The Musings of Keara Aithne

[Keara Aithne]

29th November 2013

Like I do not without him to sleep. Rest well I do not when with me he is not. Know I do that written that before I have but now perhaps better understanding do I have. Like I do to think that dependent upon him I am, as dependant am I in this time on no-one. But true is that love him I do. Think perhaps worry or fear me this way does make. Hope I do that he away from me not often goes. Like this feeling I do not. Hunting different is with him gone. No real enjoyment gain I from creatures to cull. Strange that is. Understand correlation there I do not. Think on that more I shall.

Whine in here I wish not too. If cry I do not. Whine I should not. That my way is not. Emails to him perhaps place for such things would be. Since prefers he does that I my thoughts direct to him tell. Change his mind in that he likely shall. My thoughts in here I do pen so that in my mind they need not stay. Wish his mind to burden with them also I do not. Though respect his wish I shall. Sent him new song today: When You’re Gone by Avril Lavigne. Think I do that, that my state of mind well does display. Glad I was for raid, though heard I have that boss killed has been, so over soon it shall be. Need new distraction to find if next few days quickly I wish to pass. Leave now I shall for theatre. Play in sand. Like I do that he his room for me did dress. No-one so sweet a gesture for me hath e’er made.

~#~

Forgot to write earlier I did that I a relic picked up today. Killed an apprentice sorcerer I did and found glove of some sort. Play with that later shall. No idea what does it. Perhaps take it shall to magic shop and have it appraised. Likely know they shall what function it has.

[Keara Aithne]

1st December 2013

Surprised me he did yesterday by early home to come. Loved that I did. Love him I do. Missed him while away he was and glad am I him back home to have. Need do nothing do we for me happy with him to be. Content I was just by him to rest. Worry I do now for if ever leaves me he does. Sure I am not how cope in that I would. Such thoughts hate I to have. Cross them through I should. Yet help that would not these thoughts to quell.

~#~

Strange start had I to this eve. Online I was and speaking to Enver, even though he next to me lay. Perhaps easier it was our questions to ask through such a medium. Though that matters not. Strange begun my night was. Not only has he my boundaries crossed, but think I do that I my own boundaries over did step. Bit him I did. Expected that I did not. Know I do not where such impulses from do come. Though…angry he was not, so think I do that he that did not mind. Bit me too he did. Strange sensation did that give. Bitten before I have been. By Necuratists and creatures but…different sensation do they give. Like I do not for Necuratists from me to feed, always against my will that was. Creatures. Well creatures bite do. Expect as much on occasion to be bitten by them. Then Enver. Unique that was. Animalistic but…pleasantly so. If pleasant a bite can be. Describes that does both sensation which had I did from my fangs in him to have and his in mine. Blood of our kind different is. See I do how Necuratists so twisted can become. Keep myself in check I must. Become one such as that I shall not.

More disturbing perhaps is power that possess I do. Made I did the room to shake. Mirror cracked is, bulb broken, things moved. While know I do from where power comes, knew instinctively did that from me emanated it did. Stabbed myself the disturbance to stop. Effective that was, though…perhaps best learn another way I should for that to control. If controlled it can be. Or even returns it does. Leave this here shall. New raid is there in city, so now strength returned has, going I am.

[Keara Aithne]

3rd December 2013

Troubling experience had I tonight. For reason unknown to me. Powers absent are. Work they will not. Nothing that do I can work shall. To a café I went for an email to Enver to send. Most kind and calm he was with me but clueless as I he is in this. Told him sooner perhaps I should have, as waited some hours I did before I him involved in this. Embarrassed I was for him to tell. Wonder I do if overused my powers I have. Know that I much of my energies of late used have. Possible explanation is…yes? Though never before have I such a thing to me happen have. Hope I do that tomorrow better news have I to write. As if return they do not, find reason why I must.

[Keara Aithne]

4th December 2013

My powers returned have! Most thankful I am for that. Though know I do not what yesterday happened. Hope I do that not again to experience. Most worrying was, as used to my powers I have become.

Talk with Enver today I must. A little cold towards me he has become. Track him down I shall once a little of my energy I have in the catacombs to good use put. So rested I wish not to be in case something says he does that wish I do not to hear.

