♪ Being the grown up ♪ (Closed)

[Skylar]

She doesn't seem to know what her star sign is and doesn't seem to want to volunteer a date so I can help her pin her down. Aside from the obviously fact that most women know this kind of thing - a fair few men too - I do still kind of have to wonder how someone gets to the age of thirty three without ever learning that piece of trivia about themselves. Whatever the reason is she doesn't know, I'm not going to ask and I'm not going to push. The idea of tonight was to make the woman like me... If that were at all possible. Besides, I don't really have much time to ask about it anyway as she soon sets off into what sounds like some sort of anti-capitalist rant.
I nod and listen. What she says makes a certain amount of sense but then the point wasn't just to donate to charity, it was to have some fun while doing it. If you were going to gamble, why not do it on a charity night when your bad luck could be someone else's good fortune. I let her ramble on and don't even try to interrupt. She doesn't seem like the sort that's easily swayed so telling her my perspective probably won't do much.
When the subject switches back to family, I'm shocked to hear that she's pretty much alone in the world. Well blood relations wise. Human blood relations that is. Not vampiric, obviously, because, hello, I'm standing right here; technically the woman's my grandmother.
"I haven't seen them yet. Exchanged a few texts. Chatted on facebook. You know. The usual twenty-first century ********. I'm pretty sure I'll have to put in an appearance at Christmas but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I'm not exactly the favourite. Black sheep remember? So if they don't see me for several months at a time, they're not exactly disappointed. My brother and sister are probably home every weekend for the family meal. Suck ups."
I roll my eyes. I don't mind being excluded from that kind of thing. It was my choice to never go. I had an open invitation. I mean I am family, even if sometimes both them and me like to pretend otherwise. It's not that I don't like my siblings exactly, we just have very little in common. I mean I'd go as far to say I actually like my brother. I looked up to him a lot when I was younger. He's the reason I play the guitar. Of course I'm better at it than he is. My sister's more for a pain in the arse. But at least I never had to worry about her borrowing my clothes, as she hates my style. There were never two more different siblings than her and me.
"You know if you aren't having fun here, we could cash out already; give what's left to that church you mentioned. I mean I'm easy. I don't mind where the money goes. I'm sure we could find something else to do to entertain ourselves."
While I was happy to stay and gamble, it wasn’t essential to achieving the overall goal for the night. Hell we could go back to Ellie’s and play on the Wii for all I cared. Though I’m not sure if the woman actually likes fun. Though that’s a bit harsh maybe. I’m sure she knows how to have fun, I’m just not exactly sure what it is that she does for shits and giggles.

[Pi dArtois]

Pi was getting into the swing of things. Winning was fun, even if the win was a lie created by statistical odds that were never in favour of the punter. Never would be. She could see how others could be sucked into the void belief they were the few, the upper percentile who would beat the odds and come out winners in a game they already knew they’d lose. It was hard not to enjoy the thrill of the win, bask in the envious stares as you racked your winnings into a growing pile in front of you. Pi smiled, her lips curving slightly.

It was also a good reason why she made it a point not to come around. Pi did like winning. Apparently, quite a lot. She turned her smile towards Skylar. There was no sense in letting the expression go to waste.

She’d placed another set of chips onto red before Skylar spoke. It was a crap shot, a one in two chance of winning and some mathematical calculation of odds that came with words like ‘more likely’ ‘less likely’ and no way to expect a win. There was fun in that too, the unknown, a gamble on a likelihood you couldn’t predict. Pi being the overly cautious creature that she was felt a rather prurient thrill at betting the third time. Odds being what they were, this would be the one she’d fail on. But it was the potential that she wouldn’t that had her staring back at the quiet roulette wheel, as others placed their bets, waiting on bated breath for that moment.

Yes. Gambling was bad. Very very bad.

Skylar talked of her family. Like Elliot did, with rough affection, easy and automatic. There were assumptions people made about people who had been raised in care (not that Pi had said as much, but she knew it of herself none the less), that their lives had been miserable and they lived in a state of continue apology for their own lot. Pi didn’t. (or she didn’t think she did). But she observed that she didn’t have this gruff acceptance others had when they talked about their family units. Like Skylar had. Chatting on FB, texting cousins and Uncles, maybe even Aunts and siblings.

