting pretty suspicious at this point. I mean, it was all going a bit too well, really. Especially given what had happened the day before. But I wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

I got to the fourth floor before my luck ran out and I got surrounded by rent-a-cops waving guns. They weren’t too bright though, which worked well for me, ‘cause I said “Wooo I’m a vampire” and they assumed I was drunk and escorted me out the building. Pretty sure I was lightheaded both from blood loss and from how good my luck was up until that point. I mean, goddamn, right? To even things out, I probably won’t get through the door on the next one I find out about.

I went to the bar again after I got out, to celebrate this time, though, not to drown my sorrows. It’s a better kind of drinking and a better kind of drunk. After that I went back to Redwood on the transit and had a bit of a wander about. Stopped by a shop to get rid of some of the stuff I couldn’t put up for sale on that auction site I mentioned earlier - a fifty item limit on there - and then had to drop by a bank. No awkward questions at this one, though. So that was good.

Not sure what I’m going to do with the rest of my night, to be honest. Normally I’d see if I could steal some more stuff but I don’t really want to push my luck any further in case something truly terrible happens. I have a feeling that it’s getting close to that point and I don’t want to be in the middle of something sensitive when it finally breaks. That would be bad.

Might stop by one of the handful of bars I keep walking past while I’m taking care of business. Can’t believe I’ve not been in them yet. I do like a good bar.

[Amberly]

January 18th, 2015

Found another raid today and got to the third floor. Not as good as yesterday obviously, but also nowhere near as bad as the first one I ever tried. So I guess it evens out when you look at the big picture. Today, I like looking at the big picture. Especially when I add into it that even more of the stuff that I listed for auction yesterday have sold. I’m not quite rolling in it yet, but I’m getting there. Kinda. Getting there slowly. And that’s the main thing.

It’s weird, really. I had no idea what this new life/whatever this is was going to bring for me but I’m enjoying it so far. I’m faster, I’m stealthier and I don’t feel the cold as much. All of these things are good things as far as I care. I mean, this time of year and at night? Not feeling the cold is a ******* great thing. The one downside is that I don’t really know anyone, although some chick did buy me a drink in one of the bars last night, which was nice of her. I’ll have to return the favour if I see her. Could be a good conversation starter.

Knowing people is good, or something. At the very least, having contacts is a good thing. Especially if they like buying me things. I like being bought things.

I want to explore the city some more too, starting tomorrow. Before… all this, whatever this is, I never really ventured too far from the area I grew up in. So Swansdale, Stag Heath and Redwood mostly. As a general rule, most of what I might want is in those three districts. It’s these raid things that have helped me get out of my comfort zone a bit more, with two visits to West Wall and that one today in Coastside. The city’s a big place and it’d be mad not to see more of it, especially now that I can do basically what I want and not worry about what’ll happen to me because of it.

I mean, I’ve literally been shot three times in forty-eight hours and I’m still here, walking around and being as stone cold ******* awesome as ever. So I’m pretty sure I don’t have too much to worry about when it comes to the whole dying thing. Which, added into the whole thing with the drinking blood from plastic bags kinda reinforces my suspicion that not only are vampires real but I am one. Which still sounds ******* insane to say. I mean. I feel like I should sweep around in a cape yelling ‘I am the night!’ or whatever. It’s mad.

Going back a bit though, that bar last night was pretty cool. I chose it originally ‘cause of the music and the way there was a load of bikes out front. Sounded and looked like my kind of place. Inside it was a bit rough and ready, but in a vaguely friendly way? So I stuck around for a bit, had a few drinks. Even played a bit of pool Didn’t win, but I did manage to steal some wallets while I was losing so in my mind I came out on top after all. Suckers. And yeah, that chick bought me a drink. All in all, it was a good time. I think I’ll try one of the other ones tonight. It’s called Lancaster’s or something. From the level of green, I think it’s probably an Irish bar. So Guinness is probably going to happen.

