Three Guests (Halloween reading winners) Part Two- Jonah

[Zodiac]

When Jonah had finished shuffling and replaced the deck, Zodiac pulled it back to her side of the table. "Now what? Ten cards will give us some ideas about you and the answers that you seek. I shall explain each as we go along. Feel free to ask questions as we go."

She sat up straight, placed her palms together and closed her eyes for a few moments. When her eyes opened, her left hand reached over and with a calm, smooth motion pulled the top card from the deck and sat it in the upper left corner of the table from her perspective and left her hand hovering over it to hide it from view.

"Some call this card the Significator, This is the card that will represent you in the pattern we shall build here. Usually this is buried under other cards in the process, but I prefer to leave it out and visible for reference as we go." She pulled her hand away then to allow the card to be seen.

" The Knight of Pentacles. A card of strength and power. A slow burning sort of fellow. Once he has made up his mind, nothing stops him. Decisive and unrelenting in his actions. Almost a force of nature. A person of duty, honor and responsibility." She looked up at her guest and smiled a bit. "From what I remember and the rumors I have heard from time to time, I think this one works rather well for you."

Her hand returned to the deck and selected another card from the top. "The next card will lie in the center of the pattern. This will show us the atmosphere surrounding the central issues." Zodiac placed the card in the center of the table.

"The Seven of Pentacles. A card of assessment when reversed or upside down. You have already been doing some soul searching, I imagine, so again this does not surprise me much. However, reversed like this, it suggests impatience. Idle speculations. You have no clue how to move to solve the issues you are debating. None of your normal, practical experiences..." she reached over and tapped the Knight card. "Works in this. At the risk of sounding crude, muscle and power won't help here." she reached across the table and patted his hand reassuringly. She sometimes found a bit of humor helped, especially with such a down start to the reading.

Again, she reached for the pile and took another card. "This card will cover the Seven. This one represents the obstacles that stand in your way of what you hope to achieve." The card was laid on top of the other.

"The World. Our first major card." she frowned for a moment. "Normally this card represents success. Prosperity, security and joy. Achievement. But as the obstacles, I am thinking now. It could be saying that success would not be a good thing for you, but I am wondering if you feel 'having it all' may be more of a curse rather than a blessing. I will hazard a guess here. Perhaps you have become comfortable in your life now, and to have what you want may mean some major changes? Disrupting what you have come to find safe and secure in the process? As the pattern continues to build, we shall hopefully see some clarification on this card."

Another card was selected from the pile. "This will sit above the World card. It represents your goal. What you hope to achieve without a major or dramatic change to your life." The card was laid into place.

"Another Major. Strong reading so far. Ironically, it is Strength. Reversed." again, she frowned. This was nothing like she was expecting. "Upside down, the card usually carries a tone of the exact opposite of its title."

She looked at the card again and looked at Jonah as her mind considered the possibilities for a few moments. Relationships was his question............

"You want to be able to be open when it comes to matters of the heart," she finally spoke. "To be receptive, vulnerable even. A true interaction with others leaves one exposed to things that sometimes hurt as well as help. Perhaps this is part of your issue. Your insides might be as armor plated as your outsides appear, or is that how others seem to think you are? " Zodiac picked up her cup and took a sip as she allowed some time for him to question or comment before she continued.

[Jonah]

He appreciated that she was explaining as she started and hoped that she saw his question to know what was going on as honest interest rather than doubting her. It was interesting how everything interacted. Not only the card but the order and, based on how everything was laid out, the placement as well.

As she explained the purpose of the first card, he took another sip from his tankard and swallowed. As she revealed it, he was glad that he had finished his drink because he was equal parts surprised and amused and the resulting laugh might have ruined the cards and the table were he to have a mouth full of drink. How...appropriate that the card meant to represent him was an armored warrior.

As she went on to explain, he could merely nod with her assessment though one thing she said did catch his attention. "What rumors have you heard?"

Continuing, she turned over what looked like a farmer, leaning on a hoe. Where the meaning of the other was fairly obvious, he was lost on what this meant. As she explained, he looked for clues in the card. Turning his head to try and see it appropriately, he supposed that there was contemplation on the farmer's face. That the way the card was turned had meaning was a surprise to him but if everything else was significant it made a certain sense.

