I know Who I am...(invite only)

[Tomi]

Tomi read the papers. It was a legal sized bank box that had been sealed and and authorized by signatures of people she didn't even know. It had come by courier almost two years ago, after her mom Sarah Murphy had died.

Her mom, Sara, or Sarah Murphy, known by her legal name, had died of cervical cancer in 2011. But Tomi just could not face digging through her mom’s stuff. She had been a single mom. Tomi knew how much she gave up for her. Tomi knew how much she sacrificed for her. Her mom wanted her to have everything the other kids had. But Tomi didn't want what the other kids had. She wanted her Mom. Sara worked double shifts to give Tomi music lessons and soccer lessons. Tomi didn't care about music or soccer. She just wanted her mom… who was working two jobs.

Sara struggled to try to put Tomi through college. Tomi didn’t even know what she wanted to do. Tomi spent her nights in conflict. Should she study this? Or should she study that? What would her mom really want? But then her mom was diagnosed with cervical cancer. Advanced cervical cancer. There would be no miracle cure for her. She fought hard. And Tomi spent every minute she could with her. The house was repossessed. The car was taken. The only thing left once her mom was buried was a box of papers.

Tomi couldn't face looking in the box. So the box stayed closed for closed to two years. It was when Starbucks told Tomi, that she was no longer needed, and that they appreciated her work, but downsizing dictated them letting her go. She was the last hired, therefore the first fired. She was as far down as she could possibly go.

Upon getting home, there it was. Staring at her. Just inside the front door. Her mom’s box. “Well hell.” She said to no one, “What do we have to lose?”

She opened the box.

Tomi was surprised at what she found inside. She had known her mom had been a marine, but she never had known she was a marine in Iraq. That was huge! And her mom never said a thing. Tomi pulled a stack of photos out. And flipped them slowly. They were all so young.

As Tomi flipped through the photos, she saw how the faces of everyone changed. They had started out fully fleshed and smiling. But by the time she got through the end of the photos, they were wan and strained and years older than they should have been. She knew then, what she had NEVER known, her mom only wanted the best for her, NO MATTER what the cost to Sarah.

Tomi wiped her eyes. She wanted to cry for her, but she knew she would hear her mom;s voice telling her, “You only cry when you have no option!”

Tomi had an option. She could honor her mom. She would look up her mom’s record. She would see that her mom got recognition for her dedication to her country. She would make sure everyone knew what a hero her mom was…

And then she found her birth certificate.

Tomi stared at the simple piece of paper. It listed a father. A father named Thomas.

Oh…

MY…

God….

I have a father!

[Tomi]

Tomi had a name and a rank. She had a date from the back of one of the photos. She tried not to get excited. Why hadn’t her mom told her? Her mom had struggled so much.. why not get help?

Tomi knew. Her mom had been too proud. She didn’t want to ask for help. And She remembered at every party or event that they didn't go to, was because they “weren’t the sort we want to impress Tomi.” She never understood that. What was the sort they wanted to impress?

But her mom knew who her dad was? Why not go after him?

Why not get child support when her mom struggled so ******* much?! Why wouldn't her mom go after child support? Why? Unless.. She pondered. Unless… She never told him? my dad doesn’t even know I ******* exist.

Tomi had often wondered at her name. There was nothing in the family that signified anything close to a Tomi, until she found the birth certificate with his name. Thomas Cook.

Tomi had a father. She bit her lower lip. She had a father. Thomas Cook. A Thomas Cook that was in Iraq in 1990, with her Mom.. How hard could that be?

[Chaindog]

He had just got back from his daily routine. Hunting, feeding, then out for a run. He didn't like to be bothered so he had left his phone at home. When he got in he had noticed the phone buzzing. A quick check informed him of an awaiting email. So logging onto his laptop he pulled up his mail and looked and neared stared at it in disbelief. Someone mailing his old human name. Very few knew that much and even fewer called him by his full name. Deciding that it might be something of importance he sent a message back.

"I am Captain Cook yes. Who is this?"

After hitting send his mind began to wonder who this person was. It was just a matter of minutes before he had a reply. He read the note and blinked a tad. This person asking if I had known a Sara Murphy. He thought on it for a few and then remembered. Corporal Murphy from his days in Iraq. A hell of a combat medic. Now he was growing more curious so he went on with his reply.

"I know a Corporal Murphy. Who is this and why do you ask?"

He hit the reply button again and went to get a change of clothing when the chime came back even quicker notifying him of yet another email. He came back and read it. This message had thrown him for a loop. This person was claiming to be his daughter Tomi Murphy. He started to laugh as he knew that was impossible as he never lost his cherry. Now he couldn't help but want to know more. This had to be some kind of game. Again he replied..