Or I guess I could make a start on seeing the rest of the city a bit more and try a bar somewhere else. I mean, there has to be more bars in a city this big, right? The’re probably all over. And a pub crawl totally counts as exploring, when you think about it. I mean, you can’t tell me that people like Columbus weren’t smashed when they found the **** they found. All those months at sea on a wooden boat going through storms? They weren’t walking unsteady on account of the waves, now, were they. It was the rum they’d been drinking in industrial quantities. I’d just be upholding the time honoured tradition.

I might start with Wickbridge. It’s the closest district to where I am now, and it’s always been a bit of a hotspot for the nightlife, no pun intended, in the city… but I’ve only ever passed through. If I remember right, there’s a museum or something up there too. Drinks, a wander around a museum, pick some pockets and make some money. Doesn’t sound like a bad night out now, does it? And on top of that, if it’s an art museum I can case the place for a later heist. That would bring in the cash nicely, I think.

Right. That sounds like a plan. Which means I need to go stock up on blood packs, ‘cause they still don’t do a ******* thing to make me any less hungry. I thought I was bad before I’d had my coffee in the morning, right? But that level of annoyance hasn’t got **** on how I am these days when it comes to hunger. Seriously. I’ve felt like I’m starving for three ******* days straight now. It gets old faster than you’d believe.

On the plus side, I got one of those travel mug things earlier. It holds a litre and a half and it’s totally opaque. Which means I can keep blood in it and wander around letting people think it’s just tea or coffee or something. And I figure that’s a good idea, ‘cause people might notice someone sipping at a thick, red liquid and jump to some conclusions I’d rather they didn’t. Being left alone in my line of work is generally a good idea.

Right, that’ll do for now. I’m off to Club Clockwork. Or Tick Tock. Metronome to see what trouble I can get into. And how much the drinks cost. The bar last night was fairly cheap, which gets it mega bonus points when it comes to quality of a night out. This place has a lot of catching up to do.

[Amberly]

January 19th, 2015

So, in vague order.

The Metronome Club (I got the word order wrong last night. Oops) wasn’t really my scene, but it wasn’t a bad place either. The music was pretty okay, too, though they did seem a bit keen on the whole halloween theme. But hey, each to their own I guess. On the plus side, there was some Siouxsie and a couple of Misfits tracks. Not at all what I was expecting from the place when I saw it from outside, and totally not the worst thing in the world. So woo. First checkbox ticked and all that. The track that was just one woman laughing for a while was ******* odd though.

The drinks were a bit pricier than at that other place, but not by much so it kinda all works out. And I was expecting it, really. The other one did seem like more of a dive bar than this place, so it stands to reason that drinks would be cheaper there. Also that one’s not in Wickbridge. So, but pricier than I might have liked, but all in all not a bad thing. Second box half ticked.

I had a bit of a wander around, only really going on the dance floor bit in the middle of the club to steal some cash from the people milling about there, but it seemed like a pretty good space if you’re that way inclined and don’t mind random strangers rubbing up on you. Personally, I was always most likely to respond to that sort of thing with a stiff punch to the gut, and that was before I was annoyed all the time by hunger. But hey, different strokes and all that.

Like the other place, they had some pool tables and I had a good time hustling a couple of drunk frat boys out of their tuition. I swear to god, they see a moderately pretty face and they lose what little intelligence they had to start with. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t even count as a hustle when they throw the game for you after you gave them a smile. I mean, come on. That can’t count, right? It’s weird, ‘cause I’ve never really been That Girl with the charms and all that, but people can’t seem to stop themselves the last few days. Like the shopkeepers. It’s weird, but I ain’t really complaining. Money is a good thing.

The real highlight of the club, for me, though, was the little garden thing they have off to one side. That, I thought, was a really nice touch and a better place to have a quiet (ish) drink while everyone else is flailing wildly to whatever’s being played inside. Nice view of the sky too, which I’ve always liked. Few things better than getting a drunk on while you stare at the stars. Not that I got too wasted - I had to review the place, after all. Not to mention keep my eye out to see how good the place might be on the earnings front in the future - a pretty solid okay.

