Virtual apology (Closed)

[Keara Aithne]

They'd met a good three months back but what had begun as a rather strained encounter had ended with the two of them parting ways on better terms. They weren't friends, that much was clear but if they were to cross paths again, the exchange of words would likely be civil in nature. Two months later that this civil exchange of words began. At first they just seemed to be crossing path and resting in the same areas, so the conversation was polite and respectful in nature. However as the month went on, the two had found themselves seeking one another out and spending a little more time in one another's company. They exchanged powers, gifts but their friendship was still rather new and at times a little awkward and even volatile. It was one of the more volatile moments that led to the following exchange of emails.

Keara had made her way to the raid and waited till she was on the second floor before finding a corner to rest in. She'd used the hunt to clear her mind and focus her thoughts and was ready to set her thoughts into words. She was worried that her behaviour the night before would cause her friend to turn his back on her and so in an effort to smooth things over she had decided to explain herself in an email to him. Her hope being that he would forgive her and perhaps understand her a little more. She settled with her back against the wall, closed her eyes and used the power of technokinesis to write and send her message to him. In this situation Mind Speak wasn't going to be appropriate as she had a lot to say and as she'd told Sara a few nights before, sometimes emails were the better form of communication for one that walked upon the path of the telepath.

__________

To: Enver Marshall II
From: Keara Aithne
Subject: Last Night

Message:
Dear Enver,

While sure I am that agree you shall not, apologise once more I must. Behaviour of mine yesterday unacceptable was.

If honest I am, ashamed am I of my behaviour. While wish that write I could that that behaviour quite unlike me is, to do so false would be. What say I can is that seldom have I such a moment had since returned I did from accursed realm. Wish I do that that side of me still dormant lay. Sorry I am that experienced that you did.

Wonder I do though why such behaviour sooner in me not re-awoken was? Speak I do not of the moment in which struck you were. Speak I do of the moments that preceded that. Think perhaps it due is to friendships that held I have since my return. You the first person are that me like a normal person treats. For that thank you I must. Love those of my blood I do but different our relationship is. Expected there I am the answers to have and a leader to be. My blood with nothing other than respect have me treated. While close with some I am. While love them I do. Different I am with them. Friendships outside of clan for me too few in number are also. Hidden away I tried to stay while leant of this world I did. Interact only did I through online guilds. Places of business. Again, expectations upon me there were placed. Know I do that you me with respect also treat. But while respect me you do, friendship of ours (if such a label attach to us I may) born of different circumstances was. In effort of a friendship with you to retain, continue below I do myself a little to explain.

Spoke last night you did of rules. Though perhaps rule too strong a word is. Sort things out you said. In regards to touching. Still understand I do not why like to be touched I do not. Why it me so crazy makes. Acted on instincts I did when struck you I did. Know that no sense it perhaps makes to you that able to touch others I am, when their touch me so enrages. Thought on this I have since night we the Predator blood wine drank. Think perhaps correct you may have been. When touch another, know I do the sensation to expect. When interaction other way runs, predict it always I cannot. While sense that makes. Tell you I did not that always worse for me sensations are if skin to skin the contact is. Like when grabbed my wrists that night you did. Felt your touch long after sensation should have faded. Willing on my issues I am to work. Know that my reactions tempered can be. Have I do a childe that me will embrace. At first pulled away I always did. Unbearable her actions to me were. Now, while still not used to such things I am, allow I her that interaction. Fear she need not that strike her I shall.

Behave I said I would last night. Behave I always try to in the presence of others. Sides of me there are that yet to see you have. Say they god or bad are I cannot. Only hope I do that patience you will have with me in this. That if offend you I do, that know you shall it unintentional is. That if questions of me you have, ask them you may. Bare here my soul in words I do. For of such things I rarely talk. What me, me makes I do not always understand. Broken I returned from other Realm. While know I do that never shall I who I once was be. While that path lost to me is. Happy am I this new path to walk. This new world to learn. Time have I needed to adjust. Adjusting still I am. Hope I do that understand me better now you can. That realise you do that no offense I meant to cause. Open book I am to our kind. While likely avoid I shall of my first life to speak. Avoid it I do for the pain those memories that in me are caused. Open I am in sense that if you something of me ask. An answer you shall receive.