"I'm sorry but I think you have the wrong person."

He slipped off his boots just as a new message came in. She was asking if he had been in Iraq back in '90. For some reason this person knew a few things on him and he did not like it one bit. Now he was starting to get a tad upset and when that happened, bad things happened. But he closed his eyes and gathered his thoughts and sent another message.

"I was yes. Maybe we should meet in person. I do not like talking over e-mail as it can be traced. If you are who you say you are..You better bring me some
solid proof."

If was a few minutes before the next mail came in. He looked it over and nodded. She wanted to meet in a public place. The Mall. He let out a groan. He hated the mall worse than getting shot. But he responded that he would be there. He slipped on a fresh pair of clothing, slipped on his boots while tucking away a combat knife and slipped on his holster with .9mm He wasn't about to take any chances. He was in no hurry so he walked and within a matter of fifteen minutes he was in the dining court, sitting in a chair looking around to make sure he wasn't walking into a trap.

[Tomi]

Tomi entered the Mall and immediately felt a sense of dread. ‘Oh god.. what am I doing? This was great until .. until now.. ‘ She felt like she was going to throw up. In her head she had it planned out, she would be calm and self assured, the kind of daughter any man would look at and be proud to say, ‘That’s my daughter’.

But here, now, with the meeting just mere moments away, her stomach was doing somersaults. She should not have eaten. She had eaten on purpose, what if he has suggested they eat, then she could eat all dainty like a lady. He wouldn’t see her rather formidable appetite. Her mom had always teased her when she was young that she had the appetite of two marines. She had the appetite, but she was puny in size though. 5’2” and 102 pounds, fully clothed, dripping wet.

Tomi stared at the photo in her hand again, there were eleven people in the photo. Two were women, and the rest, men. He had to be one of the nine, because his name was written on the back of the photograph in her mother’s handwriting, clear and legible. Thomas Cook. But there was nothing to indicate which one of the men was Thomas Cook.

She gripped the manilla envelope that held her birth certificate, her mom’s discharge papers, her first ever report card from school and more photos from Iraq. She almost took out the report card from first grade, because in it’s notes was the phrase that would haunt her the rest of her like, “Tomi is a bright child, but she doesn’t know when stop.”

How many times had she gotten into trouble, because she just couldn’t let something go, until she did it right. Or if someone teased her, she would tackle them there on the spot and try to beat their face in, only to fail miserably, and then to add insult to injury, be beaten easily be the person she jumped.

She caught her reflection in the window of one the stores in the mall, she was presentable, but she wasn’t what one would call ‘pretty’. Tomi had debated what to wear for the first time meeting with her dad. She wanted to wear her very best clothes, but then what if he thought she was money hungry gold-digger, just there to find a meal ticket? So maybe jeans? No, then he might think she’s a slob, and never want to see her again. In the end, she wore her white blouse she wore when waitressing, and a pair of black slacks. Not too formal, yet not overly too casual either.

Tomi took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, lifted her chin and set her jaw. It was time. She headed to the center of mall, to see if she could spot him. She glanced quickly about looking for anyone in military attire, but apart from a teenager in fatigues, there wasn’t anyone. She looked at the photo once more, and around at the crowd.

That had to be him. A big man, bald, just like in the photo, only older. Tomi closed the distance some, so she could see the details of his face. Photo to the man. Man to the photo. Photo to the man. That was him. She stood there, almost locked in place by fear of rejection. What if he hates me? What if he doesn’t believe me? What if he believes me.. but doesn’t want to be in my life? What if he’s a criminal? Panic was welling up in her throat again. She forced the feeling away. Her brain took over ‘you are the daughter of a marine dammit! Talking to one measly man shouldn’t turn you to jelly, suck it the hell up and go meet your father!’

“Yes ma’am” she said under her breath, as she purposefully made her way to her father’s table. “Hello Sir.. I’m Tomi.” She held out her hand.

[Chaindog]

He had gotten a good seat and was able to see most of what was going on. People eating, Shopping and just generally wandering around. Pathetic he thought to himself. He had done more with his life by time he was 21 than most of the kids here today. He continued to look around, awaiting this female. He had no description or anything to go on. He leaned back and kept his usual straight face with the take no **** attitude. Whatever was going to happen would happen. Just then there was a scream as a man took off in his direction. A purse snatcher. He laughed to himself as he stuck his arm out clothes-lining the man in the gut, watching him double over as the guards caught him. He nodded and smirked just a tad as they hauled him off. Just then he noticed something. A young woman in her twenties with long dark brown hair and hazel eyes. At first he whispered Sarah then shook his head. It couldn't be. When the woman came to the table this person looked just like her. He stood up as she introduced herself as Tomi. He offered her a seat as he looked her over, still not believing what he was seeing. Sitting back down himself he spoke softly.