After that I wandered over to the art gallery, which turned out to be a modern art gallery. So straight away I wasn’t too interested. I did have a quick look around anyway, though, to try to see if there was anything that I could fence, should I feel the urge. There wasn’t, really. The pieces that would be worth it I’d need a team for and this girl works alone. ******* statues, man. Why can’t they make them out of cardboard or something? Inconsiderate bastards.

The paintings were… Well, I’m not actually sure. They might have been good? I really have no idea. I don’t go in much for the modern stuff. And don’t even get me started on the giant ******* rubber duck. At least with the old masters like Monet and the like you can appreciate the talent and work that had gone into something, but a giant rubber duck? I could do that. And I mean, that kinda takes the fun out of it for me. Why go to all the bother of stealing something to fence when I could just… make up a ‘forgery’ in an afternoon and go from there? ******* insanity.

After I’d left I took a wander around the businesses up here and, all in all, they have a much better class of loot up in Wickbridge and much, much more idiotic guards. I mean, I genuinely managed to convince one of them that I’d wandered up to the building, got through the external security, disengaged the cameras and had walked off with a ton of sensitive documents… whilst sleepwalking. I mean, come on. And then the fuckwit actually walked me out, warned me about being out late and night and wished me well! I mean… There aren’t words for that guy. Well, other than ‘oh, honey...’ anyway. I’ll have to go back, see what else they have at some point. I mean…

Didn’t get anything about any more of those raid things today, though, so I was right on the money with that prediction too. Really was too good to last. But, on the plus side, it means I have plenty of time, probably, to practice and refine my skill set before I try one of them again. Which I did today actually. There’s this one type of lock that I just could not work out how to get past for the longest time but today, and pardon the pun, it just clicked. Always nice to learn something new. And on top of that, it’s opened up (literally) a whole new variety of loot for me. Which means even more money.

My auction listings are still selling well, and I’ll need to update them at some point, talking about making money. Turns out that undercutting everyone else’s listings by an insane amount means you actually make more overall. And like I said the other day, when you’re stealing this **** it’s all free money anyway, so what does it matter what you charge for them? It’s good times.

Tonight, though, that Lancaster’s place is up for review. I’ve been thinking about Guinness all day, so it needs to be done.

[Amberly]

January 20th, 2015

So I like Lancaster’s. A lot. The music’s not really my thing, but other than that this place is totally my kind of bar. They have a fireplace for ****’s sake. A fireplace. I’m currently sat in an armchair in front of it, writing this thing. All I need is hot chocolate and I’m set. I love it. If I fancy something to do, there’s pool tables. And obviously a bar. And did I mention the goddamn fireplace? I mean. Beat that. What’s that? You can’t? Didn’t think so, every other bar in the city. I love it. So much.

In other news, I’m pretty sure I am a vampire. I mean, the whole drinking blood thing aside for the moment, it was the guy that ran at me, screaming “Die *****, die” (I’m guessing here) and then stabbed me in the face for being an ‘undead freak’ that really gave the game away. Also it kinda totally sucked. On top of that, I’m not actually dead after having a knife driven into my skull so I think the guy might have been onto something about the whole being undead thing. It would seem to stand to reason.

But yeah. After that had happened, the blood packs I hate love so much don’t seem to be doing anything. So I thought, now that I know what I am, I’d give biting an actual person a shot. To be brief, it didn’t exactly go well. I was nervous as **** for some reason, and so when I finally decided to pounce on this dude I tripped and fell into him. Shockingly, he noticed this and I had to run away pretty quick. Which is where being a vampire actually helped out what with the whole increased speed thing. So I guess it’s kinda a blessing and a curse all at the same time. Because life wasn’t complicated enough, apparently. Good times.

I did eventually get a decent shot, though, and it went okay. I do think it’s better than the blood packs but given how badly I fucked the first try up I think I’m probably going to stick to them. Also they’re easier to carry around. I can’t exactly fit an actual person in my bad, y’know? But I can fit a couple of spare bags and my nice new cup (typical that I don’t really need it with this head wound the day after I got it, right?) in there. So yeah. The packs are better.