Before Elliot had convinced her otherwise, Pi would have heard Skylar’s plan to go for Christmas and immediately got her back up, words flowing as if she’d read directly from the ancient text governing the laws of being a vampire and reiterating them to this young vampire by rote. But that had been a few years in the changing, the lack of that automatic response. Tonight she just leaned back on the table, keeping her position because her bet had been made and she waited like others did. She didn’t fold her arms (as she’d have done not an hour ago), instead letting herself relax a little, arms hanging loosely at her side so her palms rested on either side of her hips, flat along the roulette table behind her.

“It’ll be hard I think.. seeing family after this. I know Elliot. Well, he only has his mother, and he .. we aren’t always sure what we will do about that.. but it’s possible, easier since you can eat. Easier still if you can… make excuses about not staying. Just be careful if you have to go.. and come talk to us if you do. Before you go. So we can.. help you make a plan to .. get out if you need.”

It wasn’t a big speech and despite how she felt about the masquerade (an opinion as strongly held as her own didn’t change over night), she could see how a person could make it work without having to kill every known relative who might be curious about you on Facebook. She’d come a long way. And she was proud of that. Even if Elliot would be the only person who could really appreciate it.

“I … well, I’d say avoid it if you can. Avoid them for the rest of their lives if that’s possible. But Elliot has convinced me.. this tack is not always practical… or sensible. So if you have to .. just be smart.”

It was the clack of the little small ball that caught Pi’s attention, spinning her around where she stood so she could watch the ball jump over and over along the spinning edge of the wheel. It landed first on the black and her heart (dead, non-beating thing that it was) jumped in her chest. It bounced again, slinging off the side of the number spacers, plinking a few more times as the wheel came to a grinding stop.

“RED!” Called the croupier and Pi grinned, sliding her gaze back to Skylar and she shook her head. “I’m fine to stay.”

“How about.. we don’t try to lose. But just.. play?” Pi suggested. “You tell me about you… between games. I’ll talk to you about me. Between.. other games and if we win.. lots of money. We choose where it is spent .. charity that is. If we lose… well, they can. This charity who is running things. Sound good?”

It was a compromise. A good one Pi thought. She could be distracted by gambling and not dwell so much on how badly (or well) she was bonding with this new blood childe of Elliot’s and they might at the end of the night… find some common ground. Pi couldn’t really see it yet (this utopian common ground they sought) but she was at least willing to give it a go.

“Siblings?” S he asked quietly, scooping her chips towards her, stacking them neatly in the holder then picking them up. “Do you have those. I had a few foster ones growing up… but I don’t think those are the same thing.”

[Skylar]

