--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--
<Phoenix> [text] I'd like to talk to you sometime soon. Talk-talk, not scream at or attack talk.
<Jesse Fforde> [text] Sure. So long as it's a promise that all shiny knives are left at home.
<Phoenix> [text] Would you rather I bring the dull ones? >.> All weapons will be left home.
<Jesse Fforde> [text] No weapons. When?
<Phoenix> [text] When are you free?
<Jesse Fforde> [text] Whenever. I'm pretty easy.
<Phoenix> [text] Now works. I'm sitting in the park if you wanted to walk. Or sit and enjoy spring.
<Jesse Fforde> [text] 'The park'. There are a few of them in the city. You may need to be more specific.
<Phoenix> [text] My park. Thornside, I'm up on the north shore of the lake.
<Jesse Fforde> [text] Right. Be there soon.
<Jesse Fforde> Jesse stretches, after pushing the phone into his pocket. The bones in his neck crack. He dons a leather jacket over his white t-shirt, and boots. He kisses Grey goodbye - says he's going out for a bit, and will be back later. He emphasises that she should expect him, just in case. He takes the elevator down to the garage where the bike is; it doesn't take too long to get to Thornside, not at this time of night. There's no traffic. The bike rumbles heavily as he takes the paths through the park; he parks it, and wanders toward where Phoenix had said she would be.
<Phoenix> The park bench was the one she'd claimed since she'd come to Harper Rock. In truth, she had no claim to it at all, but she'd always called it hers. Never had she ever come here to find it otherwise occupied, either. She sat there under the moon, sideways on the bench with her back pressed against the wrought iron bars of the side and knees pulled up to her chest. Far off, she heard the sound of an engine coming to a stop - maybe if she knew vehicles better, she'd have been able to identify who it was. Not that she was completely oblivious.
<Jesse Fforde> It doesn't take Jesse long to find his sire. Regardless of any disenthrallment, he still calls her his sire - it's just a word, really, and Jesse is generally disdainful of all the heavy meanings attached to words. He saunters up to the bench seat, his hands shoved into his pockets. He drops down onto the other edge of it, echoing Phoenix's own position; back up against the wrought iron bars of the side. He brings one knee up onto the wood, the other leg stretched out in front of him. "Phoenix," he greets her.
<Phoenix> She stretched out a sandaled foot to poke his leg with the tip of her toe. Why, she wasn't sure, but she figured it was some kind of greeting. "Jess. If you're going to insist on calling me Phoenix all the time, I'm going to have to retaliate." Her voice was unusually soft, just above a whisper. Her lips twitched in a brief smile and her eyes flicked up to meet his. "How are you?"
<Jesse Fforde> Jesse shrugs, with a slight smirk. "Jess is fine. I don't mind Jesse. Phoenix is your name, isn't it?" he asks, unaware that he was supposed to call her anything different. He removes his hands from his pockets, one arm draped over the back of the bench. "Grand, thanks," he says. He hates the question, but he answers it anyway. "Yourself?" he echoes, because he supposes it's what is expected, even though he has a feeling that she might not be doing so well.
<Phoenix> She wondered why he asked - it seemed strange that he would given he likely knew exactly how not-grand she was. Instead of lamenting her condition, she shrugged, "I've been better. Most people just call me Nix..." Now that he was here, she wasn't sure what she'd wanted with him. She felt nothing but sadness in looking him over.
<Jesse Fforde> Jesse shrugs. "If you prefer to be called Nix, I'll call you Nix. I prefer to call people by the names they are given - or have given themselves. They've got them for a reason," he says. It was the same with Yekaterina. Such a long name. One that most, out of laziness, would shorten. But Jesse never had. Some names have a particular ring to them - and if he's going to be making use of his voice, he wants it to be in the right way. He stretches, makes himself more comfortable. He watches Phoenix carefully. She's wanted to talk. He wonders if it was about anything specific.
<Phoenix> "I would. Phoenix is for when you're angry with me... though I guess that's more often than not." She sighed. "I don't want to fight with you anymore, but I can't help but feel like you tried to turn Axel against me." Her voice remained strangely hushed, as if she were measuring each syllable carefully before allowing the words to escape.
<Jesse Fforde> "No," Jesse says, voice calm and measured. He had a feeling this might come up. "Not everything is about you...Nix," he says, making sure to call her what she wants to be called. Maybe an indication that he isn't angry with her. Not really. "You say it as if I did what I did to hurt you. No, I did what I did to keep Axel from being hurt. He is my priority," Jesse says, honestly.