Sincerely yours,

Keara

[Enver Marshall II]

Everything had changed in the matter of seconds. They'd been hanging out as they normally do, when a bout of playful banter started up. What started out as nothing more than teasing between two friends, turned sour quick when the male had touched Keara in an attempt to get his suit coat back from her. He had done his best to make sure that he never intentionally touched her (as promised), but an arm had touched her as he reached around her to snag it back and Enver had felt the impact of that choice. Literally.

Enver had assumed things were semi smoothed over by the time he had fallen asleep, but when the male woke up, Keara had vanished without a word. She had left him some items he needed for something he believed strongly in, but she was gone like your typical shadow. It had left the male wondering what would become of the unlikely relationship between the two.

He had showered, fed and went to make a nightly deposit in his account when finally, there was an olive branch of sorts, offered by her thoughts in his head. Enver felt a hand pull at the collar of his button down as her thoughts finished as he stood in the line at the bank. What she had said? thought? He wasn't sure, didn't sound too promising. She had sent him an email and was apologizing.

The male pulled out his blackberry and checked his emails, even if he hated doing any serious business on his phone. This seemed like something that needed his immediate attention. He read the email once, then again as he tried to wrap his head around things. It was apparent she felt bad, but in truth, the guy also felt like a dick when he called her out on her double standards. He hit reply without really knowing what to say and just started typing away.

To: Keara Aithne
From: Enver Marshall II
Subject: Re: Last Night

Message:

Keara,

First, stop apologizing. In my head, verbally or through an email. I told you I wouldn't touch you, which should apply to even accidents. Besides, I've been hit a hell of a lot harder from people I've befriended a year or so ago.

I'm not sure what to tell you, Keara. My presence seems to bring out a side of people they don't want or like. So, it's probably not all you, or you at all. As for the touching thing, maybe it's something to do with my path the reason you still felt it on your arms the other night. I'm sure anything is possible in the vampire world. You said you're not afraid of me, so I'm not sure why my touch makes you act that way. I don't have any plans of doing anything to you, or hurting you, so I'll just put it down as you've had some bad experiences in the past. Either your old past or recent past.

I'm not offended by what you did or what you've said. Seems it's not just me you don't like being touched by, so can't really be offended by that, right? I'm willing to help you if I can, but it seems you're starting to make progress with your one creation, so maybe it's best to start there?

Let's just jot it down as a situation that got out of control? I'll try and be more conscious next time.

Regards,

E. Marshall II

[Keara Aithne]

It wasn't too long before a reply came from Enver. She had sat, unmoving from her spot as she thought over the events of last night. How a little harmless had led to this she didn't know but then when she was around him, sides of her she thought she'd lost seemed to bubble up to the surface. She'd not reflected on why that was aside the fact that he was an allurist and the only one that she'd met to date that had no expectations of her. She sighed at that thought as the thought of losing her only real friend troubled her more than she would like to admit.

When his reply came through she read it over and hung her head. She drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms about them before laying her head on her knees for added support. The message seemed cold and there was little in there to suggest that he felt anything other than pity towards her. Sure he wanted to help, she couldn't deny that but he still thought it best she stick with her blood. That thought was something she had long felt and it was a feeling she had only just started to rid herself of. Even before she met Enver she had been trying to take advantage of random situations when her paths crossed with others. She was no allurist but she had been determined to make an effort and that effort now left her bereft of hope.

Curled up in the darkness, her posture unchanged, she 'wrote' her reply.

__________

To: Enver Marshall II
From: Keara Aithne
Subject: RE: Last Night

Message:
Dear Enver,

Apologise I must if wrong I have done. Of me you that can always expect. Raised I was not my mistakes to ignore. If penance made must, penance make I shall. For that side of me no apology shall I make.