Now there was a woman surrounded by...a snake and heads? An interesting representation of "the world" and a...difficult pill to swallow if this was his opposition. His thoughts turned to the image of the city that had filled his mind, was everyone against him? Zodiac's explanation seemed to imply something less extreme so he continued to watch and trust her explanation.

The next card he felt he could connect with again, a lady petting a lion. For a moment, he saw the woman as Wolffyn and the lion as himself but he shook his head to focus on what he was being told. As she said that, in this form, it meant weakness, he had to disagree. Weakness was never the goal. He had to be strong. That was his purpose.

As she offered insight though, the possibility of its accurateness had to be acknowledged. He had been trying to open up to those he had hurt, Maddra most of all. So far, most of his attempts had been met with what seemed like failure and hurt. Looking back at the world card, he laughed unhappily.

"I can agree so far. I...didn't think I was so armor plated though."

[Zodiac]

"Perhaps rumors is the wrong choice of term. I hear things from my friends in passing and in idle conversations at times when people fail to notice I am nearby. Bits and hints. I had heard you had turned Necural, but then later was not. Another time if you are willing, I would like to discuss how you managed what most said was impossible to do. But then again it also what I did not hear. When all was up in arms over the idea of vampires feeding on vampires, I never heard of you being considered a problem. Sometimes it is what you do not hear that means even more than what you do hear." she replied. "So what I didn't hear suggests to me you were still a person of character and integrity."

She gave him the time to absorb what she had told him so far in the reading. When he mentioned armor, she suppressed a giggle.

"Sometimes people see more than is there while we ourselves cannot see it at all. Something tells me you can be a very caring soul, but you do not open up so easily. Those walls- that 'armor'- we have within ourselves is vital to survive, yet can be a problem when one is trying to be close with another. Is a matter of trust, basically, and sometimes trusting can stab us deeper than any blade ever could, but sometimes the reward is beyond anything one can imagine. Now we shall continue."


She pulled another card and laid it under the World card at its bottom. "This card tells us the foundation this situation is based upon. The Two of Cups- when reversed like this suggests luxury, unique relationships. Perhaps an awakening or re-awakening of desires for life and love. Sometimes it means excess or over indulging, but I don't think that fits in here. Opportunity perhaps. Tell me, has something happened recently that has inspired you like this? I know it is not Spring, but a man's thoughts can turn to love no matter what the weather is outside."

Zodiac pulled another card and laid it on the left side of the World card. "The recent past. Some say a passing influence or personal baggage that needs to be let go of if you want to move forward. Another Knight. This time the Knight of Swords-again, reversed. This knight is the bad *** of the four in the deck. He is like Attila or some Spartan warrior in essence. Represents the type who cannot turn down a challenge. No mercy, no surrender. A person who applies those things to everyday life. Treats everything like its a war that has to be won at all costs." she paused and took a sip. "Someone like this might be an ideal bodyguard, but having them over for tea and discussions would be insane. Love and relationships can be a type of war sometimes, but treating them like you would beating the holy crap out of somebody is not the way to be. I do not mean the person in the relationship, but how you handle the ups and downs of the relationship, though I will admit. A nice club to the head might solve a few problems at times."

Her hand drew another card and placed it to the right of the World. Now forming a cross of sort with the spread. "The soon to be future, or a approaching influence. New ideas to embrace, consider, contemplate. The Page of Pentacles. What is up with all the reverses? Like this, it means an air of 'who gives a ****' basically. A period of depression perhaps, or ignoring issues and diving into more familiar and pleasurable things while ignoring what needs to be dealt with. Or a lack of focus on things." She looked into Jonah's eyes and reached across the table and took hold of one of his hands and gave it a squeeze. "Frustration and having no clue how to continue can bring such things out of anyone. As I said, the cards are warnings and suggestions. The last thing you want to do is just shrug your shoulders and go back to doing what you were before because all you will be doing is hiding from what you want to do rather than confront it and try to gain ground to the better."