<Phoenix> She sighed, "I understand that... but I never wanted to hurt him. I don't want to hurt him... I... I'm just not that smart. It... hurts to have you - and him - doubt my sincerity." She didn't even want to explain it or debate it any more than that. When the tears welled in her eyes, she tried to will them away, but only ended up looking bright-eyed and confused.
<Jesse Fforde> Jesse sighs, too. He doesn't know how to comfort Phoenix. "I never would have said a thing if you'd reassured me. I kept trying to tell you that love should conquer all lack of bonds, but you couldn't reassure me that you wouldn't drop Axel as soon as Legion came back, if he ever comes back. You never denied it. It's something I thought Axel should know. I figured he would ask you about it, and that you would reassure him. My goal was not to have you split - and it's not the only reason, either," he says, tone still low, still calm and steady.
<Phoenix> "I didn't think I had to deny it; I thought it went without saying when I said I loved Axel," she shrugged, "I'm not that completely off-centered. Axel's been - or had been - here for me, and there's no reason I'd ever have left him for someone who's abandoned me." Though Axel's done exactly that, now. "I know it's not the only reason. He thinks I wanted to use him to get back into Ty... that wasn't it at all..." The iron bars were digging into her back, but that didn't seem to matter as she slumped against them. "I just... I miss him, and I love him."
No Weapons [Phoenix]
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No Weapons [Phoenix]
FIRE and BLOOD
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Re: No Weapons [Phoenix]
--The following transcript was a live chat roleplay--
<Jesse Fforde> Jesse shrugs, again. It's his fall back - he used to shrug all the time when he hadn't the vocal ability to make himself understood. He's having this conversation for the sake of civility, but it's not one that he'd normally have. With anyone. People's love lives didn't mean too much to him, and he didn't know what it was that Nix wanted from him. "See. A bunch of things that I have nothing to do with. If you love him and he loves you then there should be no obstacles. Somehow, there must have been some, if you are no longer together. If you miss him and love him that's something you have to tell him. Not me."
<Phoenix> "He holds your opinion of my over pretty much anything I could ever say. You don't trust me, so he doesn't trust me." If anything, she sounded defeated. "He won't talk to me. Not that you can do anything about that, but... it feels like he went from loving me to having absolutely no regard for me in the span of a few days. I don't know how to deal with it, so... I'm trying. And I guess I just don't understand; I thought we were trying to work on not being jerks?" Lifting her hand, she wiped at her eyes. She usually hated appearing weak, but she was past the point of caring. Very little at this point could make things worse.
<Jesse Fforde> "I'm not being a jerk, Nix. I'm being honest. I'm telling you my honest opinion. It's how I've always been. Blunt, and honest, and you took it for assholery. It can come across that way, but I just don't see the point in talking **** and avoiding the point," he explains. "Maybe Axel is the jerk? If he can get over you so quickly. My opinion shouldn't matter when it comes to his love life and surely it mustn't matter THAT much given that he started sleeping with you, dating you to begin with. Remember, I hated you then? Loathed you, with the fire of a thousand suns. But that didn't stop him, did it?" Jesse says, the smirk playing at the edge of his lips.
<Phoenix> Of course it'd occurred to her that Axel may just genuinely not care for her at all, but that didn't make it hurt any less. She wasn't looking for a scapegoat or a fight - she didn't have the energy for it. "I'm not blaming you, Jesse. That's not what I wanted... I'm not really sure what I wanted, other than to reassure myself that you're not being a manipulative jerk... and I don't think you are." She let her head fall to rest against the bench, "You're probably right. He probably just doesn't care..."
<Jesse Fforde> "And maybe he does. But maybe you're not making it easy for him," Jesse says. He doesn't know the whole story. He doesn't know anything about the conversations Axel and Phoenix might have with one another. "Strix told me how you treated Paige, about being in Andras. I'm sure that's another obstacle, isn't it? He's doing what he wants to do and it's not what you want. Maybe he does want you, but maybe he doesn't want it with all the conditions attached," Jesse says. This time, for Phoenix's own good. He could continue, but he bites his tongue; he makes a vow not to be a jerk.
<Phoenix> She blinked at Jesse, tipping her head. How she treated Paige? "How did I treat Paige?" she asked, brow furrowed. "I'm happy they asked you to be part of the family. I just asked Paige if she wanted to remain Altaire, because the way she announced it seemed strange to me. She said she did, so I told her she was more than welcome and I was happy to have her stay..." she trailed off, confused as to how that had come across as anything more than it had been.