My past, past is. No other way can it be. It is the future with which I am more concerned. Wronged me no one has. Yes. Feel I do that I abandoned by my sire was. Cheated by fate we were, when deaths divide allowed for only my return. My sibling with me do I have but the same it is not. No fear have I of you. True that is. Know I do that no part play you in my affliction. No worse is it with you than any other. BI, childe of my blood, persistent was. Through her persistence ground was made. Yet wish I such a path with others I do not take. Recoil from my friends I should not. No pleasure take I in that fact and no attention pay I to my fault. Perhaps like I do myself from this place to distant. Though if true that was. So drawn to the world around me I would not be. Seen you have a little that tactile I am with things that in my path lay, so long as things not of flesh are. As stated before. Broken I am. Know I do not how I, I myself should mend.

Understand I do that rather you would that I to my own blood turn. Not long have we each other known. My oddities too odd for most to bare. Know perhaps now why you do I in the shadows so often dwell. Safe am I in the darkness. With no reflection one can truly oneself lose. Perhaps too far along my path I have travelled. Return perhaps I never can. Believe me you would not, if told you I did, that in previous life able I was in any situation blend. Social gatherings for me no fear held. The touch of another while sometimes unwelcome was, natural was to me. A shadow of my former self I truly became. Accursed realm took more from me than I ever can exclaim. One of your path perhaps my plight cannot understand, for natural to you this all must come.

If see you in the days that follow I do not, understand I shall. Wish nothing but the best for you I do.

Be safe in the darkness,

Keara

[Enver Marshall II]

Her reply came quicker than he expected, but then the male remembered that she was also a telepath and could do that sort of mind stuff. He waited until he was at the library to open it up, his eyes doing a quick search of the area, looking for anyone he knew or anyone he wanted to avoid. He sat back in the chair, thinking what he said had sorted things out good enough.

What he saw instead was not something he expected. A hand went to his face, rubbed at his eyes and then smeared its way down the whole length of his face. This is why he hated emails. He was starting to remember. She'd taken what he said and blew it out of proportion.

To: Keara Aithne
From: Enver Marshall II
Subject: RE: RE: Last Night

Message:

Keara,

What in the hell are you going on about? I'm not going to stop hanging out with you over some stupid misunderstanding. If I did, I'd have no friends and probably no "family," or whatever the hell you call those who you sire and they sire.

I just meant start small, then go bigger to work on things you want to work on.

Why do you keep emailing me, instead of telling me this stuff to my face? It's not like I'm avoiding you, or you probably can't rummage around my head and find out where I'm at. Look, I know you're not stupid, but stop suggesting stupid ****. If I didn't want to be your friend, I wouldn't have even bothered replying.

Sorry for swearing at you, but I'm not sure where you're getting these ideas at.

Regards,

Enver Marshall II

[Keara Aithne]

Curled up as she was, she was still insecure in her emotions and Enver's reply, when it did come, did little to lift her spirits. She was falling quickly into a despair the likes of which her mind usually reserved for the recollection of her oldest and fondest memories. The ones that threw up the past and reminded her of what she'd lost; her family, her sister, her sire. Beautiful memories that tore her heart to shreds and could cripple her with pangs of longing. These emotions rarely stirred in her these days as she tried when she could to unburden herself of her past through short conversations with those of her blood. Unfortunately for Enver, she had found a friend in him, someone in whom she felt comfortable confiding her darkest self as she would with her kin. She trusted him and it was likely that that trust could just as easily end their friendship as it could strengthen it. With a heavy heart she replied once more.

__________

To: Enver Marshall II
From: Keara Aithne
Subject: RE: Last Night

Message:
Enver,

Ideas, as put it you do, from you come. Told you I did that in the mind of another I try not to probe. That still true is. So know I do not how or what you think. Power limited is also. So gleam I would only events that significant to you are. So expect I do not your thoughts of me ever to know, even if invade your mind I did.