~#~

With Enver I have spoken and thought I did that he me wished to leave. Know now that wrong I was in that. Worry he does for my powers. Or more accurately, worries he does the cause to be of most recent disturbing ones. Worry for that I do not. Like I do affect that has on me he does. Think I do that Nox and Helios at work are for balance in my life to restore. Like that thought do. Balance important is. So much joy one cannot have without pain. If pair those two I may. Know I do that love which feel I do strong is. So strong an emotion in my life I have not to this date felt. So natural is that negatives with the positives are brought. To my mind at least. Worry I do more that feelings subside shall. Think quite empty then my life shall feel. For live one can without something they’ve ne’er possessed. Now felt this way I have, no way see I forward without it…without him.

One point of contention had we in which perhaps rash in my response have been. Told I was that friends important are. While see that I can. Family of more importance to me is. Need one does not so many friends when family they have. Disregarded that he did. Think perhaps that on my mind did weigh as…dare I this to write? Yes. Perhaps dare I do for nothing wrong have I done. Happy I am with decision that made I did. Shannon nice is. Amiable. New son have I now. Tell Enver shall when Shannon a little time to adjust has had. Perhaps introduce both to family I can on same eve. Hope I do that introductions well do go.

[Keara Aithne]

6th December 2013

Regret I do not my decision for another childe to take. Shannon at least home has returned. That positive sign is. Hope I do that his strength he continues to build, as too many lost I have before find their footing they do. Uriel such a one is. Seen them again I have not.

Write I must that far more accustomed I am now to his touch. Hardly do I even feel the need for him to strike. Worries me does…slightly. As prepared I am not for into such a relationship to enter. Though, knew I did that that possibility was. Perhaps research in this I should do. Internet too much information has. Look for DVD I shall. That perhaps easier shall be for instructions to follow than if I a book buy.

~#~

Many sites those things do sell. Daunting was. Too much choice. Found I did a local trader in Redwood. My time in there I had to take, as still, much choice they had. Looked I did for what normal is. If normal word is that applied can be to such things. Still. 3 DVDs found I and mind I do not to write that only served they have my fears to heighten. If that from me he expects, wonder I do if e’er ready I shall be. Know I do not if this unto him I should tell? Perhaps best would be with someone else to speak.

~#~

Sara struggling still is. Need check on her more often perhaps I do. Learned I did today that she a son has. Mind that I do not. Though worry I do for her sanity. More issues she has than many to this life to adjust. Clings to her mortal mindset still she does. Though, corrected self she did when ‘your kind’ said was. That progress shows.

[Keara Aithne]

7th December 2013

Woke badly did this eve. Know I do not how my mind does work. Mystery to me that still is. So bad was I not when into slumber I was pulled. Then woke I did and near him I could not stay. Polluted my mind I have. That perhaps the truth is. Though after confessed I did what done yesterday was, better did I feel. Better did he me feel...in literal sense. SO DVDs perhaps bad idea were not. Faced my fear through those to watch perhaps I did. Patient with me he is. Like I do sensations that he in me awakens...now that understand them better I do.

This night alone we have spent. Our cell our haven did become and new things did I experience through this to do. Unexpected is affect that he upon me has. For never were we long parted. Drawn back we were to one another, time and again. Persistent say I would he is but...know I do that I the blame in this too must share. Wanted I did his kisses. Like I do in his arms to be. Wondering am why he for me so different is? Centuries spent I with Ven and never did we to this point come. Different time perhaps. Said that before have and still...attraction of this form between us there was not. Wonder do what future brings.

[Keara Aithne]

8th December 2013

Too generous he is. A silver chain tonight to me he did give. Heart shaped pendant upon it does hang. More my style this is but still...wear it I cannot as fashion dictates. Too lose it would be. Prefer I do my accessories bound to me to be. So wrap this too I shall upon my wrist. My other wrist. One gold, one silver have I now. Balance perhaps that creates. Silver perhaps better my complexion suits but so vain am I not. Love I do that he such things for me does find.