She stood up and took her cup and the tankard she had prepared for him and returned to the pot where the second pack sat warming as she continued to speak to his thoughts. "So far we have gained a small insight into you with the process so far. It seems you have had a rough time so far, but you are willing to try. Also, the qualities the cards suggest you have are not necessarily bad ones at all. It is just how you are applying them that could be considered a problem."

The gypsy returned to the table and sat the fresh filled cups back into place. "The next four cards will give us clues on what you can do to help reach your goals." she slipped back onto her throne and smiled at him. "Between them and the awesome Oracle of Advice that is me, we will figure something out."

[Jonah]

His time as a Necurat was not something that he talked about often and he was honestly unsure how he had weaned himself off of the blood of other vampires. Still, perhaps talking about it would be a good thing. It could help others from making the same mistakes he had. "I...see what you mean. And one day, soon maybe." What she was telling him was a lot to take in. To a certain degree, it was what he had been telling himself. To hear it from another person though, it made it all more real. Both the good and the bad.

Jonah twisted his head to try and work out what the next card was. Two winners holding trophies? Close apparently. Cups but "luxury" implied success and trophies went with success. The big man smiled despite himself. Maybe he was trying too hard to make the cards make sense.

The way she asked the question made it seem like she was asking about romance but his question and feelings were broader. The Vedarian line was a quiet one and most of Jonah's existence was a lonely one. Feeling cut off from everyone, eternity weighed on his mind. Forever was a long time to be alone."I think it has to do with what you just asked about. I don't...remember a lot of what I did. I ignored those close to me." He had lost Wolffyn completely but in this moment, Maddra weighed more heavily on his mind. "My childe is still...angry with me. For changing. I've tried to fix it but it's still...strained."

Recent past and...rampaging warrior? He took a deep drink from the tankard to disguise the grimace. "I think I know what that is." She had expressed a desire to talk about his choice later but it seemed like, to some degree, it was going to have to happen now. "In the things you heard, did you hear why I chose to be a Necurat?" Unsure of how best to explain, he just started. "After Emmanuel and the Blood Thieves, I...changed to get stronger. There were so many threats and I didn't see any other choice." It probably sounded like a poor excuse to justify his actions but it was the truth.

Zodiac's small touch was welcome as she explained the next card. It was a hard discussion so far but she seemed to not judge him and think that his desire was a good one. The description of the card seemed like less of a description of the future and more of what he had been feeling for the last few months.

When she brought their drinks back, he took the tankard but didn't drink yet, choosing to just look in to the glass. Finally looking up at her, he forced a smile. "I believe you. And...thanks."

[Zodiac]

She listened in true sympathy. Zodiac imagined Jonah's overall new appearance was probably not the most alluring of looks to some. She could sense a tone of emptiness within him. Lonely probably did not even cover it. She understood to a degree what it was like to be an outcast of sorts, but not to the degree she was feeling coming from her guest.

."I think it has to do with what you just asked about. I don't...remember a lot of what I did. I ignored those close to me. My childe is still...angry with me. For changing. I've tried to fix it but it's still...strained. In the things you heard, did you hear why I chose to be a Necurat? After Emmanuel and the Blood Thieves, I...changed to get stronger. There were so many threats and I didn't see any other choice."

"I cannot nor will not judge such a decision." she spoke softly. "I too did my part to help rid this city of the Broussard's hold on it and I can imagine far more than just you went above and beyond the call to help keep this place and our kind safe and sound. Possibly all of us made a choice or two we now wish we could take back, but what's done is done now. And sometimes in the attempt to save the ones we care for, we forget things. We close them out, focus on the issues and sometimes do damage we had never thought possible in the process of trying to help others. It doesn't make you a bad person, Jonah. It simply means you cared more than most in your own way. Time will be the healer in all of this and nothing you or I could do will speed that up. All we can be is patient and be there when they are finally ready to open up and try again." she gave his hand another squeeze and sat back in her chair.

"We have formed the cross," she gestured over the arrangement of cards. "Which shows us the basics surrounding you, your situations, the recent past and possible future, and the highs and lows. Now we shall build the 'staff'. It's a series of four cards that will tell us about your attitudes, the environment you work within, your hopes and or fears, and how things may turn out if you continue as you have been up until now."