After all that thrilling excitement I did my usual rounds of the buildings to see if there was anything worth stealing. Unlike yesterday, and more like the couple before that, it seemed like every door I got through and every safe I opened was really excited to tell me about some artifact being held in a building in River Rock. Not wanting to push my luck (also I have a hole in my head), I didn’t head over there. I want to get better at this stuff before giving these things another shot. I mean, I’m not stupid. I know the first couple I tried I got insanely lucky in. I’m not always going to find key cards on the floor so I can’t rely on that.

I did explore into Stag Heath off to the west a bit, though. Instead of the commercial and warehouse type places I’m used to, it’s mostly factories out there. Which means I got more of those chemicals I’m a little worried to handly. Also a load of bars of various types of metal and that’s a good thing - they seem to sell pretty well on that auction site. So woo, more free money. And I’m pretty sure that’s actually the best kind of money in the history of ever. Much excitement, even if the bloody things do weigh a ton. Carrying several lead bars around is a workout in itself.

I should write a get fit quick book - “The Breaking and Entering Diet”. I wonder how well it would sell. Mind you, I’d need to get an agent and a publicist and all that stuff, so it might not actually be worth the effort. It’s something to think about though. In the meantime I’ll keep stealing this **** and selling it on. No idea why someone would want a bar of lead, but if they want to pay me for the ones I have I’m not exactly going to stop and ask them if they’re insane or not. I’m just going to take their money with a smile and say thanks. Might have a hole in my head currently, but I’m not stupid.

Unlike the guards they put on these places. So far I’ve told guards I’m Batman and a klepto sleep walker, and they’ve bought both of them. Today? One of them caught me picking a lock, stopped me and asked what the hell I thought I was doing. I told them there had been an accident outside and I was just in here looking for a phone. They looked all concerned, so I asked if they could call an ambulance while I went back out to make sure everyone was okay. The idiot bought that one too. Apparently people often go looking for phones by picking locks in this town. These people, I swear.

The main downside of my day is that after all that, I managed to get myself another hole. Apparently the cops really like using me for target practice and I’m not sure that I appreciate it. I mean. There has to be some kind of law about randomly opening fire on people in the middle of the street, right? This isn’t America, people. You can’t just do that up here. Also my leg really ******* hurts. Not a fan of the cops at all at this point. The bastards.

I think I’ll stay here in Lancaster’s tonight in my armchair. The main perk of being nocturnal now is that I can chill out in bars during the day and no-one seems to notice or mind. At least, that’s how it’s worked so far. Other than the hunter today, literally no-one’s had an issue with it. Makes finding a place to sleep that much easier.

All in all, despite a couple of downsides, it’s been a pretty good day. Starting to get the hang of this whole new life thing now.

[Amberly]

January 21st, 2015

My head wound is still causing me problems. I mean, I’m still drinking the blood packs through the day so I can use the cup I bought especially but they’re doing even less than usual. So I thought, before I left Lancaster’s (I will be going back. Oh, will I be going back.), that I’d practice the whole drinking blood from the source thing. Which is still mildly terrifying, but now that I know that I’m a vampire I think I’d better know how to actually be a vampire and stuff. And then I’ll get a cape and sleep in a coffin or something. Maybe get some body glitter.

I really don’t know what I’m doing.

Anyway. Practicing biting people so I can drink their blood. It went pretty well, I think, relatively speaking. I mean, the only thing I have to compare it to was the one that went horribly wrong and ended up with me getting shot and to be fair it’s hard to get much worse than that, but still. I got a pint of blood and the guy won’t remember me. All in all, I think that means that everyone wins. Everyone important, anyway. So me. Go me! I’m nailing this being the immortal undead thing, even without my cape and eastern european accent.

After that, I got on with my usual nightly business only this time I focussed on factories. Mainly because there seem to be a lot of them in Coastside and Stag Heath and I’ve never really explored either one of them before, so this gave me an excuse. I’m not too big of a fan of them, really, but the river was pretty nice to look at and there’s a massive pirate ship right there, too, and that’s always awesome. I mean, who doesn’t like pirates?

