The Musings of Keara Aithne

[Keara Aithne]

27th November 2014

Saddens me it does that we all together cannot work. Try I do for the family together to bring and yet seems it does that we all to our familiars do keep. Adore I do for with any of my family to work. Mind I do not how skilled or how proficient they may be. Mind I do not if we the last floor do not reach even. Though nice it is for this once in a while to do. The challenge all the greater is with every staircase that climb we do. Love though I do for to see that together we all do work. Even if in smaller groups work we must. Pride have I in my blood. Never did I imagine that such feelings for others possible were when first sired I did. Now imagine I cannot a world in which I my family do not have. Think I do that Ven happy would be if see me now he could. Like I think he would that his blood through others even now does flow. That forgotten he never shall be. Believe this I do, as know I do that if but one of my childer this would could survive, if destroyed I was, that happy that knowledge me would make. Pray I do daily that such an occurrence ne’er shall happen. Survived I have one holocaust. Wish I do not for another e’er to witness.

[Keara Aithne]

28th November 2014

Leif happy in our accomplishment is. But then happy she always is when such a result we do achieve. Happy I am that this Enver distracted has kept. Little talk of sad things there has been. Know I do that the emotions still within him are. Leave him soon they shall not. Love him all the more I must. This the only option is that have I do for him to help. Love and patience. Know I do that he patience with me must have. Time his pain shall lessen. Though believe I do the saying is, that darkest it is before the dawn. The worst first must happen before he his peace once more can find.

[Keara Aithne]

30th November 2014

Patience. Love and patience. Remember this I must when wish I do for the life from him to drain. Quite melancholy he is. Like it I do not. Love easy is. That he shall always have But patience? This a more difficult practice is. Thinking he is of his mortality. Too late it is for of such things to think. Though perhaps this no real issue is. Thought I often have that he his path as he should has not embraced. Of course force that upon him I cannot. He his own way, in his own time must find. Endearing his behaviour usually is. Hope I do that he many aspects of himself to time does not lose. Only wish I did that he his former life would not mourn. That he more to his future could look. Our future. Think like me he need not. Capable I am for to plan for us both. But easier our path would be, if we the road together could walk. Though of course we that shall do in physical plane. Mean only I do that nice it would be for us upon the same page at times to be. Though of course that often true too is. Oh. Know I do not of that which I write. A line through this all I should pen. Love I do my husband. Change I hope he never does.

[Keara Aithne]

2nd December 2014

Caution one must have when wishes into the universe they send. Burned I should have the words that last I wrote. Thinking now only of the future he is. Mortality and future all born of regret. Desires he does a child. A real child. Not a childe. The reason for this I cannot fathom. Hope I do that it but a whim is. Too much in his own head he has been. Barely able we are for 2 puppies to control. Those our children are. Our babies. And now our babies, will babies have. Trust us with a human child I dare not. Think I do that he to his senses in time shall come. The alternative unthinkable is. Could I his request honour? If he truly a child did want. Could I a child raise? Of course adoption the only option for us would be. Life from unlife cannot come. What would we with a child do? One that so dependent upon us both would be. How could we our nature hide? Would it cruel of us be for an infant into our world to bring? Oh no. Much more thought this topic does require. More thought. More time. For both of us. Beginning to think I am that my husband his mind has lost to grief and Emilee yet lives. Despair I do for to think what suggest he might once she her final breath has drawn.

[Keara Aithne]

3rd December 2014

Today a quiet time for reflection was. For me. For him. Speak on the subject more I refuse to do. Understand I do that worried he is. That sees he does an end to what was. Realise he must that the future, without her, a worrying thing need not be. Hope I do that if refuse I do for this to discuss that he to his senses shall come. See we shall though. In time. Time always necessary in such things is. Quick we were for to marry but that right did feel. Something in this not right is. Perhaps time his mind shall change. His, or mine. Though prefer I would for my mind to keep. My instincts seldom wrong are.