Her hand pulled a card from the top of the deck and sat it to the lower right of the 'cross' of previous cards. "Your attitude. The Six of Swords reversed. A card of science or learning. You can be a prideful sort at times, yes? You think that you can think your way out of this issue, yet you are frustrated that you are still stuck in the problem. Stuck to the point other things of importance are getting ignored in the process. You are frustrated, which is totally understandable. But matters concerning others, be it friendship or even romance doesn't follow logic and reason."

Zodiac pulled another card and laid it above the Six of Swords. "Your environment. The situations and the people you interact with as the norm. The Nine of Pentacles. Upright it is a card of gain or prosperity. Financially you are doing okay. You work hard and do not squander your resources. Those you work with are the same, which is a good thing, but none of that is really helping you in what you want. Is probably how you been trying to ignore or drown the issues. Pour yourself into work. We all guilty of that at times, but this is not going to help here. We need to find a way to move you outside what you have found refuge and comfort in in order to fix this situation."

She paused now, looking over the spread. "The last two cards have their base in intelligence, discipline, stability. You like things in order I would assume from this. Again, relationships do not follow such things. They ebb and flow, twist and turn. One surprise after another." the gypsy pulled another card and laid it above the nine. "Hopes and fears. The Ten of Swords. A card of ruin. The visual says so much with this one. A brutal defeat. You fear your efforts will lead to you being hurt. Also, this card too suggests intelligence but in the sense of over thinking a situation to the point you simply respond in an aggressive manner. When you finally do something it will be swift and perhaps without mercy. Does this mean you will physically attack someone? Most doubtful, but you know there are other ways to hurt others than just your fists. It's a very rational fear to have. These three cards suggest to me you thinking too hard."

She took another sip and considered. "So far I think you need to learn how to open up more. Relax. Friendship and romance can be a battle at times, but on occasion they can be good battles. Things are learned about each other in the process and if the relationship is real enough, you both try to fix what is wrong or learn to deal with things. As I said, these things do not follow logic at all. Why is someone friends with another when say from your view they are two totally different people? Why does the beautiful woman pair herself with a less than average guy? Or a man who could have anyone by his appearance choose a girl of larger or less attractive proportions? On the outside, it doesn't make a lick of sense, but to those involved, it does. Part of your problem is, you are not letting anything just happen in your life. You keep trying to think, plan, prepare and be ready instead of just going with the flow of things. You told me your childe was angry with you. When you talk to her, do you just show up ready to listen or do you prepare to deal with her issues by having answers ready before hand? With matters of the heart, and that includes friends too, that will always be the wrong way to get closer to someone."

[Jonah]

The big vampire simply nodded at her words and touch. He could tell that they were an attempt to give him some comfort and they even worked to a degree but he knew that he would not achieve any real relief until he had better settled things with those who he had hurt.

When her hand left his, he turned his attention back to the cards. So far, he couldn't really disagree with anything that she had told him and it made sense. Really, it was obvious and the big man was kicking himself mentally for not seeing all of this as she turned over the next card, a...boat with a bundle of swords? As she went on to describe its meaning, he almost laughed. "I was honestly just thinking exactly that."

The next card was a woman in gold. He tried to figure out the "work" that Zodiac described and was confused by it. He did work for Keara but that was hardly something that he was throwing himself in to. Thoughts turned to the countless hours and nights he spent in the sewers, hunting the paladins, defending the city as he saw it. Was that not the "work" Nox had called him to do and was he not avoiding everything by doing nothing but that?

He was motionless as the next card revealed, the image reminding him far too much of the lesson with Mircea. As much as he had asked for it, it was not a pleasant experience. It was true that he feared what he might do to hurt those that he wanted to be close to, but it was paired equally with a fear that they would hurt him with rejection. All in all...definitely thinking too much about this but he had always been a worrier.

Unsure of what to say to the final description, he simply sat in anticipation of the final card, worried about what it might show him but trusting what Zodiac had said that fate was not set in stone and that this was merely a description of what could happen.

