Ink [Renee]

[Jesse Fforde]

I cant my head to the side as she explains. It's partly an answer to my question, partly not. I have no idea why Axel would get all up in Renee's head in order to drown out this 'other'. I find it interesting the way she talks about it, as if it's some demon or ghost possessing her body when she's not looking. Don't turn around, Renee. Don't stop paying attention to yourself or you might get stolen. Reason kicks in and I frown, just a tiny bit.

"I'm pretty sure, medically speaking, that's what they'd call schizophrenia," I say. Wouldn't that be the most obvious explanation? It's a condition that can manifest later in life, right? It's not something someone has to have had since birth. Though I am no doctor, and I cannot be sure.

"Why do you think it's some other being rather than just another side of yourself?" I ask. A legitimate question, I think. We are vampires, and there are a myriad of other creatures that do exist that I'd never have believed in before. Of course it's possible, then, that Renee is being possessed by something or someone. But if not, it could just be psychological. It could be fixed, just by a concentrated state of mind. I gaze at her, hard and curious.

[Renee]

I take in what he says. He makes some points but none of them feel right. "I have been looking at a lot of different things and not ruling anything fully out. I know when she takes over I don't remember anything. It's unsettling at times but I have yet to find out if anything bad has happened when it does. It sounds more like Disassoiated identiy disorder but as for the voices in my head I have no clue. They can hurt me and thats why Axel is trying to drownd them out but they have not tried in a few months." I look at Jesse and try to hide the worry from forming on my face.

[Jesse Fforde]

I half begin to wonder whether Renee actually came here for a tattoo. I start to think that perhaps she is proud, and she doesn't like asking for help or advice; she doesn't like telling anyone about her problems. And thus she had come here under the pretext of getting a tattoo, but in the end all she wanted was to talk. I am not against talking, not if it's something that's important to her. But in this, I am certain that I fall short. I do not know how to help her. I do not know what is wrong with her. I do not know whether it has anything to do with her vamprisim or whether it's something that she has brought with her from her humanity which cannot now be healed or treated.

"They can hurt you how?" I ask, a hint of concern in my gravelly tone.

"Have you tried meditation? Try talking to them yourself. See what they want. Reach an understanding," I say, as odd as it feels to be telling someone to talk reasonably with the voices in their heads. I suppose it's better than sitting back and calling Renee nuts, insane, beyond help. I have no choice but to take her seriously, at least for the moment.

[Renee]

I thinks about what Jesse says on meditation. I had thought about it and even had some rituals done to try and help but I could not concentrate on anything long enough for it to help. "I gave it a try a few times but I found writing helps me more." I think about the different things that I have been about to pour onto a page when I am able to let myself go and just let me be me and it helps to clam me.

I let out an exhale that is not needed but it helps to bring me back to the here and now. I give Jesse a smile "Well should we get this play started? I'm sure you have other things you plan to do thins evening."

[Jesse Fforde]

I continue to watch Renee with buried concern. She has answered my second question, but not my first - she won't tell me how they can hurt her. Which is fine, I suppose. If she doesn't want to tell me I understand. I understand wanting to keep certain things private, not wanting to appear weak or vulnerable. I get that, as much as the next person. I arch a brow as the topic comes to a close; though I am sure that we can continue talking while the gun is whirring.

I give a shrug as I turn it on and the sound permeates the air around us - like an over-large mosquito, the gun sounds like, the needle pulsing at a speed too fast for the human eye. I make sure that I have some paper towel handy before I lean over Renee, pressing the needle to the flawless white skin.

"I have no other plans. I planned to meet you," I rectify. If I have intentions, I do not half-*** them. After the meeting weeks ago with Paige, Ursula, and Renee I made a vow to myself that I would keep in contact with them, more often than I had been. So when the time was set for Renee's tattoo, I took the whole night out of commission, just in case. I continue to needle in the outline, carefully, with precision. Every now and again I swab away the excess ink and any blood that bubbles to the surface. Blood and black ink. My favourite colour.

[Renee]

As he starts the tattoo I feel the pain as it starts and it is something I have grown to love. Pain. It was something that I hated when I was human but now that I was a vampire it was one of the only sweet sensations I felt. When I was human I would avoid it at all cost. Be it doing everything my elders told me to do or making myself forget it. Now though I would seek it out. I loved to fight those more experienced then myself not only to learn from them but for the pain that would be inflicted on me.

He says that the only thing he had planned was to meet me. "Thank you Jesse." I smile as I tilt my head to see what he is doing. Even if it is only just the outline it is still looking great. I can tell he takes pride in his work and does not want to rush it or mess it up.

[Jesse Fforde]

The tattoo won't take long. It's not overly large, and though there's a little bit of detail, it's not enough to slow me down too much. Renee makes no complaint as I start, and so I continue; I'm used to doing my job in silence. For years I have been working in silence - even if my clients started prattling on and asking me questions, I wouldn't stop to try to answer them. Once upon a time, that would have required me getting up, taking off my gloves, finding a pen and paper, and responding that way.

It's not something that I have to worry about anymore, but it's still a habit that sticks. Almost like I can't work and talk at the same time - it's not how I am wired. It's why I didn't start until Renee and I had finished our discussion.

So I do not ask any more questions. I continue to work, leaning over my canvas and, every now and again, wiping away more excess blood and ink. It takes about forty minutes to complete the outline, at which point I stand and roll my shoulders. I have to change to a thicker needle, and transfer to the coloured ink.

"Doin' okay?" I ask. Another habit, when taking a break.

[Renee]

I breath out as he is done with the outline, not really because I have to but more so I feel it is needed. "I am doing fine. Can't wait to see the finished work." I smile. I sit up to stretch a little bit before I settle back into position as I watch him get the colors ready. "Do you like tattooing vampires more then humans?" It's a thought that crosses my mind. while he was tattooing me. It is a painful thing to go though but not horrible. I can imagine humans would have a worse time with it then vampires do but you never know till you ask.

[Jesse Fforde]

I shrug.

There's not really much difference. A canvas is a canvas, in the long run. But I suppose there are subtle differences. For one, when a human customer bleeds, it can be frustrating. The smell of their blood mixed in with the ink is an arousing mixture; it scratches at the back of my throat, always teasing that insatiable thirst of mine. It aggravates my nerves, which isn't good. Especially because I am a perfectionist and I don't want anything getting in the way of the finished product. I can take my time with humans, however. Their skin doesn't heal as quickly as a vampire's does; so although a vampire's blood won't arouse my hunger, I still have to move quickly. Again, a frustration, as it could affect the finished product.

"They both have their pros and cons," I answer, neatly. I probably could explain it to her, but I am not accustomed to explaining myself. So I don't.

It's not long before I am settled in front of Renee again, ready to begin filling in the outlines; to add colour to the small design.

[Renee]

It is understandable that he does not go into details of the differences. I would probably not even really understand much of it either way. I sit back and ready myself for the next part. When I was human I had met others with tattoos and they said that the color bothered them most. I dont know if it is true are not yet but I ready myself either way.