I listen. I have no problem listening to others as they speak. I hear what they say, I just might not take what they say on board. Just because you hear what someone says, doesn't mean you have to agree with them or do what they tell you to. In fact I'm far more likely not to do what they say if its presented as some kind of order. Well unless I was going to do what they;r telling me to anyways. As it is. I have no problem being careful. I mean it's not just my secret now is it. Though there's a good chance I wouldn't sit down for a powwow with Pi and Ellie first. I was planning on asking Ric to come with me. If I could find a way of presenting that I thought he might accept. the safety thing probably wasn't a bad route to go. I mean it's in his best interest not to let me out myself and my kind too. Mum would pitch a fit if I showed up to dinner with Ric. Not that I'd likely be on time for dinner. Not by the time I came around. I nod though. she can think what she likes. I listened at least.
I watch as she places her bet and try to imagine never seeing my family again. I mean as much as we don't always see eye to eye, I really can't imagine going the rest of my life without seeing them. I'm not sure what I'll do ten years from now, cos I won't be aging and they're bound to notice something then... I guess then I'll have to do the long distance thing. Tel them I've moved or something. ****. My music. How am I going to keep performing? I guess I'll have to like dye my hair and get contacts or something. I start to get depressed at the thought cos I'm not good at being anyone but me and I'd probably have to find a new band or something. I love the guys. The thought of not seeing them again hurts worse than not seeing my parents. Of all my family Brett's about the only one it'd really hurt to miss.
"I can be smart."
She doesn't know me. She doesn't know I have a brain. I probably don't use it as often as perhaps I should but it's there. I'm not stupid. I just don't always - or rather ever - think things through.
The croupier calls out red. I'm not surprised. pi's playing the odds. We'd had black twice so far. It was bound to hit red soon. I smile at her. The woman was lucky. If she was really lucky, we might be able to take my funds and triple them. That would make a great donation to whatever charity she chose. I quickly do the math. We're up already. So even if we walked now, that church would be better off than the charity the casino is funding tonight.
"I'm down with winning. I don't usually play to win though to be honest. I play to play. After this we should try the Black Jack table. That's a pretty simple game. I really should have learned more about poker by now but for some reason it goes in one ear and out the other with me. When I play with the guys I often end up in my underwear. Oh, we play strip poker."
I clarify, in case it's not clear from what I'd said about ending up in my undies. I'm usually the only girl at the table and I kinda think they must be sick of the sight of me by now. I swear they gang up on me. Or make up hands that don't exist. one of these days I'm actually going to google and learn the rules, so I can call them on their ****. I'm pretty sure they make the rules up as they go, but then I'm usually too drunk to care when we play.
"It's fun. If you're drunk enough. We generally just play cards, trade insults and stuff. I love my friends. They're nuts. But you don't have to worry about them. I mean Dillon's pretty much always with me then. He'll stop me doing anything stupid."
I missed the last spin, but I'm not going to miss this one. I take a pile of chips and distribute them across the board. I place a few on twenty-eight, that being my age. I chuck a couple on one, since I was born on the first. Then the last few I put on eight. Though that feels a bit morbid being the date I died and all.
"And I have two siblings."
I'm pretty sure I've already told her this but I figure she's fishing for more information on them. It's that or she wasn't really paying attention. Maybe she was taking in the scene or something. It's possible she was squashing the urge to want to kill me. I don't much care what the reason is really. I mean yeah I don't like repeating myself but then who does? We aren't perfect creatures. We're still innately human and I don't know anyone - myself included - that isn't guilty of living in their own mind at times and missing some of what's been said to them.
"Brett and Alexis."
I behind to elaborate further, actually naming my siblings, though the names probably mean nothing to the woman.
"Brett's older than me. Alexis is younger. Brett's an investment bankers, Alexis is a kept woman. They rag on me for not having a carrier or a man. I don't think my parent's much care which I get, so long as I have one or the other. They don't rally appreciate my lifestyle. And that was before... well... you know."
I think back to what she's told me. She's an only child and both her parents are dead. I guess I can't really ask her about her family then. Well, not her mortal one anyway.
"So... How'd you meet Ellie? I bet there's a story there. Did you know he was the one for you like right away?"
I change the subject, slightly as the croupier finalises the betting before he spins the wheel again. The subject seems apt to me, I mean Ellie's still family. Pi and are family. Only it's a different sort of lineage, this vampire one. Talking about Ellie seems like the best option. It might not be a particularly safe one but he was the reason we were here and she wasn't going to learn how I felt about him if we avoided the topic. At least this way she knows I know he's hers and that I respect the fact. I kinda, sorta love Ellie but not in any carnal fashion. How anyone couldn't love Ellie is beyond me; I mean he's a super sweet guy.

[Pi dArtois]

“I know you are smart.” Pi replied, mostly for form. Cause what else was she meant to say, ‘no I think you’re as stupid as a brick’? Hardly an acceptable response and it wasn’t true anyway. Pi didn’t think Skylar was stupid at all. Not really. Pi was mostly jealous, a lot frustrated at Skylar’s attitude and realised a good portion of her issues stemmed from herself and her reactions to Skylar’s actions. Which weren’t always good. Okay, they had been far from good and would only get worse unless Pi made some concerted effort to adjust them. Like now.

“But I figure, if you need advice, we… well, Elliot since I don’t have a family, are good people to ask. And I can play Black Jack… not well, but.. I can play” Cause how hard was it to count your cards to twenty-one. She had no skill it in, but the basic mechanics she could handle. “We can do that next, oui?”

Then Sky started talking about her brother and sister.

The siblings had names you’d expect of siblings of a woman named Skylar, almost soap opera names, pulled out of the imaginations of a mother who had delusions of grandeur, or actual grandeur and had named her children accordingly. Mostly likely a romantic book reader who had read a hero or heroine named Brett and immediately went about convincing her husband that it was a manly mans name, a fitting first name for their first (and only son). Pi smiled again at her thought, rather enjoying her mental outtakes. She should probably share her humour with someone but she wasn’t entirely certain anyone would appreciate her biting observations. They weren’t always very generous. To anyone.