<Jesse Fforde> "I don't know," Jesse says. "I wasn't there. Strix said you gave her a hard time. She didn't go into details," he says, narrowing his eyes a little as he tries to recall the entire conversation with Strix. He'd got the impression that it hadn't gone well. "She made it seem as if you weren't happy for Paige - that you personally attacked her over her decision," Jesse says tentatively, testing the waters.
<Phoenix> She shook her head slowly. After scanning the memory of the night's events, she came up blank, "When she said she joined, I said that sounded nice - and I meant it, but maybe it came off... sarcastic? I didn't attack her at all. When I said Axel broke up with me, some of them were all... angry and blabbing about attacking him over it. I told them not to and apologized to Paige because I felt bad that she was being put in the middle... I had a bit of a chat with her over it and she seemed fine. I'm certainly not upset by you, Axel or anyone else joining Andras... You know how I feel about Micah and Vel."
<Jesse Fforde> Jesse shakes his head, a scowl resting briefly upon his brow, turning the corner of his lips downward. Why would Strix make it sound worse than what it was? Or is Nix lying about it now, making it sound less bad than it what it was, saving her own ***? Maybe none of it was a big deal. This is why he strives to be honest, always. All this inbetween **** does his head in. He doesn't know what to think or who to believe. He'll talk to Paige himself, and get the story from her. That seems the best bet. Finally, he shakes his head. "I don't, actually. How do you feel about Micah and Vel?" he asks.
<Phoenix> "If you're on the Andras board, I'm sure you'll find posts there by me. I left because I couldn't deal with Lia constantly dogging me, but I still adore Micah. We've known each other pretty much since he we were sired." The ghost of a smile curled her lips at the memory. "Vel and I have a more complicated relationship."
<Jesse Fforde> Jesse nods. His gaze drifts, until his phone buzzes in his pocket. A mischievous glint catches at the corner of his eye, a smile edging at his lips. "I'll make sure to have a look," he says, his attention never having left Phoenix, but was split, just for that second. "I.. have a thing, I should go," he says. "We'll talk again soon, though," he adds. Now, there's more that's bolstering him to Andras than just how much Micah and Velveteen have helped him. There's the fact that Micah is his long-lost cousin, now, too - it's actual, honest-to-god family. "Yeah?"
<Phoenix> She nodded. "We'll talk soon," she agreed. Once he'd dismissed her, she let her eyes train out over the lake. It's what she'd been doing before Jesse had arrived - staring out at the water. "Enjoy your... thing." She paused, just before he left, "I like not bitching at you."
<Jesse Fforde> His thing happens to be Grey - perhaps not such a great reason to walk away, but he hasn't seen Grey for a few days, and he'd left her to come and meet Phoenix. He wanted a couple of hours with her before the sun came up. He supposed they were still kind of in their 'honeymoon' phase. They couldn't keep their hands off each other. He waves over his head as Phoenix says goodbye, and almost jogs back to his bike.
<Jesse Fforde> Jesse shrugs, again. It's his fall back - he used to shrug all the time when he hadn't the vocal ability to make himself understood. He's having this conversation for the sake of civility, but it's not one that he'd normally have. With anyone. People's love lives didn't mean too much to him, and he didn't know what it was that Nix wanted from him. "See. A bunch of things that I have nothing to do with. If you love him and he loves you then there should be no obstacles. Somehow, there must have been some, if you are no longer together. If you miss him and love him that's something you have to tell him. Not me."
<Phoenix> "He holds your opinion of my over pretty much anything I could ever say. You don't trust me, so he doesn't trust me." If anything, she sounded defeated. "He won't talk to me. Not that you can do anything about that, but... it feels like he went from loving me to having absolutely no regard for me in the span of a few days. I don't know how to deal with it, so... I'm trying. And I guess I just don't understand; I thought we were trying to work on not being jerks?" Lifting her hand, she wiped at her eyes. She usually hated appearing weak, but she was past the point of caring. Very little at this point could make things worse.
<Jesse Fforde> "I'm not being a jerk, Nix. I'm being honest. I'm telling you my honest opinion. It's how I've always been. Blunt, and honest, and you took it for assholery. It can come across that way, but I just don't see the point in talking **** and avoiding the point," he explains. "Maybe Axel is the jerk? If he can get over you so quickly. My opinion shouldn't matter when it comes to his love life and surely it mustn't matter THAT much given that he started sleeping with you, dating you to begin with. Remember, I hated you then? Loathed you, with the fire of a thousand suns. But that didn't stop him, did it?" Jesse says, the smirk playing at the edge of his lips.