Fate is back to taunting me though. Yet more raid intel. It’s like the universe knows that I’m trying to be patient and train myself up nice and good before I give one of these things another go so I don’t have to rely on finding the key cards laying about (because let’s be honest, that’s never going to happen again) and just wants to piss me off by yelling at me about all these pricey artifacts all over town that I can’t get yet. I must have found information on this damned thing no fewer than ten different times. I mean… It’s nice and all? I just wish it’d stop. Because it’s making me kinda sad. And I don’t like it.

I do think that the guards in the factories are my favourite ones yet, though. I mean, they’re not better than the others. They’re really not. But they are so much more entertaining for me. I decided that today I was going to see what I could get away with. Just say the most ridiculous things I could think of or try the oldest tricks in the book. And it went shockingly well. How these people got employed I will never know, and I don’t think I actually want to. Though I should apply for a job there. I could steal everything these places have and still do a better a job than these utter, utter morons.

The first one I ran into stopped me as I was pulling some stuff out of a safe. I could not have been more red handed if I had been stealing a leaking tin of red paint. He asks me what the hell I’m doing and I say to him: “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were closed”. And it worked. He showed me to the door and was really polite about everything. And let me keep the stuff I’d already stolen. And then it got so much better. So much.

The next one didn’t catch me in a compromising position, I just got really unlucky and walked into the guy as I turned a corner. Which sucked, but at least I didn’t have anything incriminating on me to convince him I was a thief. Though, he probably would have thought I was some odd hobbyist or something. I told him I’d gotten locked in a restroom and, despite him meeting me right by the front door on the other side of the building from them, he didn’t question this. Instead he made me tea and then walked me out. I stole his wallet as a thank you.

The third and final one is my absolute favourite though. This one really did take the biscuit. I’d almost finished up taking everything I could find when this guy comes up behind me, slaps a hand on my shoulder and does the whole ‘what have we got here then’ routine that these people really seem to love. I guess cliches are safe and comfortable or something. Anyway. I turned around and then pretended to be scared. I pointed over his shoulder and screamed ‘look out! He has a gun!’. Now, this one I really didn’t think was going to work. It is literally the oldest trick in the book. But the guy turned around and I ran off out of the building. Idiot.

The main reason I was going through the factories though, other than seeing the sights, was because the chems I seem to get from them hand over fist also seem to sell really well. Like, I know I under cut everyone else pretty hard with the pricing but I’ve still made an absolute killing selling the things, so I thought I’d get more. This one person, Sundial, bought everything I had earlier. Which was awesome. So I sent them an email telling them as much and offered to supply them exclusively with what I find. They’ve not responded yet, so we’ll see how it goes. It’d be good to have someone who’ll pay steadily for this stuff though.

After all of that excitement I thought I’d stop off at the nearest bar for a well earned drink and tonight’s lucky winner was the incredibly aptly named High Noon Saloon which looks like something straight out of a Clint Eastwood movie and is full of gangsters. My kind of people, not normally my kind of decor, but I kinda like it. And the drinks aren’t badly priced either. All in all, it’s been a damn good day.

[Amberly]

January 22nd, 2015

So I got attacked by a vampire hunter again. Which is a pretty shitty way to start a day however you slice it. Ironically, they shot me in the leg. So no slicing, but you get the point. I don’t get how they know what I am, to be honest. I mean, I know I’ve joked about running around in a cape and screaming ‘I am the night’, but I’ve not actually been doing it? So yeah. I don’t get it. But hey, what can you do? I’m pretty sure there’s no-one I can go to to complain about these guys, so I’ll just have to shrug and carry on as best as I can.

After patching myself up I did my usual thing: Breaking into stuff, finding out about raids I can’t do and stealing chems. Only a couple of things stuck out, really, and those are that yelling ‘oh my god, it’s behind you’ apparently still works, and that the business owners have realised what I’m up to and have upgraded their locks. Yesterday I had no problems, today everything was incredibly secure. And I can’t get through them yet. Much more practice is needed before I’ll be able to, if I’m any judge. And that’s annoying. But hey.