"The name is Cha...Thomas. No need for sir. I assume you are the one who is claiming to be my daughter. I mean you look so much like Corporal Murphy. Sarah that is. Did you bring what I asked for?"

He looked around and then back to her, waiting to see what she had in the envelope. If all was as she said it was she would know what to bring.

[Tomi]

“Might not be a need, but feels odd to ..call you anything but..Sir..” She drifted off kinda quiet. It was the truth, she couldn’t call him Thomas, he was her father. And it felt very odd to call him ‘father’ or ‘dad’. It was a foreign word really. So many years it had been just her and mom. But she had to smile when he said she had looked like her mom. Her mom had been beautiful and strong. Tomi knew she wasn’t as pretty as her mom. Her mom had one of those smiles that lit up a room, and made people to be with her. Tomi didn’t have that charisma.

She took the took seat he had gestured to, and slowly, because it was all she had that showed she had a ‘true family unit’, slid the manilla envelope toward him. Tomi wanted to tell him, she wanted it back. But what if he got mad, and thought she was just trying to trick him? She should have made copies, but she hadn’t thought about until this very moment.

Tomi pulled her hands back and rested them in her lap, under the table, to hide the fact she was clenching them tight. “I,.. uh, found that envelope, just like you see it. I didn’t put those papers in there. They were already there. Mom must have done it.. and then.. well changed her mind about contacting you.” She swallowed nervously.

“It was sealed.. I opened it.” her voice started out enthusiastic and once more drifted off. He was so huge. He could be a football linebacker. Or a Bouncer at one of the those high end clubs. Or a bodyguard! She forced herself to focus, she would find out what he did later. Now.. now was time to be quiet.. let him read.

Tomi immediately launched into how she found the envelope. “See.. If I had found it earlier.. but I just found it.. see.. I couldn’t go through her things then, I needed time. If I had know it was there just waiting to be found .. Of course I would have, but it’s an inanimate object.. it can’t talk.”

‘Oh god.. did I just say that?!’ She stared at him horrified, then jumped to her feet, “Want a soda? I need a soda! I will be right back!” Soda hell, she needed a stiff shot of bourbon or three. Tomi escaped to one of the food venders there in the food court and waited in the longest line she could find for her soda. She finally returned and sat down, she would just stay there quietly. Determined to keep her mouth shut.

[Chaindog]

He sat there as the young woman talked. She even sounded like Murphy. He knew the girl was nervous as she went on rambling. He watched as she slid the envelope to him and went on talking. He didn't open it as of yet as he wanted to hear all she had to say. After she was done he watched her leave, then looked again at the envelope. Curiosity had gotten the better of him. He opened it and looked inside. Pulling the items out slowly he looked them over in turn. He looked over the birth certificate first. Noting the timeline on the date of birth and the mother. He thought back that this child was born after he was in Germany recovering. Next came the discharge papers. He knew ever member of the unit he served with. It matched up perfectly. Murphy's serial number. He still had in memorized. Name, Rank, Serial Number. The unit she was in and her other information. After that he pulled out a card. He looked at it and blinked. It was a report card. He noticed the signature was a spot on match of that on the birth certificate. He looked it over and nodded at the grades and remarks. He looked inside and then pulled out a handful of photos. Pictures of his unit. He looked at the back and seen the names of each man and woman that was under him and written in Murphy's style it said Iraq 1990. He looked back at the front at each person in turn and spoke softly to himself.

"Sanchez, Murphy, Henderson, Perez, Tostado, Cook, Wayne, Jones, Paxton, Griffon, Price."

It was hard for him to look at each again. He had to fight back with almost everything he had to keep from breaking down. He set the picture off to the side and looked at the others for there tour. The number in each got less and less as time went by. By the end it was him and three others. Murphy being one of them. God how they had aged in just a few months time. Then came the baby pictures. Murphy and the child. He smiled some as he looked at them, noticing how each passed. The child and mother aging. He set the pictures back in the envelope and placed it back in front of him and looked at the girl.

"My first question is this...How is this even possible? I never did anything with Murphy."

There was still a gap in his memory of that of being a prisoner of war with Murphy yes but ..He had to find out what happened and he knew just who to go to.

"So what do you want from me? Money? A place to stay? Help with a boyfriend? I don't know what you expect from me since I've never even heard of you until today."

It was an honest question and he had hoped she would be honest. If this was his daughter then he would do all he could to help her but then another nagging question came to mind. How the hell do I tell her that Thomas Cook is now a vampire? Its not something you hear everyday. He sat back and watched her and then listen to her side again.