She could tell Skylar was fond of her family, despite her earlier frustration. As Pi suspected family was a gravitational pull, a necessary requirement to life for people who had always grown up with one and expected, no matter the time or distance, that the family would always be there. Skylar certainly seemed to.

“My sibling experience are only with ones that never lasted that long. A couple here and there but you don’t really feel like family.. when you’re not really a part of the family at all. But they didn’t really appreciate my…. Lifestyle either” Pi replied. And it was true, at least that much they had in common, a lack of familial acceptance of the humans t hey had chosen to be. The only difference being hers stemmed mostly from the fact she was a barely welcome changeling in their midst.

This time Pi didn’t bet when Skylar laid her chips on the table. Instead she chose to watch, letting the other woman have a go at winning or losing, as the capricious odds would dictate. It gave Pi time to digest what the other woman was saying to her (which was a whole lot) and it wasn’t always clear which ones she should interrupt and answer to so instead she waited for her to be done, letting the woman share and listening.

She wasn’t always an attentive listener, even Elliot would tell her that she lost the thread of the conversation answering only what she thought was important and sometimes inconveniently forgetting to answer other things. She was working on that too but sometimes, especially when a person talked and talked and talked (like Sky just did) it was hard to keep up with the information dump and all you could do was filter and answer what you could.

Leaning against the table she watched Sky as the other woman watched the roulette wheel her attention fully captured now with the question that had been asked of her. Such a simple one, how did you meet, yet so hard to answer. She had no warm fuzzy story that told of eyes meeting across the length of a crowded bar (there was a bar of course, but there were no romantic looks). Pi couldn’t relate some wonderfully soft story about how she knew when she saw him that Elliot was ‘the one’ and that her life had changed from the moment she’d set eyes on him. (although in a way that was true, but hardly one she thought would end up with him and her so intimately entwined).

“I killed him.” Pi stated blandly, letting that statement drop like a nuke bomb into the conversation to percolate there through Sky’s attention, which was riveted on the table. “At the time, no… I didn’t think he was the one. At all. It took a couple years for either of us to figure that out ... the hard way.”

She finished with a small secretive and mischievous smile. Oh she knew what she was doing, she knew she’d purposely dropped that verbal bomb in the hopes of shocking or amusing the other woman, because there was no really good way to explain how they had met. And the real truth was that someone else had ‘killed’ Elliot.. or killed him near enough Pi had to save him to … save him.

Her first act of heroism and it turned into one of the best decisions of her life. “Much like.. he killed you.” Pi then added, cause she was just amused enough at her own dark humour to add Sky into the mix too.

[Skylar]

As it turned out, tonight was not my night. I had several numbers on the board covered and yet the ball dropped elsewhere. We'd discussed moving to the black jack table to try our luck there and as my chips are swept away I look to Pi with a nod of my head. The woman likely doesn't even know what the nod means, but I wanted it to say 'okay I'm done here let's move on.' Only, the subject had moved swiftly on and I wasn't sure how to reply to any of what she said. She spoke of being dead so easily and while the place was raucous at best, I still don't think it's wise to be throwing around the 'k' word. I mean what if someone did overhear? How would that sound. She doesn't exactly look like a killer but if killers looked like killers they'd be easy to spot, right?
I pick up my stuff and smile at Pi.
"I think I need a drink. Then we can hit the black jack table. As it turns out roulette... Not my thing. At least it isn't tonight."
I wait to see if she's ready to relinquish her winning streak at the table and follow, and while I wait, I fill the void with words.
"There's a hard way to figuring out you like someone?"
It's not much of a question and I don't give the woman time to answer before I'm taking again.
"I'm not sure I'd figure it out at all to be honest. Not if there was a hard way to it. I'm more of 'feel it now' kinda gal. Like I see a guy and I just know I have to have him. Not that they generally last very long, the relationships that is, not the guys. I'm not like insulting their prowess or anything."
I giggle at my crudeness. I'm not really sure why my mind went there but it did. I'm probably frustrated. It's only been six weeks or so since I last had sex; though I really shouldn't count that particular time with Dillon as I really wasn't into it and we were interrupted and all. Still, I'm kinda, sorta, seeing Ric and while being in a relationship with a guy should mean alleviating that kind of stress is a given, Ric is not most guys and there's practically no chance of me getting in his pants any time soon.
"I just tend to choose wrong'uns. I can pretty much guarantee the moment I like a guy - Like, like like, not just like... if that makes any sense at all - that he's a complete an utter arsehole and I'd probably be better off just passing him by. I don't know what it is about bad boys that I can't resist but it is what it is. They're my own personal catnip."
I nod. Just because I know this, doesn't mean that I'm capable of ignoring that kind of attraction. Like I said. Catnip. I had a radar for bad guys and it seemed to me that I had to follow through to burn them out of my system. That's probably why my relationships never last that long. After a while, I'm tired of the same old ******** that comes from dating that type of guy. Not to mention, they don't particularly have a good track record of being faithful. I mean I've never been cheated on, not after that first time anyways. You keep the relationship short enough and you can almost guarantee that. Providing you aren't the other woman, and I'm never that; I refuse to be that.
"I like my guys tall, dark and handsome too. Though not as tall as you like your guys."
I nudge Pi with my elbow and smile at her.
"I'm pretty sure I'd need to carry a stepladder around with me to date a guy as tall as Ellie, Elliot."
I correct the name, but I don't really need to. Then it occurs to me and that she and I aren't all that different height wise. And yes. I'm babbling. I've skipped over the killing issue and managed to make the whole conversation about guys.
"Hmm... You know what... How do you date a guy that tall?"
I cast a quizzical eye over my companion.
"I mean I like my guys taller than me but there's tall and then there's Elliot."
I laugh. I wasn't really aware of the fact that we'd moved to the bar while we'd been talking. I guess underneath it all I'm a typical girl after all, the conversation moved to guys and I was swept away by it; even if I had been the one to move the conversation in that direction in the first place.
Standing at the bar, I order my favourite drink - JD and coke over ice - and finally let my lips go still. I'm kinda parched after all this talking. Strange though, I could probably sing longer than I can talk without needing a drink. Or maybe I just need a drink because - as well as this night is going so far - the woman before me still intimidates the crap out of me. Not that I'd show it.