[Keara Aithne]

5th December 2014

Today our son in blood I did find. His own it was not but that the shock of it did not temper. Kind soul he is, our Peter. Takes I think he does after Enver. Humanity strong in him is. Tried he did for another today to sire. Realised he did not the limitations our kind. Of course helped in this he can be. Ritual there is for such limitations to overcome. A new future to him opened has been. But believe I do that dwell he shall upon this loss. His loss. His friend. A share of the blame in this take I should, for told him I had not that one day he his limit would reach. Believe I do not that this with any of mine till now a problem has been. More careful. More guided my teaching in the future should be. Specifics told should be. Then avoid perhaps we can a repeat of this. Poor Peter. My heart for him does break.

[Keara Aithne]

6th December 2014

Swollen Leeloo’s belly is. Think I do not that she but two puppies does carry. Asked we could have for the exact number but wished I did, I do, for surprised to be. Matters not if she one or eight puppies does have. Though the average litter smaller than that is. Looked this up online I did. Two to five quite normal is. Know I do not what we with so many tiny creatures shall do. Hope I do that she a good mother is. Wish I do not for the young to rear. So maternal I do not believe I am. My childer grown are. Of age. Babies they are not. Leeloo and Gizmo puppies are. Were. But able they were for to feed alone. So much attention from me they did not require. Soon see we shall. Longer now it cannot be.

~#~

Enver quite upset with me yesterday was. Talked I did of Emilee. Talked I did of her with our family. Though her name but mentioned was. Wanted I did for the family to know that if annoyed Enver was, that it their fault was not. Secretive My Boy is. Told them he had not of his mother’s illness. Now says he does that he to California will go. Quite mad with me he must be for to leave. Especially now. Since so ill she is. Perhaps requested this of him she has. Want I do not for him alone to be. Even if difficult of late been it has for near him to be.

[Keara Aithne]

7th December 2014

Times there are, such as today, when wonder I do who my husband is? Why does he me not trust? A year now together we have been. Yes. This not long is. Yes. More open now he is. But still. Told me he did not that his mother died had. Two nights ago passed she did. Why did he this from me keep? This the true reason for his trip to California is. For her funeral to attend. There with his father buried she shall be. With him I shall go. Of course. Though worried I did for to ask if he me there with him did wish. At his side my place is. On that day especially. Alone he is not. Knows this he should.

[Keara Aithne]

8th December 2014

Enver for forgiveness today did ask. Apologised he did for the way that treating me he has been. This unnecessary was. Knew I did the cause of his behaviour. Though… Now perhaps apologise I must. For sitting I am in the catacombs. In a raid I am. Here I know I should not be. Not now and yet leave I cannot. Told Enver I did whereto I was going. Touched his mind I have. Silence my only reply is. Speaking with me he is not. Understand this I do. Wrong I am. Why attracted to this place I am I do not know. Perhaps feel I do that time alone needs he does. Told me he did not of her death. Secret this information from me he did keep. Perhaps private his grief is. Even from me. Especially from me. Wishes he does for strong to be. My silly boy he is. Knows he does that nothing from me need he hide. Home I should return and yet here I still am. Stop writing now I shall. Beasts about me there are that culled must be. Perhaps when tired I am. Home then I shall return.

[Keara Aithne]

9th December 2014

Home to chaos returned I have. Andrew understood at first could not be. So fast was he speaking. Too excited he was for his news to tell. Leeloo her puppies has had. Three females. Two males. Five in total. Seven puppies have Enver and I now. Funny I find it. Know I do that so pleased by this news he is not. But room enough have we for such tiny creatures to keep. The noise perhaps the biggest challenge shall be. Once grown a little they have. Right now tiny things they are. Blind. But not mute. Noise make they do. Cry they can. So far pleased I am. With Leeloo. Attentive she is being. Gizmo too. More protective he is of her and their young than anticipated I had. Interested I shall be for to see how grow they do. For their personalities to watch as form they do.