<Phoenix> Of course it'd occurred to her that Axel may just genuinely not care for her at all, but that didn't make it hurt any less. She wasn't looking for a scapegoat or a fight - she didn't have the energy for it. "I'm not blaming you, Jesse. That's not what I wanted... I'm not really sure what I wanted, other than to reassure myself that you're not being a manipulative jerk... and I don't think you are." She let her head fall to rest against the bench, "You're probably right. He probably just doesn't care..."
<Jesse Fforde> "And maybe he does. But maybe you're not making it easy for him," Jesse says. He doesn't know the whole story. He doesn't know anything about the conversations Axel and Phoenix might have with one another. "Strix told me how you treated Paige, about being in Andras. I'm sure that's another obstacle, isn't it? He's doing what he wants to do and it's not what you want. Maybe he does want you, but maybe he doesn't want it with all the conditions attached," Jesse says. This time, for Phoenix's own good. He could continue, but he bites his tongue; he makes a vow not to be a jerk.
<Phoenix> She blinked at Jesse, tipping her head. How she treated Paige? "How did I treat Paige?" she asked, brow furrowed. "I'm happy they asked you to be part of the family. I just asked Paige if she wanted to remain Altaire, because the way she announced it seemed strange to me. She said she did, so I told her she was more than welcome and I was happy to have her stay..." she trailed off, confused as to how that had come across as anything more than it had been.
<Jesse Fforde> "I don't know," Jesse says. "I wasn't there. Strix said you gave her a hard time. She didn't go into details," he says, narrowing his eyes a little as he tries to recall the entire conversation with Strix. He'd got the impression that it hadn't gone well. "She made it seem as if you weren't happy for Paige - that you personally attacked her over her decision," Jesse says tentatively, testing the waters.
<Phoenix> She shook her head slowly. After scanning the memory of the night's events, she came up blank, "When she said she joined, I said that sounded nice - and I meant it, but maybe it came off... sarcastic? I didn't attack her at all. When I said Axel broke up with me, some of them were all... angry and blabbing about attacking him over it. I told them not to and apologized to Paige because I felt bad that she was being put in the middle... I had a bit of a chat with her over it and she seemed fine. I'm certainly not upset by you, Axel or anyone else joining Andras... You know how I feel about Micah and Vel."
<Jesse Fforde> Jesse shakes his head, a scowl resting briefly upon his brow, turning the corner of his lips downward. Why would Strix make it sound worse than what it was? Or is Nix lying about it now, making it sound less bad than it what it was, saving her own ***? Maybe none of it was a big deal. This is why he strives to be honest, always. All this inbetween **** does his head in. He doesn't know what to think or who to believe. He'll talk to Paige himself, and get the story from her. That seems the best bet. Finally, he shakes his head. "I don't, actually. How do you feel about Micah and Vel?" he asks.
<Phoenix> "If you're on the Andras board, I'm sure you'll find posts there by me. I left because I couldn't deal with Lia constantly dogging me, but I still adore Micah. We've known each other pretty much since he we were sired." The ghost of a smile curled her lips at the memory. "Vel and I have a more complicated relationship."
<Jesse Fforde> Jesse nods. His gaze drifts, until his phone buzzes in his pocket. A mischievous glint catches at the corner of his eye, a smile edging at his lips. "I'll make sure to have a look," he says, his attention never having left Phoenix, but was split, just for that second. "I.. have a thing, I should go," he says. "We'll talk again soon, though," he adds. Now, there's more that's bolstering him to Andras than just how much Micah and Velveteen have helped him. There's the fact that Micah is his long-lost cousin, now, too - it's actual, honest-to-god family. "Yeah?"
<Phoenix> She nodded. "We'll talk soon," she agreed. Once he'd dismissed her, she let her eyes train out over the lake. It's what she'd been doing before Jesse had arrived - staring out at the water. "Enjoy your... thing." She paused, just before he left, "I like not bitching at you."
<Jesse Fforde> His thing happens to be Grey - perhaps not such a great reason to walk away, but he hasn't seen Grey for a few days, and he'd left her to come and meet Phoenix. He wanted a couple of hours with her before the sun came up. He supposed they were still kind of in their 'honeymoon' phase. They couldn't keep their hands off each other. He waves over his head as Phoenix says goodbye, and almost jogs back to his bike.