[Pi dArtois]

“Yes.” Pi answered blandly, her eyes resting on the woman before turning and moving towards the bar, waiting for Sky to step in beside before continuing. “The hard way is attempting to kill both of his girlfriends before figuring out what you really wanted, was what they had.”

It wasn’t a story that was likely to make her look any worse than she already did with Sky but it might explain a few of the personality quirks she had when it came to Elliot, the insecurity and the lack of boundries when it came to putting brakes on her instincts. Or maybe it would just make her look more like the crazy ***** she already was. It was hard to tell. But it was a good part of her and Elliot’s past, Pi dealing (not very well) with his previous flames. Kamikazi, in her wheelchair (which Pi always thought was an odd choice – but maybe, Elliot being Elliot not so much) and then Irene, the worst of them, with their mutual pasts and their love affair that had turned tragic, so tragic Elliot had turned the woman and Pi had officially lost the plot.

It had been that relationship that had broken the camels back. A past she couldn’t compete with. With some conscious will she pulled herself away from that topic. Despite the fact Irene had left the city (and since Elliot couldn’t ‘feel’ her anymore – was likely dead) Pi had nothing to worry about. But that time in their relationship had been a rough one, bittersweet, heartbreaking and ultimately joyous, but man had they walked a rocky road to get to where they were now.

“I… it took me a while to figure out my feelings. ” Pi replied to Sky’s statement about just knowing right away. Pi wasn’t one to trust easily or simply. But once she did it was rock solid and unwavering. She gave her all to the people she dedicated herself to. It just took a while for the people to get to that point. Most of the obstacles to it, were ones Pi threw up herself. Which was probably why she’d only had sex… well, twice since meeting Elliot. Once with… Doc (God, just the thought of the mess they’d both made of that made her want to throw her hands up) and then Elliot. Her sexual experience was limited and all of it in the last.. 2 years of her life.

Picky wasn’t the half of it.

And yes, she did ‘like them’ tall and she tried to smile at Sky’s joke, because even she, with her wilted sense of humour understood what the woman was trying to do. She was trying to find common ground and conversation. Like women had conversations about things like men and sex and other things. Pi wasn’t there yet, but she wanted to be, rather thought it was important for her to get there with someone other than Elliot.

“I have strong neck muscles.” Pi answered with a flat expression, throwing a rather lame joke in there and realizing after she’d said it what it might be construed as. Since Sky’s innuendo had been of a sexual bent her brain immediately jumped to why her neck muscles would need to be strong and her grin widened even as her cheeks (if they could blush) burned hot at the thoughts running through her mind.