[Tomi]

Tomi didn’t hear anything past, “I never did anything with Murphy.” Her soda forgotten, her expectant expression turned to one of disbelief. It was the tone of his voice. It wasn’t a ‘yea try to prove it’ tone of voice. No, it was a, “Nope sorry, you lose, I never did anything with Murphy” tone. He was sure. He wasn’t trying to lie to get out of it. He wouldn’t shown up if that was the case. She believed him.

She slumped back into the molded plastic seat of the mall food court. “But you’re Thomas..?” She said it more to herself than to him. “She named me Tomi…” She didn’t understand. Why would her mom put his name on her birth certificate? Her mom wouldn’t lie. Not about something like that. Never. Her hands fisted, in frustration.

Everything pointed to him. His name was on her Birth certificate. She was named Tomi. Her mom would refuse to talk about her father. Her mother had put together that envelope.. not her! Why had her mom done that, if it wasn’t him? Tomi glared at him, “My Mom wouldn’t lie. Never!” She turned her head and stared off at some trash can while she tried to sort it out. “God the beatings I got for lying..”

Maybe her mom did lie? She felt the bile rising in her throat. Maybe that’s why she never did anything with the envelope, because she couldn’t go through with it? But his name was forever linked because of the birth certificate. Maybe the envelope was put together to be destroyed. Maybe her mom had meant to burn it, but then the cancer took her before she could?

No. Her mom would never lie.

Tomi shook her head, still staring at that damn trash can. “Could there have been another “Thomas Cook?” Her voice was defeated and embarrassed, what if this Thomas Cook had a wife and kids, and here she was trying to make it out that he had broken his vows? She could have ruined his life. The nausea was back tenfold. She couldn’t look at him.

[Chaindog]

He sat there watching her reactions and knew this was to be expected. He just didn't know what else to say or do. He knew the pictures, he knew the discharge papers. He knew who Murphy was in the pics. Could it be that maybe something happened while he was under the drugs as a prisoner? He didn't know but he needed to find out. He thought long and hard as he looked her over before speaking.

"I am Thomas yes. That is me in those pictures with your mother. We did serve together in the war. She saved my life and patched me up. Maybe...I mean...."

He thought a bit more and looked at her eyes. His color of hazel. Just too many things put it together. Maybe he could go see her and find out what happened. That was at least a start.

"Walk with me. I hate the mall. Too many damn kids here with all their ...Whatever it is they do these days."

He got up and waited for her to hopefully follow but spoke a bit more.

"How is Sarah anyway. I haven't spoken to her since she was shipped back to Hawaii."

[Tomi]

Tomi stood up, she was never the mall rat kind. She had picked the mall because it would be safe. Lots of people, had ‘Thomas Cook’ turned out to be a creeper. She walked with him, and sighed as he asked after her mom. People said time would heal her, but it hadn’t, it had been two years, and even now when she thought of it, her eyes would get hot and then well with tears. The last thing she wanted to do was bawl in front of him.

But Tomi should have realized he would ask. She should have prepared for that. She should have known and been braced for it. But the question that rolled so easily off his tongue, twisted her gut into knots. She swallowed hard. “Dead. Two years ago. Cancer. She.. “ Her voice broke, and she had to stop. She blinked rapidly. She refused to cry like a baby. Unconsciously she clenched her hands into fists. “I couldn’t bring myself to go through her things until just recently.”

Ok. It had passed.. mostly. Tomi took a deep breath and pretended it was a Lifetime Made for Tv movie she was describing. “That’s why I just now, tried to find you. I never had a dad.. because that subject was -off limits!-” She made the cut-throat slash gesture across her neck.

“You know what I am talking about.. that look you get, when you push something too far, and you mom dares you, silently, to just.. say... one.. more... word, and you almost think you will be killed on the spot by the look in her eye, if you do? Well the word ‘dad’ was off limits. The last time I asked, I was 10, she threatened to tan my hide until I no skin left.” Tomi stared off into the distance, “She meant it too. She would have done it, just own up to her words. I knew she meant it. I’m not stupid. I stopped asking.”

Tomi released a pent up breath. “But then I found that envelope.. and I was like, wow.. I -do- have a dad.” Her voice held excitement that fizzled as she remembered He said he never knocked boots with her mom. Maybe if he took a DNA test? She took a quick peek at his face. Yea, she’s not asking him that. That was tantamount to saying, ‘I don’t believe you, you big fat liar’.

“Wait! Maybe you were drunk! You know..” her voice got that excited edge to it, as she whipped forward to stand and stop in front of him. “It was war right? Of course it was! You and Mom had a near death experience.. but you got out of it.. and celebrated by drinking.. then before you know it.. you had one too many.. and you and Mom are going at like bunnies.. but you’re so drunk you don’t remember! That could happen.. right?!” Tomi looked at him expectantly. “.. right?..”