Say these things I do in mail as to your mind too much information it would be. Know also I do that you the raids do not frequent. Least see you in them I do not remember. Above such practices you likely are. So unless you to the second floor would come, say this to your face I cannot, as currently free to leave I am not. Also, if truthful I must be. Some things easier said are when upon the face of another you do not need to look. My shadow nature deep doth run and be who I am not, I cannot be.

Need reply to me you need not for your conscience to ease. Ask of you I shall not more than you can handle. And handle me no-one can. Least that is what my heart believes. My blood family are. Yes. Believe that. Know that I do. Connected we are. Of me they are. But handle me they too cannot. Should not. I am no-one’s burden but my own. If will I do myself to change perhaps change I shall but no reason have I upon my own boundaries to push. The darkness in which I dwell, comforting is to me. Why change what written has been? Why push when pushing nothing brings. Lost is all that I was. All that am insufficient is. A shadow of a shadow. Devoid of substance.

Sorry I am these words to think. Your impression of me irrevocably changed likely is. Whine thusly I do not. But why strive to better what better cannot be made? Little and much have I changed, since from the realm naked did I creep. Reborn to a world to which I no longer belonged. A stranger in my own skin. A skin that me betrays. Ask I should not have, for you patience with me to have, for owe me nothing you do. Kinder than the kindest soul have you to me been. And tainted I have that which tainted should not have been. Pen such words perhaps I better should. And those words under lock and key then keep. Long has it been since I someone so honest could speak. Apologise I must again my thoughts to unburden unto you.

Sincerely,

Keara

[Enver Marshall II]

The male was hacking on the computer, looking for evidence that he knew was out there, when he was alerted to the fact he had another email. He felt pretty good about opening it, because he was pretty sure he laid it all out there for her and there'd be no misunderstanding. He was wrong. The male groaned, stood up and began pacing the aisle of two book rows, while he muttered to himself under his breath.

After ten minutes or so, Enver felt defeated. He couldn't come up with a resolution. Nothing that would get her to stop her yammering and making things seem worse than they were. He sighed, sat back down in the chair and typed out the only thing he could think of.

To: Keara Aithne
From: Enver Marshall II
Subject: RE: Last Night

Message:

Keara,

Stop thinking, stop typing and summon me if you can. I think all shadows can, yeah?

Enver Marshall II

OOC Note: considered an ally and added as one.

[Keara Aithne]

Keara began to believe that she might be waiting for a reply that would never come. That feeling lead her deeper into darkness and subconscious she began to affect her surroundings, calling on her powers so that she could literally fall into darkness. The power however did not last long and had begun to wear off by the time Enver made his reply. There was no mistaking his words this time, they were simple, direct, to the point. While he had been wrong to assume that all shadows had the power to summon someone, Keara had indeed trodden upon the bridge of the summoner and acquired the power to summon an ally. It had been some time since she had used the power last, if she had ever used it at all but before she could consider what it was she had to do, or if even if she wished to summon him, there he was. In considering if she wanted to summon him, she had in fact done the deed against her will; this was a testament to how weak her willpower was and how strong her emotions were, what with the normal balance of her mind in turmoil. In her haste to bring him to her, she hadn't found the time to speak into his mind and tell him that she would do as he has asked. Had she her wits about her, she would have waited a moment or two to carry out the request, having suggested that he log out of his account before she pulled him away. As it stood however, it was too late for her to offer him such advice.

She raised her head from her knees when she realised that someone now stood before her and upon seeing his face, she quickly buried her head once more, pulling her hands up from their natural position around her legs and placed them over her head, as if trying to protect herself from an impending attack. She knew she had no physical reason to fear Enver, as she knew him well enough to know that he likely wouldn't strike a woman unprovoked but then that was not the issue. Had she of wanted to have had this conversation face to face she would have stayed with him when she woke and broached the topic then. Feeling all the more exposed, even with her face buried in her knees and her head hidden under her arms, she once again became shrouded in darkness. While Enver, if using his vampiric sight, could still likely make out the vague shape of her form through the dark, unnatural blanket she had wrapped herself in, she was content to believe that it afforded her a much needed place within which she could more easily hide.