Skylar had managed to hold up her end of the dialogue single handedly all the way to the bar and was ordering, giving Pi necessary time to pull her act together.

She wasn’t really a robot, but she was rusty, a tin man who needed an oil can and someone with enough patience to keep her joints from rusting up from disuse. She wanted to be friends with people but invariably found it hard to just… socialize. But it was looking up, because she was, in her way, having a good time. Sure her inner dialogue was still skeptical, but she was laughing and joking and wasn’t that just a crack at oral sex? Surely that was a step in the right direction.

Surely.

The bar was central to the casino, one of about three that dotted along the cavernous room, making libation convenient, as if the odds weren’t good enough for the house they threw a little alcohol into the mix to make them even better.

The black jack tables were close too, a grouping of them, with chairs available at a few. Some had eagle eyed patrons sitting at him, their busy fingers caressing the cards as if they held their futures on their turn. And they probably did. It probably wasn’t good idea for them to head that way.

“Elliot makes it easy to love him. I don’t even consider him that much taller.. although he is. Do you have someone.. that guy, at the auction? Who is he? Another wrong decision?”

Pi had to think whether she had asked this question before and couldn’t recall. She was awful at this, but she was curious, about who Skylar was with, what she wanted. They say familiarity breeds contempt but Pi thought the opposite was true, in this case, she hoped familiarity bred … understanding and maybe… friendship.

Maybe.

[Skylar]

I can't help but smile as Pi seems to actually joke around with me. The bit about the exes didn't escape my attention though and I could see that. I'm not sure if i think she seems the sort to get all jealous even over someone that isn't hers or if I think she's just the sort that likes to fight. Like maybe life has treated her pretty shitty and she doesn't really feel that she deserves something unless she's fought for it. Though maybe I'm reading too much into her backstory, I don't know that much about her but don't orphans usually have that kind of history. The shitty kind. As much as I hate my parents at times, there's no way I could imagine having lived my life without them to push me into every decision - right or wrong - that I've ever made.
"Well look at you making a joke like that. If you wanna talk dirty, you may have to find a way to join in on the drinking cos I'm used to talking filth with guys. And man if their brains ain't hardly ever out of the gutter."
I laugh as I pay for my drink and wink to the bartender. He's not my type and I'm pretty sure I'm not his but he smiles at me anyways. There's nothing wrong with a little harmless flirtation.
"Is he ever."
I take a swig of my drink and eye the black jack tables as I try to figure out the best way to describe my relationship with Ric. I'm not entirely sure we have one, at least not a conventional one, not one that could be defined or quantified at this point.
"I already know it... but... catnip remember?"
I smile warmly at the warrior woman besides me. She's playing nice, which makes me paying nice even easier. Not that I'm so much playing nice, as playing me.
"He is the guy from the auction, Ric, and I think he's a real hottie. He's so totally my type it's unfunny. He can be a complete and utter arsehole at times but occasionally he has this kind of sweet side to him too. Very occasionally that is. So occasionally in fact that sometimes I wonder if I'm remembering things wrong. But yeah, typical of my type. And of course he's convinced he doesn't date. I did tell you I like a challenge too right? And man is he a challenge."
I take another sip of my drink.
"At the risk of making you hate me. I seriously wish at times that I could fall for a guy like Elliot. I mean he's what every woman's dream should be right? He's got the whole tall, dark and handsome thing going on. He's warm and polite and dependable. I just... I dunno. Somewhere along the line when I was picking guys just to piss off my mom, I guess I kinda developed a taste for them. I dunno."
I shrug. If I thought about it, I could probably blame some childhood fantasy story for my love of the wrong kind of guy. I kinda had a thing for Robin Hood, though he was a little more good than bad, not to mention he was a fox. It's kinda twisted but I guess it happens. It was Robin or Aladdin for me and Aladdin was a thief. So maybe I've always had a type. The princes never really did anything for me now I think about it.

[Pi dArtois]

She smiled at Skylar, her lips lifting of their own accord and gracing the woman with a real grin. Not one that was manufactured but a real one, a little uncertain, a little less exuberant than the ones she’d thrown the woman earlier in the night (and somewhat superficial), but real.. this one was real.

And she settled into what could only term ‘girl talk’. Men, how they act, a little flirtatious winking and then back to discussion about men. It felt a little normal, a little .. relaxed and Pi like it. She really did.