~#~

Skating we went. Though that statement perhaps false is. As skate I did more with Robert than with My Love. See I do now how that him perhaps did anger. Wrong I was away from him to pull without a word. Remember next time I shall my thoughts to tell. Deserves as much he does. Hope I do in time that sees he does how true a friend Robert to him is. For wishes me to know he does for Enver's sake. Kind he was to me when needed kindness I did. That I shall not forget.

As for reason for my faux pas. Deanna my mind much damaged did with her words. Thankful I am that she her ways has reformed, even if avoiding me she is in this. Like I would not for her to that realm once more to send. Though know my thinking twisted has been. Remember I must that he and that female no relationship had. Jealous of her I need not be. For yes, jealous I am. Like I do not that he always surrounded by women is, when with me he is not. Though with me often is. Chooses that he does. By me to stay. Remember that also I must. My emotions tempered must be. Hope I do that that possible is.

Most important development till last I have left, as...gave myself to him I did. Indescribable the experience was. No justice could I it do through words to pen, so try I shall not. Only say I shall that my fears unnecessary were. Glad I am that we this step have taken. Perhaps know he shall now that I his am. No other so familiar with my form is or e'er likely shall be, as attraction such as this to another have I never felt. Attraction between us strong has become...and confess I should that his form to me more appeal now has. Beginning I am to understand why he to my form does look on occasion. Assume I can only that his thoughts a mirror of my own in moments such as that. Perhaps one day look I shall and see.

[Keara Aithne]

11th December 2013

Not much have I now to write as left our room we have not since returned we did on Sunday eve. Though need I do something to records, as improving my powers still are. Pen this today I do while the sun in the sky doth hang. Long has it been since I the light of Helios upon my skin have had. Though...know I do not if today the day shall be for that to experience. Too content I am with My Love to stay. Perhaps tomorrow experience that I shall. Like I would sunrise or sunset to witness, as long it has been since my eyes such a thing did see without the pain that for our kind accompanies such wonders does. Perhaps ask Enver I shall, if today we the sun could watch for below the horizon to creep? Nox knows that I the strength need from our cell to crawl. Stay here I could have for eternity, as no good reason had I before this for My Love's arms to leave.

[Keara Aithne]

12th December 2013

This eve, much like most of late, with My Love was spent. Went we did to his theatre as records there wished he to play. Confess I must that music to my heart did not speak, though say as much to him I did not. Happy he seemed for Sinatra to listen to. Take that away from him I would not. Know I do not why he the birth of Sinatra would celebrate but then long has it been since I such a need felt. Even in first life stopped I did not such things to note. Ven of course my birth would celebrate but that his choice was. Said always he did that thankful he was for the day and that remembered it should be. Think I do that Enver the same does feel for Sinatra.

While music tiresome was, enjoyed I did with him to dance. Distracted then I became by in his eyes to look. When so close to him I am forget I could my very name. Troubled perhaps by this development I should be, but like I do the feelings that my haze does accompany; trade them I would not for all the clarity this world possesses. Most enjoyable was too in his arms to lay. Wonder I do how possible it was this experience sooner not to have had. Though think I do, that perhaps ignorance my saving grace was, as knew then I did not feel I could. Angry perhaps I would be for time lost for this to know, if believed I did not that Nox me pure kept for him. Dwell on the past I shall not, for believe I do that he my future is.

[Keara Aithne]

13th December 2013

Shannon stronger is growing. Pleases me this does. Worry I do for each new childe that take I do and either way they can go. Sent me he did telepathic message this eve. Most proud of him I am. Think that perhaps introduce him to Sara I should, if met him already she has not. Not far apart are they in turning and perhaps help one another their gifts to learn they could.

Shock it is still when see him I do in Asylum. For moment believe I almost could that Weylin before me does stand. Perhaps tried harder I should have for my family this gift with me to share but still…holocaust likely them too from me would have taken.

Encouraged I did Enver for this raid alone to explore. Though believe I do that he my company sought. Usually happy I would have been for by his side to stand but tonight business have I to take care of and creatures not nearly so interesting are to me. Though…curious I would be for him to follow. See him in combat I rarely do. Perhaps next time join him I shall, as almost certain I am that this decision regret I shall.