[Enver Marshall II]

He was trying to get ready for what he knew, or at least thought would come. Each time he was pulled half way across town, the guy did his best to keep what was in his stomach, there. It rarely went in his favor. The male thought of the last time he'd eaten and what he had eaten and then frowned as he felt his body being called somewhere. It was either Keara, or River, because those were the only two people in the city he would allow to drag him all over Timbuktu.

When he came to where the individual wanted him to be, Enver felt his eyes rolling in his head. He reached out for a wall, the first one he could "see," and rolled forward due to his lack of focus with his eyes. With his wobbly steps, the male felt it rising in his stomach. He swallowed once, twice and even a third time, but no matter what he did, it wasn't going to work out for him. Enver hunched over at about the time some blood, coffee and some Italian dish made its way out of him, barely missing his right shoe.

He reached for a wall again in an attempt to steady him, the male still bent over as he waited for his stomach to settle. Once it had, he reached inside the pocket of his suit, pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his mouth off. "Great." He muttered, thinking now that he should have just bought a key or tried to find one the hard way. When he saw her, he frowned, sighed and shook his head.

"Don't things normally try to hide from you and not the other way around in these raids?" He cracked a small grin on his face in an attempt to lighten the mood in a few ways. "Or are the things up here really that big and scary?" He stared at the top of her head, his eyes almost burning in to it, trying to get her to look at him or show some form of reaction.

[Keara Aithne]

The fact that he vomited didn't bother her, in fact tucked away as she was in her own little bubble of shame, she barely realised the affect the summoning had on him. In the wider scheme of thing it was just another thing for her to apologise for, even if he had told her to bring him to her. She'd likely have to atone for that little indiscretion at a later time, as for now she still couldn't understand why he wanted to even bother with her. If one of her own acted this way of course she'd be patient and try to get to the bottom of it, but Enver had no blood connection to her. His reasons for being so nice to her were lost amongst all the reasons he should just cut ties with her and walk away and in the mood she was in all she could see was the latter.

'You that scary are,' came the very honest reply that she delivered direct into his mind. What he didn't know was that she hadn't actually intended to reply to him and that this internalised thought happened to escape her mind of its own free will.

She continued to hold her protective pose, preferring that he not be able to see her face. The more she thought about the antics of the night, the guiltier she felt about it all. Everything had been fine between them and while he had perhaps started the event in his own innocent way, she had been the one to take it to the next level of annoyance. If anything he should have struck her. That last thought echoed in her mind, like perhaps allowing him to slap her back might ease her burden. It didn't seem likely that he'd accept an offer like that but she could at least make the offer. If she could ever bring herself to face him that was.

[Enver Marshall II]

He looked around after she talked, not real sure who she was talking about. It couldn't be him. Everyone knew his stance on violence (for the most part) and knew it would take a lot for the guy to intentionally want to hurt someone, to the possibility of him killing them.

When Enver didn't see anyone, he looked at her incredulously. "Me?" He pointed at his chest with a single thumb, then let a loud laugh out. "You're kidding, right?" He took a few steps backwards, just in case she wasn't, then sighed. "I'm sure your weapon tops mine." He added in, before the guy pulled out a small hand gun and showed it off to her. "See? Regular pea shooter." He added for emphasis as he put it away again.

"You hiding from me, or what happened? I said I didn't mind it." Enver said quietly after he looked at her for a few more seconds, knowing she didn't mean him, physically. "So, let's just forget about it and move on? So, this is what one of the top floors looks like, eh?" He took his gaze off her and looked around the floor, for something he'd never seen before. "Doesn't look that different from the first floor." His eyes moved back to her. "Can't hide in here forever, you know."