Shockingly, this rather frustrated me and so I thought I’d do something different. I’ve been practicing tinkering with locks and stuff, obviously, so I’ll be able to do my main thing of being a thief. Because I’m good at that, but one of the fringe benefits of that is that I’ve been able to work out how to build a few bits and pieces along the way. I’m not entirely sure how that works, but it does. Not going to question it. So I stopped by the library and got out a few books on how to build a few bits and pieces.

Some of them are very obviously far out of the range of my skill, but others are quite interesting. The smoke bombs and knockout bombs especially. Not only will they help with my breaking and entering, but I’ll feel like a goddamn ninja when I’m using them and that cannot ever, ever be called a bad thing. I’m also working on a way to jam cameras and stuff, ‘cause that’ll make everything a lot easier for me, too. And I have a feeling it might be them that’s tipping off the vampire hunters somehow. It’s the only thing I can think of that might be.

But yeah. To make those bombs I need stuff that I found out can only be found in the city sewers. Which made me stop to think for a minute. As much as I want to feel like a ninja at all times, I wasn’t totally convinced I wanted to be wandering around in the sewers. Who would, right? But in the end the desire to be a ninja won out and I found a way into them. Turns out, they’re not too bad? If you don’t mind rats and large naked men screaming incoherently at you as you walk (run) past them. It’s all a bit odd, really.

After a few hours of getting well and truly filthy, in the less than fun way, I managed to get my hands on a handful of sewer fungi and a fair amount of chemical waste (which I really wasn’t happy about, got to be honest, but you do what you’ve got to do) and was about ready to find somewhere to begin making this stuff. As it stands, I still haven’t done that one and I’m going to need to do a fair amount of asking around. All the books (and Google) are talking about some pretty specialised equipment and I have… none of it. I don’t even have a place to call my own at this point, so that’s not exactly surprising.

While I was wandering around the actual city rather than below it, though, I did overhear a load of people talking about a place called the ‘quarantine zone’ and how it’s been fenced off. Which isn’t surprising given its name. I’m thinking that I’ll have a poke around in there tomorrow, see if I can find anything, or anyone, that might be able to help me out. I figure that if there’s an area that humans are scared to go in, is cut off from the rest of the city and has armed guards then there’s a good chance there might be vampires in there. And other vampires mean I might be able to find out where a place I can make my bombs is. And also how to actually be a vampire. Both of which would be awesome.

For now, though, I’m going to hang around in the sewers some more and try to get my hands on more of this stuff. Examples of each one of them were kinda few and far between, and I don’t know if that’s just continued bad luck or if they’re pretty rare, but either way I’d like to have a decent amount of each of them before I start trying to make minor explosives. I can see my first attempts going wrong and I don’t want to run out of this stuff before I’m able to make anything. Because that would actually be more annoying than being randomly attacked by hunters every other day. Which, let me tell you, is saying one hell of a lot.

The first attack has given me an excuse to wear a variety of hats and the like, though. And who doesn’t like that? Exactly.

That, I think, is probably enough for today so I’m going to sign off now. I’m hoping that I don’t get attacked for a while more than anything else, because I could really do with being at the top of my game for a while. My bank balance is pretty healthy right now, but I don’t know how long that’s going to last so I’d like to be able to make some serious cash before I lose an arm or whatever. I’m pretty sure that’s going to be the next thing - missing limbs.

Anyway. Going back out to hunt mushrooms and chemical waste now. And I can’t believe I just said that. It’s been a week for saying things I can’t believe I’m saying, apparently. Isn’t this new life just ******* marvelous.

[Amberly]

January 23rd, 2015

So first off, I didn’t get attacked by a hunter today and I’m going to go right ahead and call that a win. Not getting shot or stabbed in the face does, fairly regularly, count as a win as far as I’m concerned. Especially as I’m getting on the way to healing up fully from my other two encounters with that group. Which is also a win in my book, ‘cause I’m getting really tired of leaking all over the place. And trying to bite people. I’m getting really tired of that, too.

