Dumb Journal Thing

[Conall Callahan (DELETED 5142)]

So. Xavier talked me into this. I don't know why, but he did. Makes me feel like a twelve year old girl, but whatever. He asked, so I'll do it. Truth be told, I'd do anything for him, I really ******* would. I owe him a lot, a lot more than I'd want him to know. I need to find a way to thank him without him realizing. I mean, Jesus Christ, before I met him, I was I was broke as **** and living in my car, well on my way to being a drunk again. Xav, and getting turned, are the best damn things to happen to me.

And yeah, getting turned. I know I see people ***** about how awful it is but boo-*******-hoo. So what? You can't eat food anymore, can't go out in the sun. Such a difficult ******* price to pay for never growing old. Wow, that sounds vain as ****. I don't mean I'm scared of getting old, or looking old or anything like that. I just... I don't want to end up like Grampa. It always scared the hell out of me when Mom took me to go see him.

God, Xavier can never find that out, I'd never hear the end of it. I hope he never finds this. Stupid dumb journal, making me look like a whiny wuss. I'm not, not at all. Though... I've become warier (is that a word? I dunno) since I turned. Maybe that's because of the **** I've seen happen to Xav, and when he ended up in the shadow realm... Well, I guess it's a good thing vamps can't get drunk. Wish I hadn't found that out the hard way, though. Oh well, now I know.

Know not to **** around with the sun now too. Can't believe I fucked up that bad this morning. Better lay low til I heal up, or else Xav is gonna have a field day. I can hear him now. "About damn time you got fucked up too." Don't blame him though, poor ****'s lost at least two legs since this all began, but at least it grows back. Not without scars though. I know he hates his, I don't know why. They look good on him, I love 'em, though I don't think he'd believe me. Damn he's good looking and

You know what? I'll shut up now, before I sound any more like a damn schoolgirl.