[Zodiac]

She watched him carefully now. When a reading turned this grim in tone and description, sometimes her clients began to panic or freak out, but Jonah appeared calm about the process so far or was too 'Iron Man' to admit it. All Zodiac could do was reiterate that this was a warning and things could change if he tried. It disturbed her when they turned out like this, but the cards were the cards and sometimes they showed hard lessons to learn and not all happy news to those who shuffled them.

"So far," she began, "We see a lot of strength overall in this picture. Strength is not always about muscle power and brawn, but strength of character and will. The mind and resolve. As grim as some of this looks, it screams to me that the person I am dealing with here tonight is one who does not back down from things and will do what it takes to reach and achieve what they feel they must do."

She began to gesture at the cards already in place. "The knights, Strength itself, the sword cards-all point to this in their own ways. But again, for your situations to improve, you may have to learn how not to be strong at times or more open to things around you. Also the pentacles suggest wealth or success. Meaning when you decide to do something you are or quickly become good at it and the cups simply say you have feelings. This reading has some positive messages to it despite being so gloomy, trust me."

Her left hand hovered the deck. "The final card represents the outcome of it all if you remain on this course you have set yourself to. Some argue that since you have seen all of this, some things have changed already and this is not so accurate a card now, but I cannot say if that is so."

Zodiac pulled the final card and placed it above the Ten of Swords. "The Two of Cups-reversed. A card of love when like this. Now you might think 'oh, well all of this is not so bad then' but this one reversed like this warns of 'false' love. What we might think is a solid relationship no matter how it is may not be the real thing. Infatuations with others you may not have met yet. Instability. Meaning you may have what you feel are better relationships but your desires may read more into them than is actually there. Eagerness? Simply put, if things do not change and you find yourself with others who may seem to like you or appreciate you, you may go a bit overboard in the process."

Zodiac continued to look over the spread as she took another sip from her cup. "Let's be honest. Relationships can be the best and worse thing anyone can deal with. There is no one easy pattern, plan, path or pill to take to fix things. Like fingerprints, everyone is different and two people together makes it even more confusing at times. You need to find a way to relax and work on your people skills a bit. When you talk to others, is it an exchange of views and opinions or does it sound like orders being given? Are you receptive to other views? Take interest in what others feel is special, even if its the dumbest thing you could imagine. That's a big part of what relationships are about too. Seeing things from another's perspective and not just your own."

She began to jot the details of the reading down on her legal pad now as she continued to 'speak'. "Start by talking to people. Simple. There has to be more than just you in that asylum across the way. Say hi, ask how's it going, tell bad jokes, something. Open up the lines of communication. Learn to listen as well as speak. And I will tell you what. You can practice on me if you'd like. I listen very well and talk a lot as you may have noticed."

Zodiac stood up and moved to the side of the table Jonah sat by. "When it comes to relationships," she ran a finger along one of his claws "That doesn't matter, nor does this." she then sat her hands around his bicep and squeezed, the pulled them away. She then pointed with her finger and tapped him softly on his breastbone. "But this matters the most, and from what I have seen in this reading you have a good one in there, despite what you think of yourself. Killers, despite the bad assed I could care less attitudes can be the most passionate people there are. I know this from personal experience. You need to get comfortable with yourself before you can expect others to be comfortable with you. It will be a process, but it will be worth it."

[Jonah]

The room seemed to grow smaller to Jonah as he waited for the final card to be turned over but as the seconds drug on, it became obvious that the woman was concerned for him and that she did not feel comfortable for him to face whatever he was going to have to face in the final card until he was more settled. As she went over the different things had been revealed this night, he tried to see them through her eyes.

Strength was something that he had worked all of his life to achieve and he had it. There was more to life than strength though and while the goals he had set for himself were good ones...perhaps it was time for him to focus on other things. To branch out more. And both Zodiac and the cards seemed to think that he would be able to be successful at being...whatever else he might want to try and be.

He swallowed and cleared his throat, taking a sip from the blood that had chilled from earlier to try and ease the tension in his throat as she explained the importance of the last card. "I think...I understand."

As much focus as he tried to give the card that she turned over, he was primarily paying attention to her description of its meaning. At the first words, it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Even if the approach he had been taking was problematic, at least it would end in something positive. So many faces had crossed his mind tonight that he did not think of romantic love at first, but something more akin to the love between family or friends.