You’d think it’d be so much easier than it actually is, y’know? But really, it’s a total pain in the neck. No pun intended. The blood packs might not be the most appetising things in the world, but at least they don’t punch you in the throat after you’ve spent all that time and effort luring them into an alleyway so you can have a spot of breakfast. Which still baffles me. I mean, what kind of guy allows themselves to get lured into an alley by a girl and then turns round and punches them? Utter bastards, that’s who. Utter, utter bastards.

I’m going to need to practice my charm or something. Either that, or I really need those knockout bomb things I’m going to make soon. I’m pretty sure that unconscious people will be easier to bite than fully conscious ones. I can’t wait until I can go back to the blood packs. I don’t know why my head wound won’t let me use them currently, but I want it to stop and I want it to stop now. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to not be able to feed more than once a day when you’re always hungry. And I mean always.

Pretty sure I’m about to punch holes in walls.

Anyway. After all that, I went back down into the sewers to try to get some more stuff to make bombs with. Because apparently that’s where you find materials to make bombs. Which makes no sense to me, but hey. I did managed to get a few more bits and pieces, though, so with any luck I’ll be able to start on that little project sometime soon. Though not as soon as planned, ‘cause I totally forgot to go into the quarantine zone today and instead went back to Coastside to see the pirate ship.

While I was there I ran through the businesses around there are tried out the smoke bombs I bought from a shop in Wickbridge. Turns out they’re amazing and I think I’m in love with them. Also I really do feel like a ninja when I use them. I mean, it’s hard not to. Puff of smoke and then I’ve disappeared. It also meant I didn’t get into any fights with guards or whatever, which is a considerable step up from normal. I did use all the ones I bought, though, so I’m going to need to go and get some more of them as soon as I possibly can. Oh so many more, oh so very soon. They’re amazing little things. They really are.

Which, if anything, just makes me want to learn how to make them for myself even more. I think most of the things it takes to make them, outside of the fungi and chemical waste or whatever, can be found doing what I normally do, which means that I won’t, actually, have to pay for any of them ever again. Which is fantastic. I love the absolute hell out of free things. Like free money, which sadly has tailed off a bit lately. The rest of the stuff I had up for auction didn’t sell and I didn’t hear anything back from that Sundial person, so I’m going to need to work something else out for that I think.

Talking about free things, though. I was going through a warehouse and picking up all these weapons in terrible condition. Like, truly, truly terrible. But I found a knife that’s in fantastic condition and looks really, really pretty. Which is a little odd to say about a weapon, but this thing is fantastic. The thing on the end of the bit you hold looks like a dragon. A sleeping dragon. I mean, is it even possible to beat that? It’s probably my favourite thing I’ve ever found laying about like this. I did think about leaving a thank you note but then I decided that that might be a bit too far, really.

Seeing that I forgot to head to the quarantine zone earlier, even though I left myself a reminder on my phone (I’m blaming it on the head wound. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it), I think I might head that way a bit later on after I’m done in the High Noon Saloon. I’ve got into a bit of a regular thing here. Break into the businesses, have a look at the pirate ship and then stop off for a couple of drinks in there. It’s been good for making some contacts in the local criminal scene, too, though I haven’t actually met a decent fence yet. Which is hard to believe considering the number of gangsters and the like I’ve seen while I’ve been wandering around. It almost beggars belief, really, when you think about it.

It’s just lucky that the standard shops don’t seem too picky about where the stuff came from when they’re buying it off of you. Which is fantastic and makes my life so much easier it’s not even funny.

So yes. Quarantine zone later, ask around about a crafting bench or whatever the hell the thing I need is called. And put a load of the stuff that didn’t sell at auction back up and see what happens. With any luck people might want it this time. I figure that it’ll come and go like that as demand changes. With any luck, I’ll be in a position to supply that demand at most times. Because I really do like making money. Because then I can buy things. Like blood packs and possibly and apartment. Sleeping in the street is getting old.