Until. Skylar took it too far.

Why did she do that? Why did she have to make whole statements Pi couldn’t ignore and neither could her wolf. Did Sky not glean enough from her conversation with one another that Pi wasn’t the kind who could easily talk about Elliot as if he were a party favour that could be coveted and passed around and Pi could easily stand back and magnanimously laugh and joke about it.

Pi didn’t have that well a developed girlfriend ‘chip’. She wasn’t that person (not yet, maybe not ever) and the minute Skylar switched topics Pi’s eyes narrowed and her back found a rod (probably from the location of her ***) and straightened up and away.

It was telling body language, the tilting of the chin, the slight breathing lift to the chest and a posture so ram rod erect she’d almost come to attention. All that time spent before, gone, and Pi’s gaze sleeted over, frost pushing away soft blue to leave something chilled and arctic in its place.

They were walking, towards black jack and her steps were wooden, the clopping of wooden feet on lush carpet, movement, only movement to mask her flare of irritation and anger.

Except, she didn’t want to be angry, not right now, not with this woman, especially not after she’d spoken to Elliot and promised him to try. All those minutes that had gone on before and the effort they had both put into tonight couldn’t be lost with one careless word and the reciprocally untempered response. So Pi tried to pull it back. She held her tongue and worked on calming her spike of anger.

It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t natural for her not to react. It took her longer than it was normal for polite reply but she rather thought it was more important for her to calm the hell down than it was for her not to wait too long to form a witty response to what was probably just a good natured comment. Good natured. Jesus, she was a wreck and it had been a simple statement. Maybe there was something wrong with her (okay, she was already aware there was, but she was sorta hoping she was a healthy work in progress). This interlude (all of it, not just this moment) was showing her that maybe she wasn’t all that … over it. Or normal.

What had Skylar been walking about prior to this, Ric, that was it, her man, the one at the auction who didn’t like to date. Not Elliot. Never Elliot. Okay, maybe Elliot at the end but she could ignore that comment about Elliot (safer, better) and concentrate on Ric, Ric, the non-dating potential boyfriend with issues. (God, didn’t they just all have issues).

“Catnip?” She asked, swallowing past the spit in her mouth so she could continue talking. Talking once, was helping, keeping it calm and easy and simple. Not being a crazy nut bag girlfriend with issues. No issues.

“He seems like a challenge alright…” she said, pushing the words out as she closed the distance between bar and black jack table in record time. “But the good ones usually are.. even if they think they don’t date.” She finished, her marathon sprint to black jack the finale to her sentence and she was hoping, an end to any more innuendo about Elliot.

"Is he worth it then? This .. Ric? Why is he?"

[Skylar]

