The Fearless Not-Quite Zombie Killer

[Zenn (DELETED 4491)]

After he got banned from Crownet and the subsequent talk with his sire (Mama Vee? Velveteen Rabbit? He’d have to decide on the most appropriately annoying nickname soon) Zenn slipped out of her office and started roaming the city with a whole new perspective. The first thing he did was test his reflexes, picking pockets for a few hours until he had accumulated a sizeable (in comparison to his paycheck) sum that he quickly deposited in the bank. It was amazing how slow people were, now, except for the other vampires, anyway. But he’d get better and then he could practice picking Velveteen’s pockets.

He found a shady back alley merchant type place and sprinted back to the bank to withdraw a wad of cash in exchange for a hunting knife. She had warned him he’d have to defend himself and even if he had laughed it off with (another) reference that had sailed over her head (seriously, he was going to have to get her to watch television; Australia really was another planet) he was going to take her seriously. She was an Experienced Vampire Type Person, after all, and she looked like she came right out of one of those scary leather dungeons so it was only the smart thing to do.

While he was grabbing his money from the bank, though, he saw a notice of the Army coming to level this place called the Quarantine Zone and, naturally, he wanted to check it out. He went through the sewers, creeping past those weirdo naked people with bald heads, and arrived in the spooky as **** place.

Deserted buildings galore! He snooped around the bar first, knife firmly in hand, then wandered into the supermarket and face first into a zombie. He slashed at it wildly, too surprised to attempt to imitate all the superhero stuff he had watched and watched it fall with a gurgle, zombified blood gushing from its throat.

“Nobody told me there were ZOMBIES. SHE WAS HOLDING OUT ON ME.” He kicked at the corpse, looking as put out as a child who hadn’t gotten the toy he wanted for Christmas. “Totally uncool, dude.”

Of course, his shouting to himself had alerted the other zombies to his presence and he managed to kill all of three of the hoard of about eight or nine before he beat a hasty retreat.

“I’m supposed to be like Professor X and Wolverine and ****. I’m not supposed to lose to zombies.”

Even later, after Velveteen had begrudgingly given him a sword and an Uzi (which how sweet was that) he still couldn’t kill more than one more. “Weak as a freakin’ kitten.” Zenn muttered and started swinging the sword around in a fair mimicry of Zorro.