[Amberly]

January 24th, 2015

Good news! I didn’t get attacked by a hunter again. This is a habit I really want to pick up and keep going. And the leg wound has healed. This has the side benefit of meaning I can actually walk quietly again, and that makes my nightly business just that much easier to get on with. It’s kinda tricky to avoid guards when you’re limping and leaking blood all over the place. Leaves a trail, for one thing, and makes it really obvious where you are with the distinctive dragging sound. Really glad that it’s gone away.

I did finally make it into the quarantine zone, though. It’s not as bad as I thought it might be, to be honest. I mean, the name doesn’t exactly inspire confidence or excitement, right? But it’s quite nice, to be fair. Sure, there’s a load of abandoned buildings, but there’s an apartment block in there that looks pretty nice and stuff. And a couple of shops. Which meant I could kill two birds with one stone - was able to ask around about a crafting bench and I stocked up on smoke bombs and a couple of bits and pieces I need to make them and the knockout ones. All in all, it was a pretty good trip.

After I’d left the lobby of that building (which was like something out of a demented gangster flick trying to work out what the 20s looked like), I wandered over to an abandoned fire department building of all places, ‘cause I had it on good authority that there was a crafting bench inside. Which I still don’t entirely understand, but I wasn’t about to question it. Especially when I found one on the inside and started tinkering around with things. I had a few false starts, but I was eventually able to make ten knockout bombs. I was very proud of myself. Still am.

They worked out quite nicely too, and they added to the whole ‘holy **** I feel like a ninja’ thing. Which is always awesome. I mean, the downside is that I had to get caught a few times to see how the things worked, but considering the fun I had testing them out I’m going to say that it was entirely worth it and I am incredibly tempted to do it again just for the look on their faces. I do need a snappy phrase to say though. I mean, Bond always gets to have something awesome to say after he’s used one of his gadgets and I think I deserve one if he gets one. ‘Night night’ doesn’t sound right. This is going to need a lot of thought.

I was doing all this in Coastside again, ‘cause I’ve really taken a liking to the stuff I can get from the businesses there. Good variety of everything and I can get into most of the places without too much trouble. And, as I’ve mentioned a couple of times before, there’s a pirate ship on the river. Which is always awesome. Talking about awesome, I’ve also worked out how to pick more complicated locks and I’m very proud of myself about that one too. It’s been a day for learning new things and generally getting better. And to think, I’ve only been a vampire for just over a week and I’m already awesome at it.

If you don’t count the feeding thing. Or the not getting attacked by hunters thing. Or the working out how to not be hungry all the time thing. I really need to get a handle on that last one. I mean, damn.

Because everything was going so well, though, I thought I’d stop by that raid (which was both still happening and close by in River Rock) to see how it would go given the now awesome level of my skill when it came to robbing places blind. Turns out that I’m not as awesome as I thought I was and I only managed to get to the second floor before getting thrown out of the place pretty damned hard. Which is inconsiderate, really, when you think about the head wound I have. I should threaten to sue them or something. Though it might not go too well for me. But it would entertain me briefly.

On the way there, though, I did run into a government agent who really, really wanted to ask me some questions. I found this quite annoying because I had places to be, but I decided to play along and humour him. I mean, I wasn’t about to give away that I’m the immortal undead who only walks by night, was I? That would be even more insane than that sentence sounds in my head. Which is pretty damned insane any way you slice it. For some reason though, the guy didn’t seem to enjoy my attempts to humour him and he attacked me. Me being the badass, blood drinking (kind of), immortal vampire that I am, I ran the hell away. And actually got away. Got to love the way the gunshot wound in my leg isn’t there anymore. You really have.

Not sure what I’m going to get up to tomorrow yet. I’m thinking that I might give the raid a shot again if it’s still open - which it probably will be, the length of time I’ve been hearing about it - and see how well I can do on a fresh day. Could (or should) probably try to make some more bombs, too. And see what else I can make, too. Because I can really see myself getting into tinkering with things and making stuff out of them. I really want to make a lock picking robot to do all the boring stuff for me so I can stand around looking out for guards. That’d be great. Like my own personal R2D2 and he can throw bombs at guards and beep sarcastically at things.

That was originally a joke but now I really, really want one. So yeah. I’m going to be trying to make that happen. So very, very hard.