I notice the silence but don't push it since I can feel whatever it is I feel from her right now. It's kind of weird, this new superpower, it feels a bit like I'm spying on the neighbours through binoculars; I'm an emotion based peeping Tom. I'm hoping that one day the emotions will be easier to pick apart and decipher. Right now it's like trying to look through an old pair of grimy lenses that haven't been focused properly. I can get the gist of what's going on around me but I'm missing the finer details, which means I'm kind of making some of it up when I try to fill in the blanks in my mind. I must have said something wrong but if I did I have no idea what it was. I think I was pretty clear about Elliot not being my type.
"Yeah catnip. It's a plant or something and it drives cats nuts. They make toys with it in and stuff. Cats are attracted to it for whatever reason. And that's what bad boys are for me. My own personal catnip."
I explain it as best I can and hope I make sense. But maybe I don't explain it as best I can because I'm a little too eager to answer her questions about Ric. Though what I'm gonna say I don't know. I mean I like the guy and I like a challenge and Ric's more challenging than any guy I've ever met, but I'm not sure if he's worth it. Not yet. I mean we're still hanging out and getting to know one another. Actually he flaked on me the other night and I haven't seen him since. **** knows what he's doing. He did send his ghost thing to speak to me though. At least I think it was his. Why he didn't just pick up the phone I'll never know. So yeah. He's MIA and I'm here trying to figure out what to say about him.
"I like him, but I'm not sure if he's worth it yet. I mean we've been hanging out pretty regularly for the last month or so. More since the auction. And at first it was always me making excuses to see him and stuff but he seems to be seeking me out at times too now. So that's gotta be good. And I mean he did buy me at auction, even though I'd of hung out with him for free."
I don't sit at the black jack table, I stand and wait to see if Pi wants to take a seat instead. I mean there's no point both of us playing and to be honest my head's not really in the game; even if all you have to do is count to twenty-one. I have no idea where Ric is or what he's doing; not that I'm his keeper, he's a big boy, he can do what he wants. If he were any other guy I might think he's off with another girl or something, and even though I think he's different I guess it's still possible. I mean most guys are dogs. Certainly the ones I usually date, so why I think Ric is any different, god only knows. Maybe it’s the fact that he doesn't seem at all interested in the fairer sex, or any sex actually. I'm not suggesting the guy's gay, he's just a bit a-sexual maybe. God I hope I'm wrong in that though, cos having an a-sexual boyfriend has got to suck.
"He's definitely difficult to pin down."
I manage to shake my thoughts loose and continue to ramble about the guy that may or may not be my boyfriend.
"I haven't seen him for a couple of days now. We had plans to go to the hunting grounds cos he was going to hunt and I was gonna take pictures but he didn't show. Sent some spirit thing to tell me he'd be MIA, though the spirit thing called him 'master' rather than Ric but I'm pretty sure it was Ric's. I'm sure he'll explain when I see him next."
I shrug and set my chips down but I more or less set them down in front of Pi so that she can gamble big if she feels like it. She'd done well at the roulette table, so if her luck holds at the card table, that charity of hers was gonna be rolling in it by the time she's through. Okay. So maybe rolling in it is a slight exaggeration but they'll be better off than they were, at least that's the plan.
“I don’t know what it is about that guy if I’m honest. He got under my skin the night we met. I pretty much knew he was my type the moment I saw him but that wasn’t why I tried to talk to him. He was the first… one of us I’d seen outside of Elliot and I guess I was curious. And we all know what curiosity did to the cat.”
I laugh, cos this is the second time I’ve kind of compared myself to a feline. I’m not really an animal person but that doesn’t mean I can’t share the traits of one. I guess cat would work well enough. I mean I’m loyal like a dog but cats do what they want, when they want and generally bed down where they feel like it. Great. I sigh to myself, realising for the first time that I might actually be some kind of humanoid stray.

[Pi dArtois]

Pi sat, not because she really wanted to play Black Jack but because Skylar didn’t sit herself and loitering around the table didn’t seem the thing. Everyone else was sitting, and by the look thrown her way by the dealer she rather felt she needed to. With her own chips and those Skylar placed in front of her Pi had more than enough to bet.

The gleaming looks slid her way by those already at the table made her a little nervous. This was different from roulette, where a wheel with no skill on her part decided whether she won or lost. In this game the reliance was on her ability to count to twenty one and adequately play the odds of potential turns from what she could see of the cards face up in front of everyone else. Skill was needed here, skill Pi sadly didn’t have. Looking to her left and her right she shrugged. She couldn’t pretend to be good at something she wasn’t’ so she’d have to fake it. Isn’t that what people said these days, to fake it until you make it? Pi thought that was appropriate because it was definitely going to be what she’d employ.

At least she had the count to twenty one sorted. That would have to do.

“I’m not sure I’m the best judge of what is the right way to .. be with someone.” She answered, looking around the table for clues about how she was meant to bet. “Ummm one thousand.” She said then, pushing forward the appropriate chips and hoping to hell the dealer knew what to do with them.

“Elliot is the first person I have dated long term.” She admitted, blandly. “so what experience I have to tell you about is probably not as… informed as other people.” Looking up at the woman who stood to the side of her Pi shrugged. “Just go with your gut… that’s what I do.”

Pi smiled then, her lips peeling back to reveal shiny teeth, two of them a little too sharp for normal standards. Go with your gut. Like me. Yeah, she said it, and meant it too, even if she silently acknowledged that her gut was prone to fits of violence that were sometimes controlled, and sometimes, definitely not. Especially when it came to Elliot.

Her lack of relationship experience was probably the basis for a large part of her neurosis about the man too. What did you do when you love something a little too much? Probably exactly what she was doing. Territorial, jealous, unreasonable. A whole bunch of words that describe exactly how you didn’t go about conducting a relationship.

“Or maybe you shouldn’t go with your gut.” She qualified, turning back around to the table surprised that there were cards in front of her and the people at the table waiting for her instructions.

“Hit” she told the dealer, the ten and three in front of her needed a friend.