Her words of caution made his stomach twist and left him feeling empty. So everything he had been doing was wrong. He knew it. Apparently he wasn't so consistent at succeeding at new goals he set for himself. He forced the tankard to the table and willed his hands to not squeeze in to the table or his legs in frustration. This was no one's fault but his own and he had learned something from all of this at least and, like she had said, there his destiny was his own.

"I...may take you up on that offer. The asylum...there's not many there most of the time and we're all...a bit quiet."

The motion of her standing was unexpected and he tried to match it, thinking that she was ready to get him out of the shop but the reading still weighed heavily on him and she was on his side of the table before he could even start pushing up from the chair. He flinched visibly as her fingers met his claws and squeezed his bicep, but there was no malice in her actions so he tried to calm himself as she reiterated her point that what she saw in the cards was that he was a good person.

For the first time that evening, he reached out and covered her small hand with his much larger one and returned the gentle squeeze that she had offered him so many times through the reading, "I'll promise I'll try. Can't do much more than that though."

[Zodiac]

Her hand felt loss as his covered it and squeezed. A person might wonder if such a hand could not easily snap their hand free of their arm if it chose to, but the gypsy stood their calmly as she listened. "A person far wiser than either of us once said it is not if we succeed of fail, but by our attempts we shall be measured by. All anyone can do is try. It is when we stop trying or caring that we are truly lost."

She pulled a business card from her skirt pocket and wrote a couple of numbers on it and handed it to him. "You can text me at this one and the other will put you in touch with the girl out front if you feel the need to make another appointment. I am always happy to help if I can. " Zodiac offered a bright smile. "You mentioned your relationship with your childe was out of sorts. Next time we can discuss that in depth if you'd like. Can offer suggestions. Even try and talk to her for you. Least try to get her to listen if you'd like. Is an idea if nothing else. Meanwhile we can work on your own sense of expression and conversation."

The mystic watched the man-giant stand up and got that feeling she was standing in a hole again for a moment. Zodiac turned and stood at his side for a moment. "I swear. Have you on my left, my security guard-Chaindog- on my right, walk in somewhere and people be 'if it takes two monsters like that to keep that little girl out of trouble she must be one, bad assed little *****." Her giggles danced in his thoughts like tiny bubbles. "Is a joke, you can laugh. Odds are I'd be the one trying to keep the two of you out of trouble."

The girl regained her composure and faced her guest. Placing her palms together, she inclined her head to Jonah. "Thank you for trusting such a view of yourself with me. As doctors do, I treat these sessions as confidential so nothing we discussed here today will leave this room or my thoughts." She glanced at the cards on the table again. "As I am sure you are probably tired of me saying, the cards are signs and guideposts. Sometimes warnings of what may happen if things do not change. The rest is up to you now, but as I also said you have the amazing me to help if you'd like. Blessings of the night to you and yours, Jonah. Unless you have anymore questions, I will walk you out when you are ready to go."

[Jonah]

"There's another saying though. Do or do not, there is no try." The comment was half serious and half joking so he forced himself to chuckle as he took the business card. "I will keep this in mind. Even just to have someone to talk to. It's...been difficult." His existence had not been horrible but there was no use trying to hide the loneliness he felt now when she already knew so much about him.

He rolled his eyes at her comment. He didn't know Chaindog but could make a few assumptions about him based on what she said. "I'm sure we wouldn't be able to keep you in check in the slightest."

"I'm grateful for all you've done for me tonight and I'm taking everything as suggestions." He ran his nails over his scalp. "To be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect from this tonight. The fact that it was so..." He struggled to choose an appropriate word that would not offend but couldn't think of anything so settled for what he started to say in the beginning, "grim made it more...believable I guess. Too many people try and sell the idea that everything is going to workout no matter what."

The big man shook his head both to answer her question and to rid himself of the less than pleasant thoughts that were still clinging to him from the reading. "No questions yet but I think I'll come by again soon. If nothing else, I still owe you some answers about." He stepped to her side, to let her lead the way out, the time in the Purple Parlor having disoriented him enough that he doubted his ability to wander out on his own.